Retiring On Low-income

I don't see where I replied to this one Ina, sometimes all I have is my phone-text, and those sometimes come out either too short, or not at all.

I wanted to tell you thanks again for writing to me. This can be a sad place. Most of the women here are addicts of one sort or another. I rented here because I could afford it, and don't drink anyway except for on occasion. The house is called a "clean & sober" house, but unfortunately, the women that need help with that, don't get it here, other than just a place where they don't dare fall off the wagon. People have gotten kicked out, and it is terrible to see it. Many of the gals will steal food out of other's stock, clothing, money, anything they can. The worse thing I've seen is when someone leaves and isn't "maybe" able to return for their things, people here go through and take what they want. I'm sickened by humanity, or lack thereof when I see stuff like that. Also, the gossip is horrible, back-stabbing.

I know I got carried away here, telling you all more than you probably care to hear. It's been hard, but I am older than all but one here (about 14 people live here including manager and asst.). Most have no teeth, ravaged bodies that make them look many years older than their true age I am torn between helping them, and protecting myself. I've loaned money, shared food, given rides here and there, and listen if someone does need to talk. They see me as sort of an alien though, as I don't have a clue what it is like to be hooked on a needle full of heroine, or I guess most's drug of choice is Meth. Anyway, it is good to get some of this off my chest. I don't feel I am in danger, thank goodness, I know some women would feel that way here. The other thing that is hard to deal with is the mental illness. There is some severe stuff like skitzo (don't know how to spell that) and lots of OCD, and PTSD I guess, so they tell me.

Better go for now, hugs to all denise

 

@Abby Normal , Check your private messages.

 

I can empathise Denise it must be terrible living in such an alien environment, I had some of that when I was much younger but nowhere near as bad as your situation. It's difficult when your instinct is to help people but its a bottomless pit from my experience, and truthfully there is little you can do but protect yourself while keeping an open heart.
There is a whole hidden strata of societies rejects that most of us are shielded from, and I do feel we are becoming more self absorbed in general.
I really live in a bubble justifying my easy lifestyle by saying to myself I am too old to do anything practical, but I am still saddened by some aspects of the way humanity is going and our seeming lack of care for each other.

 

Maybe I'll just keep sharing on what goes on here, and that will help diffuse my anger, resentment, and sometimes fear.

Last afternoon, they allowed a gal in that tested dirty for heroine, or meth (I don't know about the tests because all they ever had me do was a "blow" in a thing to make sure none of us had drank anything because someone said they smelled alcohol). We all knew before long, just by the way she was acting. One gal that was in the room they put her in was so upset because her kids get to come stay, and she was scared about how this gal was going to be during her withdrawals. This place is no way set up for detox. No professionals living here at all.

Anyway, she left last night, and I am not sure exactly what happened, but the gals said she was bouncing off the walls etc. I hope she can get into the actual detox center here in Eureka. So this place just stresses me out, on a daily basis. I don't like to whine, since I am so much luckier than those on the streets, or living in an area, in tents, behind the Mall. They call it the Devil's Playground. They drink and use there, after many of them spend the day hunting for money to by more for the drugs or alcohol It's horrible, and this place is a palace compared to.

So I still haven't heard from the lady that manages the apartments in CC, but I know I will sooner or later I am very grateful to be posting here this a.m. It truly helps, thank you all denise

 

@Abby Normal , you are very right about being able to express what you are going through to people that really care is a great help. I don't think any of us see you as a whiner, but I do understand your feelings. When my world started falling apart to the extent that I had lost all control of it, a few people on this site pulled me through.

When my son died, I let out more than I knew I was holding inside, and I did it online not understanding just how open to the world I was being. I had only been online for about four weeks. So of course next came the shame of letting so many see me in that condition. Then 10 months later my husband died, and guess who pulled me through again? All of you. Some by kind words, some by just quitely letting me know I was in their thoughts and prayers.

Somehow we came together as a sort of family, and families listen to us when things are good or bad.

I find it hard to trust someone that has never had hard times. They are either lying to me or themselves.

 

Denise, I'm not very good with words. I do give great hugs, though.

{{{{Hugs}}}} and God bless.

 

If not for my wonderful children Denise, I would be where you are and I don't think I could have handled it as well as you did. Things can change for anybody in a blink of an eye. Money and health can be lost.

You know I'm always around for you, if You get to CC we won't be too far away from each other.

Really have my fingers crossed that this place will be your new home.

 

Stay safe, Denise, and know that you are in our prayers!

 

^ what he said.

Denise, I'm sorry I missed this thread until now. I saw the word "Retirement" and moved on because I thought it was financial investment advice which isn't a subject I'm good at. Your story touches me and I'll be praying for you. "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace." ~ Numbers 24-26

 

Maybe not Shirley, but you shine bright Ever since we did one of those silly games with the "making a sentence" or one of those anyway, I have realized what a neat person you are So hey, by the way, you are very good with words, LOL!! big hugs backatya!! denise

 

Wow!! I'm so excited, but still not 100% sure, but just talked to my "possibly" new landlady in Crescent City. She says she should be able to get me in mid-January!! So it sounds like a go, and I don't think she received my Social Security Retirement verification, so that is all she is waiting on in order to tell me for sure! I know my income, so shouldn't fret So a happy new year I am thinking Yeehaw!!

She also really seems to like me. I'm going to be on the 3rd floor, but I like that as I am active, and there is an elevator for when I need to carry anything She is still trying to get her boss to send photos she can pass onto me "email". No balcony but the court-yard is lovely. Maybe I will just be happy with what I "do" get hey Thanks anyone who has been praying for me, I know it isn't "where" I am that brings true contentment and joy, but it sure helps to have a truly, comfy well-managed place to live I will enjoy meeting others my age, or especially the older folks hugs all, denise PS she also said no worries on move-in costs, they work with low-income folks. I can have a pet with a deposit, and well, I'm just excited, lol

 

thanks gals, I really want to get more photos. That building doesn't look 3 stories but evidently it's higher than it looks hugs all!!

 

This is such wonderful news Denise, I hope all goes smoothly from now on and have a good Christmas living in anticipation of a great New Year.

 

I am grateful Terry, but just this morning I was feeling discouraged because it isn't the place I really hoped for. I signed up for a subsidized apartment near my friend, Mrs. Robinson, in Lakeport CA. I did that a year ago this month. The manager there says most only wait a year to get in. I am going to call them today because I want to see if there is any chance at all that I might get in there instead. I know I sound picky, and ungrateful, but I just don't want to move again. Our weather here on the coast of Northern Cal. is very moderate, hotter inland at Lakeport, but that is the type of weather I love, and grew up in.

Like I said, I am trying to just be grateful I will be getting out of this joint, lol!! I sleep in a room with 3 roomies, and I am on a top bunk (no problems with that) but one of the gals opened her top drawer, and I never saw so many pill bottles outside of a pharmacy. I actually commented, I couldn't restrain myself, lol! I asked her if she actually took all those, and she said yes. I asked her in the most kind way I could, what she had. I was thinking cancer or something. She says she has "psyche" problems. Well duh!! Sorry if I offend anyone but I am not into pill pushing, legal or otherwise denise