Unless they die, victims of crime must decide how to continue with their lives and herein are Choices to be made. Even if you could not stop the beatings from your father you still had choices to make on how to get on with your life. You apparently seem to have done that by virtue of your posts.
But my father broke my spine when I was 15 ... what if that didn't mend?..what if I'd been paralysed by that...would that have been my choice to be wheelchair bound ?
Yes - I made the decision never to be my Mother I endured physical abuse too from my Father but wounds heal, emotional scars stay for life I preferred my Father and understood him far more than my Mother - Yes we do a lot of thinking as a child
You are playing The What If Game. What if your father died before breaking your spine. What if a Meteor destroyed Dublin when crashing into earth.
@Lon Tanner: I am convinced that most of our lives and how we live were not by chance, but by the Choices that we have made. Sure S--t Happens but we still then must make choices. I feel fortunate that most of choices I have made turned out for the best. In looking back over my life I really can't recall making a bad choice. There isn't one person who makes it to adulthood who hasn't made a choice they regret. Judging a situation you know nothing about is always a bad choice.
Clearly, the point that Holly is making is that we aren't all born with the same opportunities. Yes, our lives are largely dependent upon the choices that we make, but these choices are not equally distributed. I was not abused as a child but I adopted a boy who had been. I can empathize but I cannot truly understand. Had my son remained in that family, he would not have had the same choices as he ended up having. Sure, people who grow up in abusive homes still make choices, but the choices we make are dependent upon a lot of things, such as our experiences, our appreciation for the relationships between actions and consequences, our level of understanding, the degree of hope that we have, and the opportunities that are available to us. People who grow up under horrid conditions are sometimes able to improve their lot by making good choices, and it is certainly true that the children of the elite often make bad choices, but it is also true that the bad choices made by the children of the underprivileged are far more likely to be punished than those made by the children of the elite. One of the things that Americans like to believe about their country is that this is a nation in which anyone can be president. But is that really true? Perhaps theoretically, but not realistically. For the most part, the people who have the best chances of being elected to political office come from the American aristocracy. The chances of someone being elected president who was not from the elite are greater today than they were a century or so ago. While choices play into it, achievement involves more than that. Barron Trump has a far better chance of success than the kid down the street whose single mother is in and out of jail or rehab.
@Beth Gallagher Or, a decision regarding the diagnosis' accuracy. I have personally seen numerous cases of diagnoses of serious, often terminal nature, medical intervention being "pushed", treatment given, and then despite statistical odds to the contrary, the patient proves to be "cured". Cured perhaps of what, though? Frank
My point to Lon was basically that we don't get to make all the decisions in our lives. Many are made for us, like it or not.
@Beth Gallagher This is true, of course. My point is that the most serious and compellingly frightening decisions needing to be made by individuals are often "driven" in directions suiting the needs of those often benefiting more by those decisions than the individual who needs to make them. (double-speak, this sounds like, in retrospect). Frank
I don't see the need for further dissection of my comment; I was simply being snarky about whether we always get to decide things in life. By "terminal", I was indicating that death is imminent and further decision making would be moot.