"The fishes fill with tears in their eyes." How would anyone know if a fish was crying? How would anyone see tears while they are swimming in the water? These things never make sense to me.
When I was first subjected to Haiku poetry, I immediately thought that the reason I didn’t care for it was that the translation from an extremely colorful language to English probably lacked a lot to be desired. However, I did at one time take a stab at the technique and when a couple of pieces were finished, it only garnered a “huh”(?) from me so nothing I ever did was sent off to my Japanese Pen Pal for her approval. We’d just finished a war with Japan and I didn’t wish my attempts at Japanese poetry to accidentally declare yet another war.
That’s almost better than the Burma Shave signs I used to see going down the road! But, the Burma shave poetry did indeed rhyme so no, I guess they were no relation to Haiku.
DOG HAIKU, author unknown: I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be Today I sniffed Ten dog butts - I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Mail man has come to kill us - Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! I lift my leg and Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot - Sniff this and weep. How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug. My human is home! I am so happy I have Made a big puddle. I hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Sleeping here, my chin On your foot - no greater bliss - well, Maybe catching cats. Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you like I do. Dig under fence - why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there. I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating. You may call them fleas, But they are far more - I call Them a vocation. My owners' mood is Romantic - I lie near their Feet. I blow a big one. CAT HAIKU, another anonymous author: You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you. You must scratch me there! Yes, above my tail! Behold, elevator butt. The rule for today Touch my tail, I shred your hand. New rule tomorrow. In deep sleep hear sound cat vomit big hairball somewhere will find in morning. Grace personified. I leap into the window. I meant to do that. Blur of motion, then- silence, me, a paper bag. What is so funny? You're always typing. Well, let's see you ignore my sitting on your hands. My small cardboard box. You cannot see me if I can just hide my head. Terrible battle. I fought for hours. Come and see! What's a 'term paper'? Small brave carnivores Kill pine cones and mosquitoes Fear vacuum cleaner I want to be close to you. Can I fit my head inside your armpit? Wanna go outside. Oh, crap! Help! I got outside! Let me back inside! Humans are so strange. Mine lies still in bed, then screams My claws are not all that sharp. Cats mew out of angst "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! Could break so much more!" The Big Ones snore now Every room is dark and cold Time for "Cup Hockey" We're almost equals I purr to show I love you Want to smell my butt?