Heard about this woman this morning. She saw some pictures on Facebook with the caption 'these kids are making my life hell' - from a Café owner and the behaviour of the kids outside were ruining her business and bringing misery. As Mum viewed the pictures she was horrified to see her Son providing the misery The next day she took him to the location and made him pick up litter in the whole of the street, that he and friends had created then asked the owner if she would mind, if this little terror helped her out in the shop ! So he worked off his punishment. Great idea huh - and hopefully a lesson in behaviour
A little more extreme, but this is how a Baltimore mom reacted when she saw her son in a riot. For those who cannot view the YouTube version, there are other versions on Google. Just key in Baltimore mom sees son in riot.......or something to that effect and it should come up.
Yeah, but I do think that there are a lot of kids who have a form of “pass receiveritus”. It’s when you have to smack a pass receiver in football with a 2x4 just to get their attention and make them focus on the ball. The above mom is simply trying to do just that. He’s focused on being a fool and she’s focused on her baby growing up to be a real man. He needed an attitude adjustment and she was there to give it to him.
You could be right but I'm sure she's taken this approach before, he could resent it But - I don't know them
Please do not get me wrong @Patsy Faye. I left home early for a reason and it wasn’t because I got too much custard for dinner. Now, whether the Baltimore mother was finally at the end of her rope and decided on the ballistic option or whether he got smacked around on a daily basis is pretty much unknown. What I do know is that kids, especially teens, get talked into a lot of mischief by their peers with the parents none the wiser because they’re just not paying that much attention. Whether I resented the attitude I got at home or not isn’t what I took away from the experience. I learned quick that there are rules in society and one has to take account for one’s self or suffer the consequences.
@Bobby Cole Yeah, but I do think that there are a lot of kids who have a form of “pass receiveritus”. It’s when you have to smack a pass receiver in football with a 2x4 just to get their attention and make them focus on the ball. That's a big part of the problem - extreme physical violence and aggression, instead of rational discipline. The prisons are full of people who endured repeated physical severe and brutal attacks by parents - never a form of discipline, but about the rage of the parent and it's often passed down from generation to generation. The composed mom in the OP handled the situation in the optimum manner.
Yes, @Emma Smith, extreme violence more often than not begets extreme violence. That said, the prisons are full of people from both sides of that aisle. Some were treated badly as kids and some were given everything they wanted whilst still others were allowed to roam the streets to do whatever they wished. If you look at the Baltimore video, it’s not like the mother had a weapon in her hand as opposed to the rock that her son was ready to throw. In this case she did what she did in the middle of a riot and not by finding out on face book in a peaceful setting that her kid was into doing some mischief in front of a store with his friends. The woman in the OP had time to think things over whilst the Baltimore mother had maybe seconds before her kid might become a corpse or at least, that’s what she said was going through her mind. She didn’t want another Freddie Gray. Two settings, two ways to handle things and certainly two completely different cities with mothers in two different environments. I’m a product of someone who went through a highly abused childhood and no, I hate to think that anyone would ever be treated as I was and yes, I do resent being treated that way. That said, through all the resentment plus going through a war, I turned out pretty good in my most humble opinion. It’s a given that many others haven’t faired quite as well for whatever reason. Different kids, different circumstances, different everything. But then, let’s look at that other kind of abuse: when a kid grows up thinking that he or she doesn’t have to be accountable for anything and there are no consequences for bad behavior. They are the ones even I am extremely cautious of. They do not care. Edit: The “football” analogy was pure satire and anyone who believes that I would condone taking a 2x4 to a kid doesn’t know me very well. Still, there are some mothers, and dads, who need to find a way to get their growing children’s attention and that may not be by making them sit in a corner.
@Bobby Cole But then, let’s look at that other kind of abuse: when a kid grows up thinking that he or she doesn’t have to be accountable for anything and there are no consequences for bad behavior. The above isn't abuse, but neglect and a lack of discipline. The mother who handled things without going upside her child's head is the mother most likely to raise someone who will be successful. Rationalizing that very bad behavior by a child/teen justifies very bad behavior by the parent, is wrong. And harmful. @Bobby Cole Still, there are some mothers, and dads, who need to find a way to get their growing children’s attention and that may not be by making them sit in a corner. And that way shouldn't be anything that remotely resembles physical abuse. There are times when you might have to spank a small child, but if you're using a weapon, it isn't a spanking and they're too big/old for a spanking.
It is quite obvious dear Emma that we are on completely different pages and perhaps, that is how it should be.
I think it depends on the child. My dad could just look disappointed in me and I would change my behavior. My younger brother needed a more aggressive action in order to coax him to follow ANY rule. As adults, we still have the same difference in character.
Agree. This is proven over and over again, where children raised in the same household with similar treatment take very different paths.
I understand what you're saying @Bobby Cole - I just believe there are better ways to improve behaviour The riot situation certainly 'was' different and the Mother reacted understandably, he reacted too, which concerned me. Physical abuse will either make a child believe that's the way to handle things or they will take the opposite route I took the opposite route Respect is a big factor too, you have to show the child respect and the parents obviously stating they deserve respect too I never experienced that at all but knew I wanted it
So true, but we cared about that, your Brother didn't seem to, so he would need different handling That's where 'parenting' comes in