Sunday at almost Midnight, my wife flew out of Vegas bound for South Bend, IN. Real red-eye. Getting her there was so-so, its 130 miles to McCarran Airport, left house early, about 5PM, she prefers being early at A.P. Her sister and Mom had driven to S.B. Sun. afternoon, took a room near A.P.; their home is about 100 miles away towards Ohio. My wife got in 6AM, called shuttle to take her to their hotel. Could not sleep in-flight. Wife went 33 hrs. without sleep, but got 9 hrs. last night. She will stay there 3 weeks. What with repeated eye surgeries and 4 glasses lens fittings still not right, she had delayed the trip for months. She is still not comfortable with driving, seeing well with only one eye. Dr. appointment early Nov. (again!). How can I fail to realize how much she does here? This experience is proving to confirm my concern about being alone, should she precede me......... How should I guide myself during these coming weeks? Frank
Oh Frank, bless your heart. You will be fine.She is only a call away, shud a crisis arise. Just let her know how much you appreciate all things she does when she home.
@Gloria Mitchell Well, that's true, unless the crisis is terminal, or nearly so. No friend aware I'm alone, no neighbor to make aware, closest relative my nephew 170 miles away, but his wife disallows him now from even calling me. Bunch of dysfunctional "cherks". Frank EDIT: My hand, fortunately, is not yet extended forward seeking help, like the poor bugger below.
I still remember the last time you were a grass widower. Now it has to be again. This is clearly the downside to secluded living. Give each other a call each day in the morning or a text message if possible. I do wish you well as Gloria has already expressed it. Accompanying her wouldn't have been an option then?
I guess I don't understand your concern, Frank. What kind of guidance are you seeking? My husband was out of town for the past 5 days; I was lonely without him but life pretty much went on as normal. On Sunday the pump on our swimming pool was making a louder sound that usual, so I had to get out there, clean skimmers, release some air from the filter, clean the filter basket. That was the extent of my pool pump expertise and thankfully when I reassembled everything, the noise went away. That was my only "what the hell?" moment, thankfully. I have advised my husband that I am dying first because I don't want to be by myself.
@Frank Sanoica ....ok then stay close to home and don't be up in the air, don"t be on the the ground, don't travel far and eat light. you will be fine.
Within 18 years of marriage, I've never had my wife fly somewhere without me being with her. For job training purposes (back in 2009), she had to fly from NC to Detroit, Mich. three different times and we paid for me to go with her each time. While she was at work, I watched movies in our hotel room. Only time we've ever been away from each other overnight was when I had my hip replacement and had to spend three nights in the hospital. Yes, we are "connected at the hips" most of the time, except when she was working a full-time job. There are married couples that don't like that, but, in our marriage, that's what we like.
@Frank Sanoica When my husband used to go to Wisconsin to visit his kids, I would always plan a surprise project to do while he was away. Paint a room, plant a flower bed, clean the garage, etc. Not only was he surprised when he got back, but it kept me busy while he was away. Above ALL things, don't make a mess she has to clean when she gets home.
@Frank Sanoica: How can I fail to realize how much she does here? This experience is proving to confirm my concern about being alone, should she precede me......... Imagine doing all that she does with no running water - for weeks! If you can think of something she would really like as a gift, maybe something you could make, or prepare a meal for her, something like that would be so nice, waiting for her when she returns.
@Emma Smith Your thoughtfulness is gracious, to say the least! I thank you for that. As many like us, my wife & I have each from time to time asked the other, since we were both previously married in our younger days, would we have prevailed had we stayed married to another back then. Seems we both come up with similar answers: No. She felt stuck in a one-way non-productive marriage, while my first wife felt overwhelmed by seriously detrimental events in her life, and felt she wanted to live alone to bury the past. I did not discourage her, but cried like a fool when the end came. Second time around now, it's been 40 years....... Frank
After 40 years of sharing your life with your wife I can see how you would feel "lost" without her for three weeks. May God make the time apart go swiftly by and give you things to do and enjoy while she is enjoying some time with some more of her family @Frank Sanoica.