My son and his wife have been married for seven years, and he just recently (last month) told me that he is no longer happy and that he wants out. I asked him about going to counseling to see if the marriage can be repaired, but he says that he has little to no feelings left for her. To add to this, they move to MN from NY fives years ago, leaving her family and friends behind. They have shared friends here, through karate, but she has no friends of her own, while he does. Lately, he's been spending more time with his friends, and less time with her. Today, he asked me if I wanted to go pumpkin picking with him Sunday, and while I said yes, I wondered about his wife, will she be included in this group outing? I'm not very close to her, because she is a little difficult to communicate with (health reasons), and yet I feel guilty for leaving her out. My son and I talked today, and the subject of the upcoming holidays came up - neither of us know what to do. Do they come here, as a couple, does he join his friends, again, leaving her on her own, or stay home together. I went through my own divorce 16 years ago, and for some reason, I feel more torn going through this with him (and to some extend her) than I did with my ex-husband.
I kept my son-in-law when he and my daughter divorced. Hey, *I* didn't divorce him and he's always been good to me.
My middle daughter's divorce was final this past August. I've been through divorce but I agree that seeing one of my children going through it was so much harder than going through it myself. She and my SIL had been married for almost 18 years and we both cried when she told me she was going to divorce him. She had very valid reasons for doing so and he refused counseling, etc. but I hated to see their marriage and family split apart. My SIL (ex now) will still always be considered part of our family as long as he does right by their children and as long as he is respectful to my daughter as their Mom. Divorce happens...I wish it didn't...but it does. But that doesn't mean we can't all keep loving each other and doing the best we can to see that the children involved have a good life with two parents who may not love each other anymore...but both still love and want the best for their children.
About the only positive here, is that they did not have any children. Thank you so much for your feedback, I had forgotten that my own mother maintained a good relationship with my ex, after our divorce.
Wife and I had been divorced twice before we met. Didn't bother either of us when we each found out. Divorce happens and, sometimes, it's the best thing that can happen, especially when kids are involved in a bad marriage.