How many of you have a grown child living with you? My youngest daughter (who is in her very late 20's) lives with me with her now 8 yr old son. They have been with me for several years. She take care of me. She does all of the housework, helps me with my laundry, does the dishes every night (I am able to cook by sitting on a stool), and other things around the house. She was living with me 4 yrs ago when I fell and broke my right upper arm in 3 places. I was unable to get up from the floor and she called the ambulance. When I got out of the hospital 8 days later (after having surgery to have to arm put back together) she took care of me until I was able to get up and around. I do not know what I would have done without her. I was so doped up on pain med that I was unable to get out of bed bymyself, feed my self or anything else.
I wouldn't have minded such a thing but, as adults, my son and I have always lived thousands of miles from one another. My fault -- I moved, he stayed put in Southern California.
I live with my grown daughter and two grandsons. I do the cooking, housework and laundry. At first it was to help her as a single parent to take care of the boys, now the boys are able to take care of themselves. I am ready to be more independant and on my own to do more of what I want to do and not concern myself with rather or not the laundry has been done for the week.
Sadly, my son has moved on - which is what I wanted him to do, to be independent and have his own life. But it sure is lonely without him. (He was our only child). We've actually considered fostering a child. It sounds like you are very lucky to have such a wonderful daughter, and that your living arrangements are beneficial for both of you. I'm not sure why we (society) decided a hundred years ago that children should move out and be on their own. I think we were much better off with multi-generational homes. Maybe it had some to do with mother-in-laws!
From everything I have heard and can imagine, I believe you are right. In a time of rising economies, I think it was believed that young adults could do better for themselves if they were to reach out, as the nation was moving from a largely agricultural society to an industrial society.
I think you're right that we thought of this (kids moving away and having there own lives) as "success". But I think that what we really accomplished was a break down of the family unit and a loss of community. You see people today who are so disconnected from others, who can't carry on a conversation, much less a relationship with anyone else. We, as a society, have become so self-centered and self-centric - things that never really happened when we were closer to our families. Even if it just "Sunday dinner at Mom's", a couple of days a month where we get together with loved ones and interact. I remember family reunions every summer. We may not have gotten along with everyone, but at least we "belonged". We had a place with people who cared about us and knew us. We were part of something bigger than just ourselves. I really, really, really hate to quote Hilary Clinton, but she was right - "It takes a village".
In spite of our occasional differences, I do enjoy haveing my daughter and grandson living with me. I have enjoyed watching my grandson grow from a barely walking baby to a active 8yr old. My other children and grandchildren all live to far for me to see them often so this has been wonderful to watch him as he has changed over the years. Plus I have the added benefit of having someone here who keeps the housework done and helps me with things when I need it!
Between 1985 and 1995, our homestead housed my bed ridden father in one room, my mother in a a small trailer out back, (they were divorced), myself and my husband, one of our sons with his wife, and three grandchildren. I was never bored!!! I was so busy that if I had worries, I didn't have the time or effort to pay them any attention. I was happy, and I thank my creator for such period in my life.
I have lived with my daughter and her boys since the boy were born and it has been a joy to watch them grow up, they are so independent now at times I feel useless. But they still need me to make them cookies.
All my children range in age from 18 to mid-twenties, and thankfully, they are all planning to live with me until they marry or finish college. I wouldn't have it any other way. When they are ready to go (the right way), I will be ready to release them. In the meantime, I'm glad they're not squandering their money on apartments. My friends and coworkers think it's such a weird set-up. I think it's practical, and it works for us.
Brittany, I don't think this is odd at all. Before WW2, our children lived with their families until they married, and it only whispered about when the young moved out of the family home. In my own home we had four generations living under our roof. We were never lonely, and it was unusual if we found it nessasary to look outside the family home for entertainment. Now I live alone, and I really miss the closeness to be found amongst a close family unit.
My daughter lives with me. She did live on her own for a decent amount of time, but finanical issues "forced" her to come back. Of course I wish her sucess, but it is nice to have her back home with me. She's quite the help around the house and I'm much less lonely now. I wouldn't mind if my son came to live with me at any time either. I kind of wish multi-generational family living together was still a widespread practice...I think it would be nice.
I will be honest I lived with my parents for all my life, till their death. Now they weren't in the best of health neither one so having me and my sibling who also chose to remain home with them was benficial to them. Because we were able to take over the household chores when it became impossible for either of them to do them any longer. We also paid room and board to them. After awhile I became my mother's care attendant (my father had died shortly before that) ansee d it was my job to take care of her at that point. I see no problem with kids continuing to live with their parents as adults, I knew a few people that I worked with along the way who thought it was terrible because they felt that I had no life of my own. But I didn't care what they thought, I wanted to be there for my parents.
Hello Hannah, I totally agree with you. I know there are times when children take atvantage of their parents, but I don't think it is as prevalent as some think. I took care of one of my grandmothers, both my parents, my husband, and a son until they died. None spent one day in a hospital, they were just pronounced dead at hospitals. I know that is what they preferred. I am living alone right now, but I think one of the grandchildren would come to live with me if I asked. Right now I just wish to see what it is like to live totally on my own.
This is not my story but my husband's aunt. We call her Tita to mean Aunt. She is cool, a smiling face and happy go lucky. And she is really lucky because she's got money, not rich but kind of well off. Tita has 3 children, the eldest is a woman who is married and quite well off. The youngest is a woman who is in the US. The middle child is a man now and still living with her. This guy, who used to be the best friend of my husband, has 2 kids and the eldest is living with him. Okay, before you get confused, I will make it simpler. Tita has a son named Von who in turn has a son named George. Von had never had a serious job in his entire life so he remains living with his mother. His son George followed in his footsteps. And George has a family too so that means Von is a grandfather now.