Well, one thing is for sure, Von, and her sister (my wife), will tell anyone that her sister has led a very sheltered life. She is highly religious and has told me "I would've become a Nun, but I wanted to have kids". She would've had to change religions to become a Nun. Her deceased husband had been a Minister at one time and had a PhD in Theology. When they were young in Michigan, on weekends, my wife and her brother would go with their mom to the local lake where they had a cottage and swim/boat. Wife's sister very seldom went to the lake and didn't like boating/fishing. She attended functions of her church on Saturday and church service on Sundays instead
I don't have to know your SIL or talk to her. I do know the meaning of Naive and your SIL example is terrible.
I suppose I've always been naive. I was more or less a loner as a child because of circumstances. I remember in junior high once police raided our locker rooms looking for marijuana. I didn't even know what it was but everyone else seem to know. Two or three boys were arrested. In Korea, as a squad leader, we moved back off line to Camp Casey, a reserve area near a town north of Seoul. next to a town we dubbed 'little chicgo." I visited that village several times, although it was off limits, met a brother and sister, whose dad was like a mayor or city councilman. One day they were having a council meeting (or whateer they called it) and the young brother told me his daddy wanted me to sit in. Some of the men wanted to asked me about America. I was reluncted but my young friend insisted. So I did. I sat to the left of his father. They asked me questions about america and I answered to the best of my ability at that time in my young life. The son, standing behund his father, interpeted what I said. While all this was going on they were passing a pipe around. There were eight men sitting in this circle, I was the nineth individual. Each man took a drag or two from the pipe and passed it to the next man. Reminded me of an Indian pow-wow in a western movie. When the pipe got to me I didn't know exctly what to do so I looked up to my friend standing behind his dad and asked him what I should do. He said take a puff or two and pass it on. I did. It was terrible tasting stuff. By the time it came around again it didn't taste quite so bad. By the time the meeting was over I had had several hits. I asked my friend if I could buy some of that tobacco. He said, "sure, stand by and I'll be back in a minute and he was, with about four ounces of tobacco in a little cloth bag. His dad said to give it to me. Several days later on a Sunday morning, my Exeutive Officer walked in to my tent which was empty except for me. The sides were rolled up and it wss hot as all get out. Most of my squad was for or five tents down the way playing poker or watching..The exec as what I was smoking? Told him I didn't know, some tobacco I got over in the village and I handed him my tobacco pouch. He asked if I'd been going into the village? Yes sir, been over three or four times. He said, 'Boggs, when You finish that pouch I wouldn't get any more. That's opium and someone else catch you with that you might be brought up on charges or drummed out of the army. I said I take it that's bad stuff, huh? It is, he said, get rid of it. I said. Yes sir, will do, immediately. And I did. But that's how naive I was. And I've always been a little that way about many things. My, my what did people think of me? And I didn't know it.
These sound like reasonable questions to me, although it may be unreasonable to expect someone to answer them reasonably or objectively. However, the chances of getting a satisfactory answer might be more likely from an actual person than through online research.
ADJECTIVE Naïve: Of a person or action......... showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment. This is most definitely her and exactly what Gloria's reply states.
Wisdom and the ability to judge are awfully hard to come by without experience whether it be through research or practical application. @Gloria Mitchell’s reply is great if you’re dealing with someone who is repetitive and the questioning is redundant especially if it is someone who you are around all the time. But.....that isn’t the scenario you have given. Ya know Cody, you’ve written about the things you do not like about your brother-in-law, now it’s your sister-in-law and it seems that there are so many other people you have problems with. Could it be that they might say about the same things about you as you do about them? Good thing they haven’t stumbled upon this forum.........
If .she keeps asking the same questions over and over... Then it sounds like she may be waiting for someone to give her the answer she wants to hear, and neither you nor her brother have provided it yet. Or, she doesn't really care and is just trying to make conversation. Either way, it might get on my nerves too after a while.
As with Gloria, Thank You!! Yes, she is repetitive in asking questions. No necessarily the same questions, but still, questions.
Bobby, she DOES many times ask the same questions, so that is "repetitive". No, we aren't around her all of the time, thank God, but she does call darn near every day. My wife tells me "she's lonely" and can be very upset that she can't do the things she did before the virus restrictions. I tell her "well, neither can we!" and she can get upset over me saying that. I met people on this forum who are most definitely lonely and she doesn't fit the word. As far as my BIL, we get along just fine. Just how good? Well, when I met him in 2000, my wife was shocked at how well we got along. "I've never seen anyone get along with my brother like that." It can just erk me, and my wife, that he wants very little to do with the family anymore. It's always, "have you talked to Ron lately?" my wife's sister will ask me. She doesn't have his number, but we do. He won't give it to her. And, yes, it's most definitely true, that I get along with rodeo, farm and ranch people much, much better than I get along with city folks. I've never hid that. Heck, I can talk to one of my wife's friends, who lives in So. California, but if certain subjects come up, that conversation definitely goes South. She is very, very open minded, of which we definitely aren't. Ok, Bobby, besides me and politicians, who else annoys you? LOL
Cody, the one BIG thing that annoys me about anyone is the amount of distrust and downright hatred people have for each other for reasons that absolutely floor me. Color of skin, sexual preferences, tattoos, lack of tattoos, what they drive, who they’re seen with, whether they’re quiet or whether they’re not, if they’re smart or just think they know, what church they go to, how they dress and the list goes on and on and it’s all stupid. Heck, it wasn’t too long ago I remember that our generation said, “don’t trust anyone over 30”! The thing is, looking into that proverbial mirror and discovering that each of us has a ton of faults that need to be worked on especially in the arena of ignorance, we really do not have anything to say about anyone else. Find me a Christian with good character and I’ll spend my time trying to live up to that standard and fixing my own faults instead of looking around to find fault in others. And, I didn’t write, politicians. I wrote, career politicians.
Toleration and impatience needs to change to patience. Understanding the facts that you've shared, sheltered, loss of spouse, no real adult interaction outside of her religious activities. She may be feeling rejected but still trying to make a connection with you both. Ask what's happening in her life to show some interest. It doesn't have to be a common interest of yours, remember that it's not about you. I see this as being twofold getting her to talk about herself will also help her self-esteem and cut down on her questions.
Well, like her brother, the SIL really isn't interested in our lifestyle/interests and I found that out after I met her after meeting my wife. She could easily live in the middle of Los Angeles as a "big city girl" and we definitely couldn't/wouldn't. When I first met my wife, she was in the planning stages of moving to Laughlin, Nevada. She changed that when I told her about Colorado. IOW, she was tired of living so close to her family. As far as "the loss of her spouse" goes, they had a very rocky relationship/marriage. Nothing physical, but definitely complaining on his part about things she did. When he got fairly sick, she didn't want to be a Nurse for him and he didn't want her help. She does "make a connection" with both of us, but the questions simply come out too much.