I thought of this when I read a post that Lon had written, but what I had to say would have taken his off-topic so I'll just start a more generic marriage thread, one that can be used to discuss anything related to marriage, except perhaps for those that have a more specific topic. I have been happily married for just over twenty years. I'm glad that I did that and I wouldn't change a thing. However, I was forty-eight years old before I was married. Prior to that decision, I didn't feel deprived for having not been married early in life, as most people do. I had raised a son - not mine by blood, but he was my son, so I had done that and enjoyed the experience very much. Being single, I was free to take chances and to make changes because they felt right, such as changing occupations because I was bored with what I was doing, despite the fact that it may have paid well. As a result, I have been able to do things that I considered to be important, and which added a great deal to my life experiences. When I decided to become a paramedic, that involved a huge drop in pay from what I was earning in the paper bag industry. The bag company I was working for at the time is still in business so I would have been able to retire from it with a pension. While I eventually was able to increase my income in EMS by becoming an EMS director and program chairman of the EMT department at a state college, the initial cut was large. Then, I left the college after six years because I missed actually doing patient care, and wanted to try my hand at being a co-owner of a private ambulance company. I never recouped my investment in that one, but it added another six years of interest to my life. As far as occupations go, there is no doubt that I look back on my experiences as a paramedic and related EMS fields as being the most substantial and interesting, and I don't know if I could have done that if I had been married. Plus, throughout the years of my life, I have been able to work as a youth minister, an interim pastor at a few different churches, as a Boy Scout leader, and to live in varied parts of the country. Since I have been married, my wife and I raised a nephew from the age of 12 to 18, but I have never had any children of my own. Actually, I hate the wording of that because I did feel as if my son was my son, and vice versa, but I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had married in my twenties and raised a family in the normal way. There's no point in regrets and regret isn't really what I am feeling. It's more of a looking back and wondering, what if? Then again, a lot of people who married young, had children and then divorced, so I'm kind of glad that I am not looking back and wondering about that situation.
Well, that would be me. I married young (18) and had two sons from that marriage. The marriage didn't last and we parted civilly, not wanting our sons to be stressed any more than necessary by the split. I was single a couple of years then met my current spouse; we have been married over 30 years now. Many times I have wondered how things would have been if my first husband and I had worked harder to save our marriage, but that will remain a mystery. Both my husbands are fine men and good fathers, so I suppose I was extraordinarily lucky in that regard.
Met my wife in high school. MY brother had been trying to get her to go out on a date for quite a while. She finally agreed but said he had to supply a date for her best friend. I was the date to be supplied. On the night of the date she informed him that they were going to switch. I would get her and he would get the BFF. Long story short after high school my brother joined the Air Force in 1956. judy and I were engaged as well as my brother and the BFF. Judy and I hoped to get married in 1960 and had begun planning for that. My brother at the time was stationed in Iceland and I was going to college. Well early in 1959 he writes and says he's coming home and is going to be stationed in California. He asks if we could move our wedding date to 1959 and he would get married the week after us. Well we did. Judy and I have been together since June 13, 1959, MY brother's wife died in 1992 and he died in 2004. Judy's older sister also married 3 weeks after us and she died in 2005 and he in 2014.
We had four boys and wanted a girl so we'd started thinking of adoption. Meanwhile Harvard University released a study concerning how to influence the sex of your baby. It was all about timing. I readit practiced it and we had a girl. Sadly athis point the girl and outr youngest son are no longer with us.
Married very young the first time. Managed to have two girls and had to raise them myself as we divorced. He was a thief and could not stay out of trouble. I stayed single a long time- by choice. I met my second husband the year I turned 42 - he was 36. He was suppose to be a one night stand, lolol ( his mom loved this when I told her one day). He kept on showing up, but I was not going to get attached to him ! Well that was 29 years in August and he has been a wonderful husband. He is everything i am not- I am everything he is not. We are like a fine tuned balanced scale. Being older than , he and having been um, more worldly than him- I knew we needed to discuss everything in detail before being married. My girls were grown and gone, he had one child age 4. I was losing my hearing early on and he was blind as a bat. I asked him what will we do when we are older and I cant hear and you cant see? You lead, and I will follow. And that is pretty much how it has gone early on. We both have a very good sense of humor and that alone makes us great together. He has said many times- I wish i could of met you when we were younger. OOOH no, trust me, be glad you did not. I am like a fine wine, with age I have mellowed
First, never had a girlfriend or married when I was in the Navy. Nope, wasn't going to leave on a Westpac Cruise to Vietnam and leave a girlfriend or wife behind. I seen a Sailor "jump ship" as it was pulling away from the pier in San Diego. His pregnant wife was on the pier waving "goodbye" in tears. Married when I was 26, Annulled less than a year later. She fell for my EMS uniform! She was from a very upper-class family and I sure wasn't. Anyway, got back together less than a year after the Annulment, she got pregnant and we married again. A few months after having my daughter, she met another guy, had her mom help her move out of our apartment and into her mom and dad's very, very nice home. I was at work when this move happened. Divorced happened a year later. I was single/divorced for 22 years and really did hate it. I was the "marrying" type. During those 22 years, met different ladies, but nothing worked out. Then, in early 2000, I placed a Personal Ad in a local magazine, my wife answered it and a year later we were married. She had everything that other women I had met didn't.........wearing Western clothes (including a cowboy hat), very high interest in rodeo and farming/ranching. Funny, but she was raised in a small city in Michigan, no where near any farms. She was also the "marrying" type, and like myself, had been married twice before. We both love married life and this coming March will be 20 years. Heck, I've never done anything for 20 consecutive years! LOL
I had been married for 32 years when my wife died of Pancreatic Cancer. It was a great marriage and I liked being married. I wanted to meet some one and marry again. Friends and family all had prospects for me to meet but I was determined to find the right woman on my own. I love to dance and went to several dances sponsered by the Singles Club that I had joined. The Club sponsered a Night At The Zoo which was a real experience. Some of the ladies that I met and was introduced to should have been in cages themselves. I enjoyed the Margaritas and hors d' oeuvres provided by the Singles Club but just didn't click with any ladies. I hadn't retired yet, that would come six years later and I continued on my own looking for the right lady and dating several. I was introduced to the right lady my her daughter who happened to be my Massage Therapist.
I've got high school classmates, from graduation 1968, that married in the mid 70's, and are still married.
I met my wife when we were both math teachers, so we had a lot in common. We fell for each other and married 3 months later in a whirlwind romance. (we never spent a day apart after we met - that was 52 years ago) I used to kid with my class on the first day (when I called the roll and we got to know each other) that I married because I wanted someone I could do a couple of calculus integrals with just for fun before bedtime. They were sure I was crazy after that. Hey, its better to learn that early, even if there was a lot of scoffing. Boy, I miss those days.
My son married a girl he dated in high school. He's 56 now, their sons are adults, and they're still happily married.
Well, from the time we started living together for a year, and were engaged that entire year (her wearing an engagement ring), right to now, we've only been apart when both of us worked and I had my hip replacement. Our boat doesn't hit the water, unless she is on it. Never/ever go to the shooting range without her. Currently, the only time we are apart is when I get a haircut. The rest of the time, we are (sort of) connected at the hips! There are those that detest that kind of marriage, but we find it just fine for us. Have never believed in "Boys/Girls Night Out" or anything like it.
It's so good to see when two people are agreeable and have a harmonious life. My neighbor and her partner even wear the same colors when they r together!. This is every reason for a long and happy life together.
I’m on my second time round after spending 12 years single , I was far to busy raising my children till they were teens to worry about looking for Mr right . I met my hubby in 1986 ,we married in 1987 it’s amazing we survived this long due to long term interference of his first wife while his kids were young and long time after his kids had grown up ..but we have and we enjoy our life together.
I met my first husband in college. All we could afford were basement apartments in Milwaukee. My father said we were so happy we didn't realize how miserable we were. Finally moved to Fond du Lac, WI as he got a job as a physicians assistant, I got a job milking cows with my college degree. ( My father was NOT happy about that).. We were still poor and so happy. Michael died three months after the birth of our daughter, from asthma, at a different job. I would not recommend that situation. Anyway, three years later I met my present husband, a kind generous man. We have two more daughters. We are boring, always on an even keel and have been together for 42 years. And he let me get a farm close to our house! He said he would help with it but doesn't. Which is OK. It is MY heaven. No, I take that back. There was one day in 11 years that I lay in bed late with the flu or food poisoning or something. He came in and asked if I was going to go take care of the animals. I said, "No. just let them die." I guess that was his cue that I was sick so he went and fed and watered. God bless him. ; )
I have been married for 42 years now, which someone here on SOC called "a life sentence". and have two daughters aged 32 and 37. I was kind of forced to marry due to circumstances. No, not pregnancy but failing that we wouldn't have got a reasonably decent apartment but would have had to live in one of those many totally run-down houses without any modern cons. There might even have been the possibility of only getting a job in desolated and heavily polluted regions. Look at China and India these days. So marriage was not really a free choice but young people were kind of nudged in that direction. I wouldn't have needed it but didn't want to pay the price. OTOH, divorce was no big issue but, again, you wouldn't have a reasonable apartment. The housing shortage due to war and economic inability was catastrophic. None of my daughters is married and that's fully in line with the majority of young people of their generation.