Sounds more like depression and rightfully so. So sorry for all your losses. That is a long time to be together to just uproot and start over. Please stay in contact with us. What you are going thru needs much attention.
First let me say I'm 77 years old . Our separation is a mutual agreement that we made, we also agreed never to divorce. She had a terrible year last year medically, three major operations two within a week of each other and she'll tell you she's very grateful how I stayed by her and helped as much as I could. 1 doctor told me if I didn't call emergency when I did she'd be dead, 1 hour after they got her to the hospital she had emergency surgery. she was septic and had peritonitis because she had a perforated colon. she was fighting me about going to the hospital, I called emergency because she was having a rapid decline. she's had a colostomy, a failed reversal, another colostomy. a total of 30 days in the hospital with five of them in intensive care. with two of her stays I was not allowed to visit, because of Covid. that's stress I believe led to some of our difficulties. The problem is Communications she feels I try to be too controlling almost like being a micromanager, I think I'm making suggestions or describing how it was done on YouTube trying to be helpful. Many times she miss interprets what I said and how I said it, because she has hearing problems. So because of some major arguments over minor differences, we decided to take a breather. I still visit the house nearly every day to see how she's doing and to take care of maintenance on the property, I also get a chance to see my dog Tia. My daughter her husband and my three grandkids ages 3 , 5 , 6 live in the apartment on the house, so my wife is never alone. They have two dogs, one is the Pug whose picture is on another tread. part call my problem is I over analyze, which can lead to disagreements. the good news is we're hoping to resolve this and be back together somewhere in the future. until then loneliness will probably stay with me on occasion, especially the nights. I think I've said enough you have a general idea what's been going on here, there are more stress factors, I'll save them for another time.
Tony, as soon as things can be worked out, you and her get back together. The sooner the better. I truly understand your feeling, and hope and pray wife and I never/ever have to go thru what you and your wife have. Ever thought about talking to a professional about your situation? Forum members can give you advice, but we aren't educated professionals.
We talked about getting help unfortunately right now she will not go out except the doctors, or for the vaccine. Except for when we buy online I've been doing all the shopping, I take pretty good precautions against Covid. She's just now getting used to the right combination of her apparatus, she will not go back for another attempt at a reversal, the last one was really a bad disaster. I guess I'm going to be supportive until she Settles into a routine then we'll talk about getting back together,she should be calmer. I try to keep our conversations positive, so far it's been working it has been less stress between us.
Tony, if she won't go, why not you by yourself? There are a lot of couples out there that, one won't go for any kind of help, but the other did. Sometimes a person simply can't wait for the spouse to decide to go. But, getting this help is entirely up to you. Some couples try to work things out for themselves. Sometimes that works and other times it doesn't.