Being a 50-year widow this isn't a personal concern, but it is a concern for some of my friends that have blended families. It is one of those things you don't think about when you tie the knot the second time. One group of kids is going to get cheated. Spent it all while you are alive is my advice or at least spend your half. It makes no difference whether you want your spouse to remarry or not, he will do as he pleases. Very sorry you have to think about this at this time, but it is a concern and there is no simple answer. I know one couple that settled the issue by getting divorced and each having their own place and control over their share. They each own a side of a duplex and still share meals and family get-togethers. Neither cares to have another relationship as long as the other is alive. They consider themselves to still be married in the eyes of God but divorced for the eyes of the law. I can't think of one case in a blended family that has worked out to the satisfaction of everyone. Even in non-blended families, the kids will fight for "their fair share" which usually is one kid feeling more entitled. Inheritance is ugly and brings out greed and shows one's true character.
@Beth Gallagher - I am sorry honey, but your happy ass is not gonna die anywhere soon - you got too many post s to make
I plan on cremation and having my ashes put in an hourglass and willed to my bestie so I can still be included in her family game night.
There was a comedian who said that when he dies, he wants to be cremated so his friends can go around throwing his ashes in the faces of those he disliked: "Faye says 'Hi!'" *cough* B.O.T. I have no idea if that comedian was married and wanted his spouse to make someone else miserable find love after he was gone.
Thanks for the welcome @Beth Gallagher. Actually, I think this topic is quite interesting and I like the personality you put into writing it. Would be disappointed to not see more of your random threads.
Thanks, Faye. I will admit that this thread was just a random thought; I pretty much know that my husband will do whatever he feels is right when the time comes. Due to a lifetime of hard work, good investments, and pure luck, we are fairly well-off financially and there's not much to "spend it all" on because we're at the age where we have everything we need and most of what we want... except HEALTH, of course. So there's a significant amount of investments that could really make a difference in the kid's lives, or send grandchildren to college, etc. Since we met and married when the children were very young (2, 3,4, 6,9), we have not seemed like a "blended" family as we are all very close. When I met him he had a toddler hanging onto each leg and a baby in his arms; his wife had deserted them a year earlier leaving him to be Mr. Mom. I said "that's the man for me!" (Plus he looked really good in those jeans. ) The children all grew up to be such great young people and each of them is "mine." So my concern is not about fairness between the kids, but some 50-year old replacement hoochie spending their money!!! My husband will inherit a significant amount from his mother one day, but I don't believe that should be included in the "split 5 ways" but should go to his children. (Hmmmm, maybe he could spend that on his new wife!! ) I totally agree with this statement... "It makes no difference whether you want your spouse to remarry or not, he will do as he pleases." That is exactly as it should be. I'd never attempt to control his life from beyond the grave anymore than I control his life now. It is his life, after all. I just want to control the money...HAHA.
@Beth Gallagher Yes, a new woman might be attracted to money. He sounds like a great guy and maybe all the kids will help steer him in a good direction should he outlive you. There is also the possibility that you will outlive him. Once you get through this poisoning and surgery, you will be stronger than ever. Yes, lots of thoughts come into the mind when battling cancer. Glad you share them here and hopefully relieve some stress. I hope you are feeling better today and feel better with each coming day before you run the gambit again. If the Pharoh takes me out, I am going out as a babe.
Well, I'm planning on being here for a little while longer, so I'll have more time to ponder this situation. I'm happy to say that none of our children need any money; they are all settled with their own lives, careers, and families. So it's of little consequence in the grand scheme of things. If the hubby decides to let it all ride on the craps table in Vegas there's not much I can do about that, either.
Currently debating between burial in a mushroom suit that turns remains into fungi food or in a capsula mundi from which a tree would grow.