I saw one of my resident neighbor widows crying in our lounge and I asked her what was wrong. She said her children want her to move out on the 28th and she did not want to move. She said her husband left her substantial life insurance plus a producing farm with home. Her children did not like what she pays in rent and care fees each month. She is 74 and her husband died of a brain tumor last January.
It could be that the kids know that she is going to run out of money at the rate it's being spent but, on the other hand, it could be that the kids would rather save her money for themselves rather than spend it on a care facility for their mother. There are probably some other alternatives, as well, but these are the ones that I can think of off-hand.
She is not going to run out of money. It would appear the kids are looking out for themselves. This is a common occurrence here in my facility.
Well I hope she has a good Lawyer and has not signed away her rights to make her own decisions to any of her children. My children know better than to try to make decisions for me! Maybe it is expensive to live where you live Lon...but if your lady friend can afford it and she's happy there...then her children should be happy for her and not trying to run her life.
I had a relative (great aunt, I think, but I have never understood extended family relationships) who had a stroke, and was placed in a nursing home after a hospital stay. Her son, who was a realtor (and a real jerk) sold her house, not expecting that she would ever leave the nursing home. However, not only did she recover but she recovered fully, and had to sue her son for the money he got from selling her house. I wasn't privy to the details of the lawsuit, except to know that there was one, and she was the recipient of a nice settlement. She spent the next 20-25 years driving around the country visiting relatives who had moved from Michigan, driving across the country several times. She visited me a few times while I was in Texas, not because I was special, but because she had a daughter who was a missionary in Mexico and also had a home in McAllen, as well as a couple of grandchildren in McAllen. She did eventually have another stroke, and she had it while she was in Texas, and lived the rest of her life in what I think was the only decent assisted living and nursing home facility, or perhaps they were decent to her because she had family who visited regularly. I would stop in and see her often because, by then, I was working as a paramedic and training coordinator for the ambulance service that covered McAllen.
Maybe she can find a good lawyer? An estate lawyer or someone like that who can write her a good letter to the family? That way, if they had to contest her mental stability to make her move, they would know that they had to PAY THEIR OWN lawyer to get at what she has. Her lawyer could go over her will, too, if she were up to fighting more. Sadly, I have a friend with a mental deficit which may eventually require special care and her 'wants' may not count so much. But when she first called me, I drew a lawyer like a gun!
We don't have to worry about what children and/or grandchildren say..........we haven't got either. We are in-charge of each other and that's that.
If she is of sound mind she needs to tell "the kids" to get the hell out of her business. (She could follow up with an "or else you will be disinherited.") As long as I am of sound mind, NO ONE will run my show except ME. This type of situation is totally dependent upon the individuals and the mental state of the parent. My MIL is showing signs of dementia and she happily added my husband to her financial accounts, power of attorney, etc. to handle things that confuse her. He would never do anything to make his mother unhappy, though.
Well the ol " my kids would never to that to me " is where the problem comes from. And the reason why my kids will never do that to me without a court order. I just told one last month when she informed me of a place on theirs. She nor the SIL will control what happens to me. Seen too much from other trusting parents.Other daughters life is wrpped up in her grandkids she is raising and son lives in Texas.All say I won't go to a home but thats because they forgot how troubleson I can be, I keep telling hubby how we need a plan B for the future. No wonder so many elders are living on the road now.Who can we trust. My friend says she doesen't want to be a burden on her kids well I have a feeling thats one worry she can erase off her list of worries. I'm not saying it will happen just see how society has changed so has people.
We arem't financially independant so we could be up the ol creek so need to make some plans. I got a hospital bed last year ,its ok for the money and tried to get oxigen condenser but have to have a script to buy the thing.Dr said no script unless we can't breath well why do all hospitals have them then ,he just wants to push his meds and visits.
Without getting into details, my mother was not a nice person. That being said, when she was living, most of us (there are 6 kids) told her to go enjoy herself. We told her to go spend her money. She went back to England a few times to visit her relatives and we told her to take the Concord...she wasn't wealthy but she could afford an every-year-or-two splurge like that. Most of us were not fixated on maximizing "our inheritance." I've done home repairs working with a non-profit, and have seen some really, really nice elderly people treated like dirt by their own adult kids and grandkids. This whole Nature/Nurture thing fascinates me: -Nice kids come from nice families -Nice kids come from nasty families -Nasty kids come from nice families -Nasty kids come from nasty families I don't sense a theme.
A lot of people got them 'free' from medicare and are now selling them on craigslist. You can OD on O2. but probably not the home condensers.
Such a sad situation. There are lawyers that specialize in elder law, but you have to be careful with them and closely watch what they do. My mother's lawyer was disbarred for taking advantage of / ripping off his clients. We found that out after her death when we tried to reach him. I don't think she was one of his victims, but it was pretty disturbing to learn about that.
Yes they told me oxygen could be dangerous if used improperly .We don't need it now but figured we may later since we both smoked and have COPD.