Valeri Bertinelli was body shamed on social media recently. She was in tears as she tried to defend herself on the media site. I am mad that anyone is shamed for their weight- big or small. Many people assume that being overweight indicates they over eat and skinny means they do not eat enough. Untrue. Many different circumstances play a role in our body weight. When I got sick last year, I was gaining weight for no real reason, and I was miserable. Then without reason dropped over 50 pounds ! Turns out the auto immune disease I came down with was the culprit. One year later I have gained 20 of the lost pounds back. This puts me back to My original weight. I feel better and look healthier than with the 50 pound loss. I could rant on with this and claim this or that , but it really is about being bullied and shamed by others for something that is not always in your control. I could turn this into a 20 page ...well anyway not going to do that. However if you have been shamed or bullied in your life because of weight, what are your thoughts?
Well, when I enlisted in the Navy in May 1968, I weighed 98 pounds at 6 foot. IOW, I was really skinny, with very short hair (crewcut style). I was somewhat teased, but nothing like the bullying that is done today. Unfortunately, there are those that the public deems "not normal" that will be teased. Whether it's weight, hair style/color or whatever. Seems like many, many people tease the Kardashians on how they look. At one time, actor John Goodman was very heavy, but now looks too thin. Roseanne Barr lost weight, for whatever reason. Melissa McCarthy is heavy, but like Roseanne was in her tv show, the looks goes with who they are. People get teased/bullied for things they like. Just ask me about rodeo, having been a part of it and being called a "goat roper".
I agree, whatever your body shape, no one should bully another whether or not it is under one's control. Social media just sets one up for the bullies and mean sad sick people. Some choose to be obese and others anorexic and that personal choice doesn't give anyone license to bully them. I choose to be healthy which requires me to be more fit than if I didn't have back damage and nerve disorder. I have the same body shape as my mother, grandmother, great grandmother, and back to great great great. My inverted triangle, skinny, scrawny, less curvy, shape did lead to some bullying in 8th grade when I wasn't developing breasts or hips as fast as were other girls, but nothing a couple of bloody noses didn't stop. Being a strong working ranch girl had its benefits. I was overweight due to nerve medication during my early 60s and all the extra 60 lbs went to my belly making me look like I was pregnant. No one bullied me but I did get some judgemental looks. Finally, a specialist figured out it was the medication, so once off the meds and after 3 years of exercise and diet change, I got my waist and abdomen back somewhat. My bout with cancer took off another 24 lbs making me look sickly and feel horrible. Gaining weight was harder than losing it. I am finally at a comfortable weight but staying here requires a diet routine, a daily workout, and walking several miles.
Well, I sort of disagree. Body shaming has been going on for years upon years. To thin, to heavy. People are plainly not going to stop teasing/bulling just because others don't like it. A mother is teased, because she wants to look like her "hot" looking daughter. Her daughter has no problem getting dates, but the divorced mother sure does. Actually, wife and I laughed together about a young lady that was at the rodeo Hall of Fame Induction. She was wearing high heels and a dress that could be seen at a very expensive restaurant in Los Angeles. All wife and I could think of was "does this lady know what she is attending?" A person can wear, or look, the way they want to, but there will be others that will think "huh????". I mentioned to my wife how Sofia and Heidi look on America's Got Talent. Good show, but both look like Hollywood Call Girls.
Well, being judgmental and bullying someone is different. The discussion here is body weight, size, and shape, not how one is dressed and not what is appropriate for rodeo dressing. What is appropriate dressing for age, shape, height, weight, and occasion would be a topic for another thread. The question posed by Gloria was: "If you have been shamed or bullied in your life because of weight, what are your thoughts?"
Maybe teasing about somebodie's weight will always be around as it has always been but I disapprove of the practice. Why people are teased I could speculate on but it is really over my head. I don't know what the teaser gets out of it other than to make him or her self look better in some aspect.
I don't know what to say, other than, to me, it all fits under the same topic. IOW, I can't change young people from getting numerous tattoos and/or body piercings. Just like you, and others, can't change people from teasing or bullying others. Just too much of it goes on today and nobody can stop it. Just another problem with today's society.
@Faye Fox What makes you think people choose to be fat or thin? People do not chose to be this way, However people can become weary of trying to gain or lose, so they just maintain at best. Sorry Faye, just trying to understand how you could believe people chose fat or thin, like trying to pick a color. @Cody Fousnaugh - she is right the thread is about weight. Not hair color, tattoos or things that people actually choose to do with their appearance. My own mother use to laugh and giggle at me after my girls were born, because I had gained weight. However she was no model figure either. Like many I have fought it all my life. Times I was thin other times not so much. Unfortunately, some people that are over weight, do not carry the weight well. For instance women with saddle bag thighs. Oh the bully these poor women have had to over come. Just wanted to see how many of us have had the pain of being ridiculed by others for our weight.
Sorry, Gloria, you and Faye are right. Your thread is about bullying about weight. Anyway, I have seen numerous skinny and heavy people and, yes, many in the public automatically think that it's due to either not eating or overeating. The public doesn't consider, or want to consider, that meds or something else besides food has done this. All they see is either a very skinny woman or a very heavy woman and must comment negative about the looks. Now, however, a person will really wonder when they see a person who weighs 300, 400 or even 500 pounds. Like the tv show where the star is really, really heavy, as in 500 pounds. When you hear about a person, of very heavy weight, dying and being buried in something huge, a person will, again, really wonder "how did this person get this way and not lose or gain the weight they needed?"
Well, yes those cases are a bit different. That is only my thought. I do not think they chose to be that way, yet at some point lost their will to find an answer.
I know several overweight women that have told me they like the way they are. They could make changes to be less weight but chose not to. No one chooses how they are born, DNA, metabolism, etc., but many do have a choice whether they are thin or heavy. What we eat, how we exercise, and medications have a great bearing on weight control. Our metabolism has a great bearing on weight and there are many things that can be done to either speed up or slow metabolism in a healthy way. However, what anyone chooses to do is not a license for others to bully howbeit just critical words such as, "Well you could do better if you wanted." While that may be true, I am a firm believer that people should be allowed to do as they want as long as they aren't hurting or burdening others. It doesn't matter to me if one can do better or if they have a disorder that is difficult or impossible to control, no one deserves to be bullied. Just my opinion.
Another thing, I've always liked a more "pleasing plump" lady. My wife was like that when I met her and, somewhat, still is. When I was single/divorced, the guys I knew always wondered "why is he looked at fat ladies?" Well, to me they weren't fat, but simply "pleasing plump". I was never attracted to a skinny lady. Way to many other guys looking at her. I have noticed in this thread, how replies are saying, "no one deserves to be bullied", but then again, just how do we stop this from happening??? Really good question, huh?
@Gloria Mitchell "However if you have been shamed or bullied in your life because of weight, what are your thoughts?" I am fortunate to have maintained a trim body weight all my life, with little effort or attention paid to it, and have in old age the same weight as when in my 20s. Always seemed to exercise away those extra calories gained from happy overeating, and just ate less when I became less physically active. So never experienced many remarks about my weight, or appearance. Except when in the 8th. grade, I sustained second degree burns to my face, and was ridiculed about my appearance by school mates when I returned to class. That was definitely a mentally discouraging experience. Frank
@Frank Sanoica - wow sorry to hear that! You are most fortunate in your weight maintaining. I still think it odd that with all science has accomplished in the last hundred years, they still can not cure the common cold or find a solution to weight gain .
@Faye Fox I see your point more clearly I think now. There is an overweight actress named Monique who claims she had no intention of losing weight. Was an interview she did few years back. According to her the fat around her stomach put he son thru college. She pointed out that other fat areas of her body is what had gotten her through Hollywood, by acting. A skinny version of herself, is not what They wanted. Most women I think would prefer to be of normal weight. And overweight men are more accepted in society than women.