I'm sorry for your loss, Chrissy. Losses can be particularly difficult when there are family divisions. At least you heard about it and were able to read the post via your daughter. May he rest in peace, and at least he is with his daughter now.
Thanks Diane and although there is a family rift, my mother was mentioned as his Beloved sister in the funeral home obit. Although right now we can't tell my mother about him dying, that would have made her happy. My sister is sending flowers in my mothers name.
That's nice. I hope your mom improves and is strong enough to be told. I hate the idea of keeping things from people, but sometimes it's necessary. It's good that they mentioned her, at least, and I'm sure they will appreciate the flowers. There's actually a thread here somewhere (probably in this section) about family rifts. I know both @Corie Henson and I have posted in it. It seems to be common in many families, and is a shame, because we can never get the lost time back.
@Diane Lane , yes, it's very sad. That's what hurts me the most, the lost time. My mom isn't going to get better, maybe slightly and is very fragile now. Consensus is she is never coming off the vent. She isn't in pain and is comfortable and is allowed soft food so it doesn't go down the wrong pipe but we can't take the risk of how hearing the news that her brother died would affect her. Maybe later but not now for sure. My sisters and I have been group texting these last few days and none of us can really even remember what the rift was about, just that it involved the evil witch, his wife.
Those are the worst kind, when you can't even recall the issue. I'm glad she's not in pain and is comfortable. She knows y'all love her, and at least she can eat some soft food. It does sound as if it's better to not tell her. It's good that at least you and your sisters are together on the issue, and there's a consensus about how to proceed. We had a similar situation with my grandmother and one aunt turned that into the most stressful situation with the courts involved, etc., so at least hopefully the fact that y'all are of the same mind can bring you some comfort.
Yes, all 4 siblings are on the same page concerning my mother. My youngest sister has power of attorney and has had it for a long time with my mom. My mom moved in with her about 16 yrs ago. They eventually built a wing on to the house for her.
Thanks Linda, a set back yesterday for my mom. She wasn't swallowing properly and so now they will give her one of those tubes that goes directly into the stomach, forget what they are called.
Oh Chrissy, my heart is with you. There is nothing I can say to ease any of it for you, but to say I'm here.
Thanks Ina! My sister says my mom is very anxious, she is given small doses of xanax but when your main issue is your lungs it's a balancing act. My sister said she gets morphine sometimes if her back hurts. Her back never hurt, so must be from being in bed all day or her muscles weakening.