B. Franklin Or... To Break Wind Should Smell As Sweet

Whether old or young, we all do it and to be honest, all things living have done it since the dawn of time.
It’s natural. It’s often a relief but a topic of ill consideration in civilized society.

Ben Franklin, a philosopher, scientist, inventor, statesman, published writer and the oft freaky person that he was, had a tendency to be quite humorous but bold with his ministrations.
The following is such a piece that he wrote as an inquiry as to how best treat flatulence in such a manner as to make it acceptable and even favored among friends and family alike.

Behold: A testament to B. Franklin’s incessant but more adventurous ventures for the betterment of mankind:
FART PROUDLY by B. Franklin

https://www.wheelersburg.net/Downloads/Franklin3.pdf

 

Yeah, I think he wrote that to get a rise out of the establishment of his day.

 

More or less as a jab at the Royal Academy of Science. Though it was never submitted, it was his answer to the Academy’s challenge to the science community for scientific papers.
Apparently he thought those belonging to the Academy of Science were rather droll and pretentious ergo his bit of displeasure with that academy was displayed in the way of his essay.
Note: As I wrote, the essay was never submitted but it WAS sent to Richard Price, a Unitarian Minister in London.

Note 2: Ben also wrote: Beer is proof that God loves us. He wants us to be happy.

 

I have often thought about the ramifications of making the turkey our national bird as Ben suggested.
Eagles in general are birds of prey and whilst preferring it’s own fresh kill will resort to scavenging a meal.
Turkeys are peaceful and prefer grain, berries and bugs but will eat almost anything like snails and such.

Dunno. Whilst I do love the magnificence of the Bald Eagle and have a kinship with them in that I too love a good steak and have killed to get one, the idea of loving peace and having an emblem that represents peace is tempting.

Alas, the two weights on the scale that tip them toward the Eagle are that Eagles are territorial and do not put up with crap whilst the Turkey can die just looking up during a deluge of rain.

Oh yeah. From what I hear, the American Bald Eagle, (not unlike the California Condor) has extremely stringy meat and would not do well at Thanksgiving.

 

Since I can’t fathom the idea of vegan Eagles, what would the good keeper of said Eagles feed them?
And, can you imagine the President pardoning an Eagle? Saith the Eagle, “ I don’t need no stinking pardon, I want to go kill something”.

 

Tons of eagles here, and they survive by scavenging, although they do catch fish when they can, and I think that is their preferred diet. Wild turkeys are quite smart, and even the bronze domestic turkeys are pretty bright. The only stupid ones are the broad-breasted white turkeys that are generally raised for Thanksgiving. While the heritage and wild turkeys are a little tougher than domestic ones, the flavor is much better. One of my old friends, who is the best hunter I have ever known, says that he finds turkey hunting the only challenge left for him. He has fed his family for decades on wild game and also had a charter fishing business.

 

The Green New Deal will probably put Turkeys on the list of things farmers shouldn’t raise. They pass gas too and if we eat enough and quickly enough, we get gas which doubles the threat to climate change.

 

I wonder what Ben Franklin, the scientist and philosopher, would say about global warming?

 

Eagles can be scavengers. I saw one in the middle of the road once with his eye on some road-kill. I had to slow down or hit him.

They were re-introduced in PA after DDT was banned and have done well. The first I saw was over the river as it swooped down on a good sized carp with a screech and laboriously flew with it to the opposite shore to dine.

Turkeys I have flushed out of trees early in the morning while hunting them and they make quite a commotion doing so.