Sometimes parents and grandparents simply cann't believe what their daughter/granddaughter or son/grandson does after high school graduation. Well, our one great niece sure changed when she got out of high school. Enlisted in the Army, and, as she told us "mainly to get free va medical benefits in and out". She got peer-pressure from other female/male soldiers to get a tattoo. So, she got one of two horses running. She completely grew up around western riding and had a horse of her own, and still does. Now she has multiple ones. Shortly after graduation, she met a guy and they ended up getting married, but shortly later, got an annulement. Then, after enlisting in the Army, met a soldier, married him and a year or so later, divorce. Then, somewhere, met a young lady, her age, that is a lesbian. Came home on Army Leave and told her mom "I think I'm Bi-Sexual". Well, she wound up marrying the lesbian. Pretty shocking to her very "Christian minded" grandmother. Now, another great niece, who is temporarily living with her grandmother (my wife's older sister) while she is going to a Christian College, told her grandmother that she wants to get a small tattoo. Well, as most of you know, even a small tattoo can turn into numerous tattoos. Dear grandmother is shocked (to say the least). And, on top of that, she is getting (again) peer-pressure from her girlfriends to date a guy from the college or church. This great niece has never dated before, even in high school. Why? Don't know. Again, her grandmother is shocked and ask her not to. She told her, "your best bet is to keep 100% mind on college". Now, will dear old grandmother go into shock if her Christian granddaughter gets a tattoo and starts dating? Has this great-niece of ours told her parents about possibly getting a small tattoo and/or about dating a guy. We don't know. But, it sure is interesting how kids/grandkids can change once they graduate from high school and leave home!
We had 12 grand kids, one passed away when it was a baby. So far most have done well but 2 got into drugs bad. This is a new world now, the youth are paying the highest price. I don't have answers.
By the time they reach thirty, I think most people find that they are quite a lot like their parents, that is if they were actually raised by their parents. That becomes more so each decade after.
My kids have never done drugs or abused alcohol but they won't even take prescription drugs for nerves or depression. But the 2 daughters each have a daughter addicted to heavy drugs. They met boys who took drugs and were foolish enough to join in. The one in prison has 2 kids my daughter and her husband is raising. Other daughters left her 4 kids with her and her husband to raise, they have full custody too. The other 10 grands are doing fine. All the other kids are fine except one of the sons kids in Texas is on the lazy side but supports himself. Hopefully the rest stay clean.
I don't think either of my grandmothers (or fathers) worried that much what their grandchildren did. I don't say that in a bad way. They pretty much minded their own business with everybody. Both of them would have thought tattoos were just a waste of money. Neither of them were bossy or control freaks. They treated you like grown ups with your own life. I liked it that way. Many animals see their offspring as competitors as soon as they are mature. I don't see that in grandparents. Too much of an age gap I guess. But I have limited knowledge of this subject in general.
Mine didn't worry about them either they just took care of business and whipped up on some of that hinny if they were tearing up the place they got tore up. My great grand son [ who was 5 at the time my oldest great grandkid ] was tearing up a flower bed I spent lots of time and hard work building. Then he was slamming the doors off their hinges and looking at hubby and me with dirty looks. My daughter his granny just watched. I ask her if she was going to stop the kid or do I have to. She coped an attitude which led me to saying I whip his ass then yours if you don't like it. Enough disrespect is enough! I raised 3 good kids but sometimes they forget. But we talk now just not often.
We also know a guy who has two sons and both sons, and their families do great. Nice home, nice vehicle and darn good paying jobs. The father, who is a retired Engineer of Ford Motor Company made an excellent salary and really, really provided for his family/two sons. Both of his sons went to college and became Engineers themselves. The father and mother took their sons on Cruises and had all kinds of toys, lake front property in Michigan and Florida property only blocks from the ocean. Both sons are extremely down-to-earth and really provide for their families. But, it ALL took the money our friend made working for Ford.
So what's your point? I'd venture to guess that your "friend" educated himself and worked hard at engineering for Ford so he could provide a comfortable life for himself and his family. Pretty much the American Way, at least until the new welfare state takes over.
Well, when those that think money (salary) isn't a really big deal, there are those parents that can barely afford anything for their kids, even at Christmas. Our friend did work hard, not physically, but gave his wife and their two sons one terrific life and their two sons show just that. They studied hard and got nice Engineering Degrees and great paying jobs. I guess there are parents that can afford about anything for their kids, but once the kids leave home, sometimes (and note the word "sometimes") things can go downhill for the kids. They marry wrong, make the wrong friends or whatever. The parents and grand parents say "what happened??".
@Cody Fousnaugh Warning- just because something appears to be good, does not mean it is. Families harbor secrets and can put on the Airs to make things seem that all is well. Trust me, i know oh to well. We also know a guy who has two sons and both sons, and their families do great. Nice home, nice vehicle and darn good paying jobs. The father, who is a retired Engineer of Ford Motor Company made an excellent salary and really, really provided for his family/two sons. Both of his sons went to college and became Engineers themselves. The father and mother took their sons on Cruises and had all kinds of toys, lake front property in Michigan and Florida property only blocks from the ocean.
Its nice to see so many opinions on the subject about grand kids. My oldest great grand and my oldest daughter his grandmother both act like I don't exist most of the time. Especially the kid.
At least one of their parents anyway. I'm like my father and my brother is like our mother in attitude and temperament.
Well, what we do know, and was told, that the father had a great paying job and could afford everything they had. Lake-front property, boats, cars, a home in a very nice area outside of Detroit and a nice home in Florida. What we also know is that his wife, now deceased due to Lupis, absolutely loved to spend the money he earned. She was a "saver" on almost everything they had. She wouldn't let him get rid of anything, but now that she is gone, bags upon bags of her clothes/shoes were given to the Good Will and some just thrown out. He couldn't believe how many pairs of nice/expensive shoes she had. Many times, when he had to be in Michigan to work during the winter months, she would be at their Florida home kicking back on the beach. No doubt about it, and my wife would totally agree, she was a Trophy Wife. But, some 14 years ago, she was diagnosed with bad Lupus. Wouldn't see a doctor at all. Arthritis pretty much took over her entire body. And, on top of that, she thought her husband was cheating on her. Every phone call he would get, she would question him about it. Their marriage really took a hit, but didn't affect their sons and their marriages/families at all. Actually, my wife had been best friends with his wife since high school and they graduated together. Anyway, other than the last few years of their marriage, due to her death, they seemed happy, even though she continued to feel suspicious about an affair. The affair, we have no idea if he was or wasn't.