In one way or another everyone in society complains about something. But, I've not only read, but heard, "at my age (Senior), complaining is what I do best". Question is, why complain, when basically, nothing can be done concerning whatever is being complained about. IOW, we are a "Nation of complainers" at every age. There are those that will say "I have a right to complain" and those that will say "no you don't" about whatever. I find myself complaining about this, that and the other, but, in reality, can't really do a thing about my complaints. No matter what I see or hear, complaining about it does nothing, except, maybe, soothes my mind that I either said something out loud or in my mind. The word "complaining" goes back centuries upon centuries. So, just what do we, young and old, complain about: Gangs/guns/killings Heath concerns Cost of this or that A family member or husband or wife Kids, young and older today and the list goes on and on. Question is: Does anyone get tired of complaining and nothing changes???
Complaining takes the proverbial load off your mind. It allows you to ventilate, and feel as if, by bringing up something that's bothering you, you've made things better, for yourself. Everyone does it, so it must give some relief. After a good rant, I usually feel somewhat better
If you're willing to go beyond mere complaining, you can sometimes do something about the things that annoy you. Of course, that doesn't mean that you always should because, frankly, some people are too easily annoyed. First, I think that you need to evaluate whether this isn't something that could simply be ignored. As an example, let's consider a neighbor with a barking dog. You might complain to your wife, to your cats, or to whoever might be sympathetic to your case if that makes you feel better but, before you complain to your neighbor or, worse, take it a step further, you might consider whether this is something that you could simply live with, or get used to. If you decide that this is something that you can't live with, you might approach your neighbor. Keep in mind, however, that this step could lead to a feud that you might not be ready for. If there is anything that you do that your neighbor might be annoyed with, it's likely to come up. If not, your neighbor might be on the alert for something that he can be annoyed with. How you approach your neighbor, or whether you have already developed any kind of a relationship with your neighbor, might have an effect on the success or failure of this venture. If you've spoken to your neighbor and the neighbor refuses to do anything about the problem, you would have to consider whether you want to escalate it further by making a complaint to animal control or to the police. This might be something that it will take time for him to fix. At this point, once you've decided to complain, you're locked into a situation that probably won't go well for you. If your neighbor refuses to entertain your complaint, the challenge has been made. If you do nothing about it, he'll consider you to be a push-over, but if you go to the police, you'll be an enemy. That's why I wouldn't even take the first step on this one unless I knew my neighbor well enough to know that he probably wasn't aware that his dogs were annoying. Other situations can be acted upon, however. In Millinocket, there has been a long tradition of sounding the fire horn at 9:00 pm every night. Anyone who has lived here for any length of time isn't annoyed by that, and most people were hardly even aware of it until it was gone. Someone from out-of-state moved here and complained to a neighbor that the horn was annoying. The neighbor was a former town councilman and current code enforcement officer. He went into the town manager's office and, together, the two of them decided that there was no real reason for the 9:00 horn, so they disconnected it. People noticed it when it was gone, and someone organized a protest. Dozens of cars, trucks, and even an 18-wheeler, would meet in the high school parking lot at 9:00 pm and drive slowly through town, following a route that went past the homes of every member of the town council, the town manager, the town attorney, and the code enforcement officer, blasting their horns. The police chief and town attorney threatened to either arrest or sue the woman who organized the protest, but it continued. This was done every night for about two weeks until the horn came back. Not long afterward, but not solely because of this incident, the town manager and the police chief were fired. When the police chief sued over his termination, the town disbanded the town police department and contracted with neighboring East Millinocket for police services. When the code enforcement officer's contract was up, it was not renewed. Two complaints were acted upon, and we're back where we were before, but with a new town manager, a new code enforcement officer, and a different police department. It began with a horn that annoyed one person, but which many other people missed after it was shut off. More on topic, unless it makes you feel better complaining about something, there isn't any real reason for doing so if you're not willing to act upon your complaint. Like most people, probably, when something annoys me, I'm inclined to complain to someone about it, although not necessarily to the person who originated the annoyance. Since I've been married, however, I have learned that when I complain to my wife about something, she seems to think that I'm wanting her to do something about it. When there is nothing that she can do about it, she gets frustrated and, before I know what's going on, we're in a fight over something that had nothing to do with either of us. So I try not to complain unless it's something that I am willing to take to the next step. If the barking dog belonged to someone who I didn't like anyhow, or who had complained about something I had done in the past, I might act on it. Fortunately, I am rarely in such a position, so I would simply ignore the dog, and, as I did with the railroad trains that would go by the back of my house, I'd get used to them before long.
Saying what’s on your mind and declaring some sort of dissatisfaction can indeed be a release of sorts but if my memory serves me correctly, complaining can load us up with cortisol which is the same chemical that kicks in the “fight or flight” mode so it’s a two edged sword. The more complaining the more cortisol, the more cortisol the more tense and anxious we become which produces other chemical reactions none of which include the feel good chems like Serotonin and Dopamine. To be sure, a person can complain themselves into their grave which is why stress relief through meditation, exercise and yes, sex are of vital importance to our health. There’s another side of complaining which is the acted upon protests that we have. If we act upon our dissatisfaction and find favorable results then we can be rewarded with those nice feel good chemical reactions. Kinda like winning a fight in the ring. First we have a cortisol release and then after the win we get the shot of endorphins. All that said, constant complaining is one of the unhealthiest things we can do to ourselves.
Well, with the right apt. complex manager, complaints about something get done. In Florida, we complained about an outside A/C that was running loud. So loud, we couldn't have our patio door open to let some fresh air into the apartment. At first, the manager didn't do a thing, then I done a video, on my iPhone, of how loud the A/C was and had her listen to it in her office. She came outside, listened to it and had it fixed. No more loud noise! So, complaining and doing a video worked for us. Same Florida complex, we kept hearing a dog barking outside on a patio (2nd level) in the building next to ours. Owner put the dog out on the patio when he went to work. Again, resident not home when dog is barking. We told (complained) to manager about the dog barking. After that day, we no longer heard it barking. Why? The manager told the resident that he'd have to do something about the dog barking, so, the resident ended up getting rid of the dog. Guess that was the only solution the resident could come up with. Again, we told/complained to manager about the barking do and the barking stopped. Where we live now, due to new owners that want to keep their apartments here full, most complaints to the manager go undone. And, she has got complaints from both us and some other residents about whatever. Vehicles WERE being towed here due to outdated tags. A tow company, hired by the owners, would come into the complex at night, drive or walk around, to check tags and write down license plate numbers of those that were outdated. Apparently, a resident, who had their vehicle towed, contacted the owners of the complex, threatened them with legal action, so, the towing has stopped. There is a vehicle in the complex right now, that has a 20 (year) tag on it. So, depending on the situation, complaining about something can be good, like when we lived in Florida. But, when it does come to barking dogs in a regular apt. complex, all a manager (depending on the manager/owners), can/will say is: "this isn't a 55+/Retirement Complex. People here work and, when those people are at work, their dog/dogs might bark. Have to put up with it, or move." Which, basically, is true.
I've been around chronic complainers. Some people complain so as to avoid looking at their own issues, and to feel better about themselves, as if pointing out the faults of others means that they are superior. It's also a way of turning life disappointment outwards and projecting it on others. Complaining can be a healthy way to vent, or it can be an unhealthy was to stay "stuck."
I had a neighbor with a barking dog. I told them I was going to file a formal complaint with the city if they let their mutt keep waking me up, all night long. They did nothing. I filed the complaint, the dog disappeared. Problem solved!
Or, you could just be a horse's ass whose glass is always half empty. (That was the general "you," not YOU. )
There are some people who love any attention they can get, positive or negative. Being around them can be one of the most tiresome things.
When you say "the dog disappeared," is there a missing part of the story? 'Cause that's the passive tense. I won't say whether or not I have a tail tale to tell...
Well, some things can be complained about, like I stated in post #6, and the results are great, then there are things that people complain about where nothing can be done. When living in a apartment complex, many-to-most residents will have complaints of one thing or another. Now, depending on management and owners, their complaints will go on deaf ears, whereas with good owners/management, something will be done. Like we had in Florida. There simply certain things that are complained about where nothing can be, or will be, done. There are those that complain that Biden isn't sending any of our troops to the Ukraine to fight the Russians, but not thinking, or caring, one bit that could most definitely start WWIII. As long as only two countries are fighting, it will only be a war between them. Anyway, we have enough problems in "good old America" to take care of. The younger generation complains about how slow Senior drivers drive, but the Senior drivers won't speed up. Just like Senior drivers complain about how fast and wild the younger generation is driving, but the younger generation simply won't slow up and drive safe.
Yup. So maybe some day no one will ever get a tattoo or a piercing or fight in the apartment next door or put their trash where it don't belong or not be conversant in rodeos, and I'll be congratulating you.
Well, John, if some of us are lucky enough, the tattoo excitement will go away someday as well as the body piercing thing. Doubt it, but it could happen. The word "cool" was gone for years, but it's definitely back now. As far as the "trash" thing, when residents don't follow what the manager says, they can be evicted or lease not renewed. We've already heard of one young couple that had their lease not renewed because they constantly left their trash by their door, smoked cigarettes where ever they wanted and wasn't paying rent after the government rent moratorium ended.