I've said it before and I'll say it again... I like my stuff and I'm not giving it away because my children might or might not be "inconvenienced" when I die. I raised 5 teenagers and they owe me, big time.
A friend of ours, who is a widow now, after his wife died, he absolutely couldn't believe how much stuff she had saved. Actually, he did know, but she wouldn't get rid of anything, like clothes, shoes, etc.. After she passed, him and his one son, took garage bag after garbage bag of shoes/clothes to the curb for trash man to pick up. He asked his son's wives if they wanted anything and they said "no way, too old". He isn't the kind that would take the stuff to Goodwill or Salvation Army, but instead, just toss away. When my wife's mother died, it was the same way. Wife's sister had to get rid of a lot of stuff she had. Nobody in the family wanted any of it.
Well, yes and no. We've already, thru the years we've been married, got rid of a number of old and not-used anymore things my wife had before we met. Basically, I had very-little-to-nothing when we met. I never kept stuff, like she did. After talking to her about some of the stuff she had, we both decided certain things should go. Garage sales, Goodwill and Salvation Army. I don't remember us throwing anything away in the trash. So, without a doubt, we won't have the much when good Lord takes us. Unlike her mom and her girlfriend. I resist some when my wife doesn't want to get rid of something, or things, but at the end, I let her keep the stuff. She is a very sensitive person, when it comes to getting rid of some things.
One thing for sure Beth, she's not nearly as "tough" as you! I'm very glad of that. Actually, she is much more a "follower" than a "leader" and she found this out when she was a supervisor one time before I met her. She told me, "never again will I supervisor anyone. I just don't have that kind of personality." And, for what it's worth, Beth, I don't push around my wife, she simply understands my feelings about keeping too much stuff. Heck, Beth, neither of our families really understand our marriage. We love doing everything together. But, there are times, like when I go for a haircut, she will be at home working at her "at home" job. She has no girlfriends and I have no buddies and that is fine with both of us. We don't need any "my time/my space" at all. And, I've stated this somewhere in this forum. Boating, fishing, target range, grocery shopping or whatever, we do it all together.
Both Bobby and I probably would have to get rid of stuff if one of us dies, however, we both enjoy using the STUFF that we have collected , for the most part. I simply can’t imagine myself telling Bobby that he needed to get rid of any of his stuff, or him telling me to get rid of mine. We are independent people, and respect each other to make their own choices. Neither of us has the right (or the inclination) to presume to tell the other person what they can or can’t keep, and we will deal with whatever fallout happens when it happens. We both go through our own “collections” and decide what we no longer need, use, or want; but we only make those decisions for ourselves unless it is something that needs both of us to decide, and is not a personal thing.
Interesting take on this one, I guess, my parents had 3 children and when my sister and I had to clean out the 3 bedroom house, no picnic, she struggling with MS and me with OA and Fibro and my brother was MIA...always was.... I have only 1 child and 2 grands and don't want to leave t hem with my work and years of stuff....
Can't help but think about George Carlin and Our Stuff. https://www.google.com/search?q=Geo...0l4j0i390l3.9193j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
So much of our Stuff is pure and simple Junk. Reminds me of a friend and I'm trying to reach her and no reply, so at 89, she may be sick or even worse. But she saved clothes from Size 3 to 33 as she kept thinking she would get into the Size 3's again. She and her husband traveled the world and brought home artifacts from all their travels and honestly her house is like a museum/antique shop, so much STUFF all over. Her 2 60's adult children will have a picnic getting rid of all the stuff... I got rid of ALL the clothes I wore for 40 yrs of my work life.....no need for any of them now..... Cleaning out is Freedom.
My upstairs neighbor just passed away a few days ago, she was 74 and declining for some months...She had to find homes for her 2 dogs and was able to do that and now I hear her niece in FL is being asked to come to CA to dispose of her aunt's stuff. My neighbor had no children to leave the job to. She doesn't have a lot as she was forever getting rid of stuff over the years but still have stuff..... What happens when families have no family to come in and do the work? The state does it or who gets rid of the stuff, there must be plenty of agencies who do this...
We simply have the kind of marriage we tell each other what to do and not to do. It really, really works for us, but for some marriages, it definitely doesn't. We don't make a "command" out of it, just a heavy suggestion of "to do" or "not to do". When I met my wife, she had a 10' x 10' storage absolutely full of stuff from a house and her ex had. Until she met me, she had been paying monthly, for a few years, for the storage and nobody wanted to go thru the stuff. A few months after meeting, she took me to the storage and I could barely get the slide-up door open. There was that much stuff packed into the unit. Still have some of it, but got rid of most of it within the years we've been married. There are things/keepsakes definitely worth keeping, but then again, even those can become "too much" sometimes. And then, some of that stuff has to go.
Here's the thing... we each get to decide exactly what we feel is the "right" way. You do you and allow other people the same privilege.
I suppose people have some of their precious stuff in their caskets...I believe my neighbor had her cat's remains in her casket when she died... Millions can't "let go" of stuff, it's stuff.