Do you ever decide to fully, or semi-fully, "let go" of someone, whether that be a friend or family member, for whatever reasons? Sort of like, they never call you, so you have to call them all of the time? My moto, "the phone rings both ways". Yesterday I decided to "Unfriend" a few high school classmates of mine on Facebook. They only comment with a "Like" for each post I do. I've got tired of this. I like seeing comments made. As for my SIL, wife's sister, I have decided to put my iPhone's ringer on "vibrate" at about the time she likes calling us in the evening. She just got to the point where she was calling us daily. My wife fully supports me putting the phone on "vibrate". Wife and I each have an iPhone, but mine is the main number. I don't do the "vibrate" every evening, but I do do it. We have a friend, who can be a "know it all" sometimes, especially about our boat, am I'm thinking about not calling him that much anymore. Him and us have, basically, not a thing in common. After his wife passed, he never calls us anymore. His wife and my wife graduated high school together and she was my wife's Maid of Honor at our wedding.
So……using your standard, I should unfriend my stepdaughter because she puts like’s on my comments but doesn’t comment? Unfriending someone isn’t just letting go, it’s a slap in the face of those who might consider YOU a friend. Friends, no matter how little you hear from them or How you hear from them are to be highly valued and not just cast aside because you’re “disappointed” that they do not dance the way you want them to.
Well, wife and I just think differently than you do. We like comments, not just "likes". Heck, Bobby, there have been complaints on this forum about people only doing a "like" all of the time. For us, and please remember I said "for us", a true friend is one that communicates with us, not simply does a "like" all of the time. Actually, the class mates that I "Unfriended", I haven't seen since 1988. There are a couple that I didn't "Unfriend", because they to both, make a comment and do a "like". We done a family ZOOM once and wife's brother couldn't get his video to work on his computer. I told him "it's not much fun when we can't see you! If you can't get your video to work, don't join us on ZOOM. My wife's sister told me "why can't he be on ZOOM with no video? That should be ok." I told my wife, "your sister would think differently if she couldn't see her daughter, only hear her" and my wife agreed. There are times, Bobby, when a person has to "dance" the way others think they should. And, if they don't, something has to be done.
You’re going to do whatever you want to do no matter what anyone else says on this forum so why even bother starting a thread on it? It’s obvious from your posts about neighbors and others that you come across that you don’t mind alienating yourself from them so why not your friends too? Some day you’re going to need someone and they’re going to look at the way you treated them. None of us are that “special” and when we start thinking that we are is when something happens to show us how “un-special” we really are.
Each person has to decide what is important to them, and if terminating friendships is what you want to do, then that is what works for you and Wife. For myself, I enjoy the contact with ALL of my friends and family, whether it is a lot, or even none at all. I like to check their facebook pages and see how life is going for them, and I am perfectly happy if someone puts a like on something I post. The only time I have considered “letting go” of someone is when they are adding stress into my life in some way and making life harder to enjoy. Pretty much, I have already done that, although I do have some people who are friends/family that I seldom look at their facebook page because they are so far misaligned with my beliefs, and it just upsets me to read what I consider to be their rants about political matters. One of my best friends is always depressed (I have mentioned her before), and it is hard to have good conversations with her; but I dearly love her and would never even consider cutting her out of my life, regardless.
Ok, Bobby, I don't put a thread on this forum to be told what to do! Making suggestions/recommendations is one thing, but sounding like a "demand" is another. Suggestions/recommendations are just that, that don't have to be followed. Actually, I had the same thing happen to me on a boating forum...........more sounding like "demands" than suggestions/recommendations. As far as "alienating" myself, nope, don't do that. We know what we want for friends and that's that. Wife and I have been ridiculed for doing almost everything together. Some people want "me time" and we don't want it or need it. If/when we meet the right kind of people, we will make friends, but that definitely isn't going to happen in the complex we live in or the city we live in. Letting go, or partially letting go, isn't being treated badly. My BIL (wife's brother) has pretty much done it to everyone in the family, but us. If you don't like "letting go" or "partially, letting go", that's totally your decision, but I'll be there are those on this forum that darn sure wish they could "let go", but there are those that simply don't have the mind strength to do it. My wife totally understands why I have done it to a few classmates on Facebook. This is why I love my wife so much, she understands!
It is not that I actually understand your view point, I don’t; but I respect your right to have that viewpoint, since it is what works for you. If you are expecting comments for all of your facebook posts, and not happy when you just get likes, it seems like unfriending the people who are putting likes on your posts is going to mean that you now get NO comments or likes for anything you post on facebook. Why you want responses, but are blocking the people who are responding makes no sense to me at all, because some response is better than no response , as far as I am concerned. If you are spending a long time each day, reading and writing comments on everything that all of your friends and family are writing, then I can see that you might be getting tired of doing that and getting no comments back. If you are not commenting on all of your friend’s posts, then I don’t know why you would expect them to comment on your posts ?
Oh, I completely forgot about a former close girlfriend (Linda) my wife had in So. California. When I met my wife, Linda and her had been doing some things together. They met in a square dance class. Linda was seeing a guy, off and on, who told her that he had separated from his wife, but? Linda told me, "you have to share her (my wife) with her". Well, that wasn't going to happen and my wife agreed. So, my wife and I done a whole lot together and didn't give Linda a thought. Linda did come to our wedding, but her and my wife's friendship pretty much ended. Then, we moved out of So California, but still kept in contact (phone) with Linda. Unfortunately, she said some pretty bad things about farmer/ranchers, because she is a vegetarian. She said "why should I care what happens to farmers/ranchers, I don't eat meat. They all can be buried as far as I'm concerned." After that, all communication with her ended. We did tell her, on her phone message area, "you can't talk about farmers/ranchers like that and expect to keep us as friends. Sorry, but that's the way it has to be."
Yvonne, you need to read my one post correctly. I said that I still have a couple of classmates that I didn't "Unfriend". They do both, "Likes" and comments. Didn't "Unfriend" my SIL (wife's sister) either, but sometimes I wish I would. She includes religion into almost everything she posts. And, I'm still part of four different Groups that are rodeo related. So, I haven't deleted/"Unfriended" everyone.
You’re exaggerating what I wrote. No one is trying to TELL you what to do but what I definitely AM doing is trying to make you aware of the possible mistake you’re making. If you unfriended everyone in the world, it isn’t going to make any difference in my life in any way shape or form. You just have to remember that once you unfriend someone, coming back and asking them to be a friend when you need them is well, you’ll find out the hard way. You can UNFOLLOW anyone and whatever they do won’t appear on your page but unfriend is a totally different attitude and can indeed create enemies. As far as understanding, everyone here already understands that no matter what anyone else advises you to do, you’re going to do whatever you want to do anyway.
Show me one instance where someone has complained about getting a “like”. I have 18,000+ of them and I don’t complain about it one bit even if that like isn’t complimented by a post. Matter of fact, you have almost 7,000 and you haven’t written one complaint about them either. And, so far as those people on the forum who put likes on your stuff but don’t comment, why not “unfriend” them too? Just put ‘em all on ignore and make a clean sweep of it.
To make this clear, Bobby, I have "Unfriended" someone on Facebook, then I ask to be a friend again and they accepted. If they ask me "did you unfriend me?", I will say "it must have been a glitch in Facebook that did it". I've actually put a few people on SOF on "Ignore", but later, took the "Ignore" off. IOW, Bobby, if we (both of us) feel that it's time to "Unfriend" someone on Facebook or not talk to someone on the phone anymore, for whatever reasons, we will do it. I'm a "communicating" type person, so I don't always just put a "Like" on someone reply on here. Actually, there are plenty of seniors that don't like texting, and refuse to do it. They will say "I'd rather talk to the person with a voice, not a text." Call it "old fashion", but I agree.
So……you lied to your unfriended friend and blamed it on someone else. Nice Christian way of doing things. Yeah, I know you’re going to come back and say that FB isn’t someone else but it is. People run FB ergo it’s their fault when something goes wrong even when there isn’t something wrong. You could have just told the person why you did it and apologized but nope, gotta make false excuses. Exodus 20:16 is an imperative and NOT just a suggestion. In other words, that ain’t me telling you what to do, God said it. Feel free to argue with Him about it.
Not to get off-topic here, but, Bobby, just how many people, who call themselves Christians, lie about one thing or the other?? Heck, it's even documented that Priests, Pastors/Ministers have lied in one way or another. Lying about something isn't always a bad thing. To you, it is, but there are millions of Christians in America that do it every single day and go to church every Sunday to ask for forgiveness and, during the following week, do it all over again.