Probably, most of us have collected a lifetime of things, which are in some ways a representation of our life and of our memories. These might be any number of things, some of them worth money, others not, but they were all important to us, and I think there's a tendency for us to think that our children or other family members would be excited to have these things, if only because they meant something to their parents. My neighbor is an auctioneer. He often does estate auctions and I have gone with him to help him load things onto his trailer. Sometimes he will hold the sale there at the house, but more often he moves it to a place where he is likely to get more bidders. The sad thing is that, very often, there are no relatives who have any interest in these things beyond the money they can bring at auction. Not infrequently, the adult children aren't even interested in going through the house to pick out things that they might like to keep. It's not worth making the trip from Virginia or wherever they may have moved to. He has sold large gun collections, coin collections, stamps, and other collectibles. Books and clothing, we usually sell for him on eBay because there's not much of a market for them at an auction. He has also found things like the flags that are presented to the living relatives of people who have died while in the armed forces, collections of the medals and citations they have earned, and large photo albums. These are things that are worth almost nothing to anyone beyond their sentimental value, and it seems like sentiment is lacking in many grown children today. Some of these are people who have died without any close relatives, but many of them have grown children living in another state, and it saddens me to realize that this is so often the case. I thought of that a few days ago, when I came across an article about what to do when you are downsizing. One of the suggestions was to get rid of any collections or mementos, keeping only a few things that were especially significant to you. I found myself thinking that surely someone would want this stuff, and then I realized that they probably wouldn't. I suppose this could be used to signify that we are identified by the number of things we can collect, but by what we do with our lives.
We do tend to collect a lot of things throughout our lifetimes. Some of us hang on to these things for a lifetime and some of us "downsize" as we pass through difference seasons in our lives. My heavy duty downsizing came when I made up my mind to finally close the door on a marriage that never really was a marriage...even though I stayed in it for almost 23 years. Deciding a fresh start was needed...I decided to move from Louisiana to Florida. And since I didn't have a lot of money to begin my new life...I had to take only what was most important to me. That's when I realized how much I had accumulated over those years. I started downsizing by asking my daughters to come over and take home with them anything of mine that they truly wanted. I told them that I would rather see them enjoy those things that had been mine now, than not be able to see them enjoy those things after I was gone from this earth. After they took what they wanted, I downsized some more by gifting my family members with things of mine that I knew they had admired. Donated some things to Good Will and the Library, etc. And when I was finished downsizing I was left with the bare essentials and the few things that really were important to me which fit in my car and the back of my brother-in-law's pickup truck. Downsizing gave me such a feeling of freedom that since that day almost 15 years ago I have never felt the need to clutter up my life again with things. Instead I clutter my life up with people I love and the memories we make. I capture a lot of those memories with my camera and transfer the photos to CD's which I label and store. I also print off and share some favorites with my Family. I love books and used to have bookshelves filled with them, but now check out most books from the Library and return them when I am finished with them. I have kept the ones that I never tire of and refer to often but they don't even fill a whole book shelf in our 600 square feet of living space. I don't want to leave my daughters with a mess to get rid of when I die, but I hope when that day comes and they have to come straighten up what is left in my home...these few things will speak "Moma" to them. But most of all I want the time and memories we are making together to speak of me to all my Family long after I leave this earth. I do think one of the reasons "things" aren't as important to young people now days is because they don't hang on to anything long enough for it to have history to them. They "tire" of things or those things go out of "style" or become "obsolete" almost right after they purchase them. I'm happy that in my Family "people" we love are more important than "things we love" and the memories we store in our hearts are more important than the things we store in our homes, etc.
That's where I need to start in my downsizing, the memories stuff. Mostly from my husband. I still have his favorite robe and a few other things like that. Boxes of his old records and VHS tapes. I even have the cut off undershirt that he died in. I'm sure my kids don't want any of this. I have cards saved from my kids, I'm sure they don't want those either. In fact they don't want anything really. I have 2 very big antique hungarian zsolnay porcelain pots that are somewhat valuable but that's it.
In my own case, I am troubled quite often by the recurring thought that a lifetime of technical information learned, and used, will go to the grave with me, without providing benefit to others. Specifically, kids and young adults; I had no children of my own to pass it on to. Maybe that's why I greatly enjoyed teaching for one year back in MO. Excuse me then, for seeming to always be explaining things which do not necessarily revolve about the discussion? Frank
@Chrissy Page I have saved every card my 3 daughters ever gave me....this is one thing that I won't "downsize on" as they are like the favorite books I have kept. I never tire of reading them and each time I do my heart fills up with love and joy all over again. I would rather have a card that expresses their feelings than the most expensive present in the world!
Yes, but except for the memories, it's garbage. I've dragged those things all over with me, even to Hungary and my kids will throw them out when I die.
It may be garbage after I die...but it's cherished memories worth their weight in gold while I'm still alive.
@Chrissy Page , You can have small things like greeting cards and letters scanned onto a disc to view on your computer, or even on your TV if it has a disc player. Then you can get rid of the bulk.
True, my daughter made a DVD for me one Mother's Day, finding all my pics of me with her going way back.
Also I did take a few pics of some cards that meant a lot. This was from my kids when my husband died. And it wasn't just words because they have been here for me for the past 12 years more than I ever could have imagined.
My husband and I have cleaned up a few estates and were surprised what survivors didn't want. Chrissy saying she kept the shirt her husband died in, made me remember that I have kept the T-shirt our son died in. After a few months I washed it and hung it in a closet. I gave the jeans he was wearing to his son because he said he wanted to wear them.
Maybe some young people will show up that you can teach Frank. Its a shame to just let knowledge die when you obviously like teaching and sharing. My husband is really blessed right now because our youngest son has set him up for part of the summer to hang out with a couple guys and teach them about remodeling an old post office (it was shut down as a PO and turned into a residence in 1923) and get it fixed up as a nice home. Our son is 41 and has been in construction most of his life but he is wise enough to know he doesn't know it all. He's told the 2 guys (one recently got out of prison and really has no skills except for doing a bit of maintenance while incarcinated) they are going to be learning from a 71 year old man with 2 hernias so he's not to do any lifting or any real work. He said he's here for his brain not his brawn. He's always loved teaching and passing on any shortcuts and skills he could so this should be quite renewing for him.
I watched a documentary a while back about the effort to save memories and knowledge and transfer them to another person. Scary stuff ...