There are different things that many people, young and old/older, have tolerance for and many that don't. There are things that shouldn't be tolerated and things that can be, but there are those that refuse to be. For those that refuse to be, just how can that be turned around?
There are a number of tolerant people in this forum and I'd really like to know the "how and why" they became that way.
Tolerance doesn’t mean that one has to accept or agree with something but merely how willing a person is to simply shrug their shoulders and move on when exposed to something that one cannot change,
Cody, I was listening to Public Radio on the way home. They were quoting a California woman on how the gov't had NO Right to dictate to people on medical issues. The issues she was complaining about were sexual orientation of youth and abortions. No Duh! So why were we dictated to about vaccines, masks and quarantines when the vaccines protected everyone which is why they got them? Which side is the tolerance on?
Hi Cody, great question about how and why I became tolerant. My deceased ex-wife (my first wife) was a nightmare to live with. I never hated her but it got close to hate. I was very intolerant of her beliefs and the effect they were having on the well being of the family. I finally divorced her, but the bad memories remained like a poison in my heart. I finally found the antidote. I call it “My Model of the World”. My model of the world is the aggregate of all the actual and perceived experiences I have had. Experiences with my parents, my teachers, my religion, my teenage years, my career, my family life, etc and so on. My model of the world is unique and I firmly believe that it is correct. Among other things, it tells me what is right and wrong. I then applied the foregoing concept to my wife. Recalling what she told me about her growing up and her other experiences, I could see that she had a very different model of the world. I thought deeply about the implications and took the next crucial step. I decided that she too firmly believed that her model of the world was correct. Once this fully sunk in, I will able to forgive her for my perceived hurts. In other words, I changed my model of the world to include tolerance for her model of the world. In conclusion, my updated model of the of the world now includes the following beliefs about tolerance: 1. Each person has a unique model of the world. 2. Each person believes his/her model of the world is correct. 3. Most if not all people are probably sincere. 4. My left and right brain choose to be tolerant of other beliefs. Cody, I think this explains the how and why I became tolerant.
Well, John, wife and I just see each other as "Really Old Fashion" way, way before many things (to us) got out of control. At 73/me and 74/her, we simply find different things both tolerable and intolerable. We've both had bad marriages, but lived thru them so we could end up meeting each other. There are things in today's society that many people simply can't tolerate, but can't change either.
Many old/older people try to, but that's just the extend of it and they find out "trying" just doesn't work for some things.
It doesn’t work that way Cody. If you do not have the capacity to tolerate something then there must be a solution such as setting an example. In the case of an illegal act, report it. In the case of what another person legally does, most of the time it’s none of your business. The solution for most cases of intolerance often include not being what you cannot tolerate in others. Alas, @John Houlihan’s post is pretty concise and in my estimation a really good way of thinking of things. Perhaps you might like to re-read what he wrote and meditate on it for a spell Cody.
Hi Cody, If my deceased wife were still alive and I knew what I know now, my response would be much different. Before, I used to believe she was morally wrong. In other words, I was passing judgment on the contents of her heart, which I had no right to do. Now I understand that the error was not in her heart but in the contents of her mind. With this viewpoint, I could then decide what possible choices I needed to make, which would include challenging my own assumptions about the issue as well as hers. Tolerance then would be more like the adult part of me was in charge instead of the child part of me.
The saying "it's none of your business" is what everyone that get outrageous tattoos, like Satan on their arm, and a huge ring, like one used on a bull at a ranch, in their nose. Just what will we see next, a tattoo of a Swastika on somebodies face/arm or the word "Anti-Christ" on someone's arm? Don't need to meditate on anything. Do you realize, Bobby, just how many people, young and old, in American, don't have or want to be very tolerable. That's why very heavyset ladies, young and old, get looked at. That's why America has such a "bullying" problem. Young folks can't tolerate much.
Since you’re harping about the same things you always do, I really can’t think of the real reason you started the thread Cody. It somehow looks as though you’re not asking how others tolerate things but instead, telling everyone to tolerate your opinions. Since you don’t want to think about and converse on what has been written from people who have taken their time and effort to convey their thoughts in an extremely caring manner, I believe I will solve one other problem. Since I do not like wasting my time, which to me is intolerable, I’ll leave the thread. See? Problem solved.
In my way of thinking, tolerance doesn't mean approval, and shouldn't. Tolerance can mean that I really hate what this person is doing, but with the recognition that it's his life, not mine, and that it's really not my business. When someone tries to make it my business, I don't need to tolerate it any longer. For example, I probably wouldn't hire someone with facial tattoos unless that person was clearly the best person for the job. On the other hand, we've hired a couple of registered sex offenders to do work on the house because, as it turns out, people on the sex offender list work cheap, and we didn't have any children around, anyhow. I don't know that I'd hire a sex offender to work inside the house, however, at least not on a regular basis.
Ken, ditto on "tolerance" doesn't mean approval. But I also believe that tolerance allows us to hate the actions. To add to the confusion, I used to misunderstand what Jesus meant by "Judge not that you may not be judged...". How do I reconcile hating a person's actions without judging the person. In my opinion, it is what is being judged that matters. I think that Jesus meant don't judge a person's heart because it's impossible for you to know what is there. On the other hand, passing judgment on another person's actions is a totally different matter. The actions may be abominable. Bottom line: Tolerance means try not to judge a person's heart but feel free to judge and hate his/her actions if they are abominable.
Actions should be judged. That's what discernment is. How else are we to determine which actions are acceptable and which are not? If all actions are equal, we're in a bad place, or at least a confusing one. Jesus followed his admonishment to judge not that you be not judged with a discussion of hypocrisy. In context, He was speaking to his disciples, who were seeking, not the path to salvation, but to ways in which they can have a good relationship with God. I believe that the passage was not an instruction to avoid judgments but to take care in how you judge. There are far too many other passages in the New Testament about the importance of discernment for that to be an admonishment against judging the actions of others. That said, you make a good point about judging actions rather than people, as it is up to God to judge the people. That, too, would not contradict other passages.