Just wondering how different people deal with someone who doesn't like them, and they don't tell them why. Do you dwell on it, and try to figure out why, get mad and say something to them, or move on and think it's their loss? Everyone is not the same, and I think some are hurt by it, and some don't care and they can handle it easier than others. Over the years I have come across more than one, who didn't like me and I never found out why. I've seen some who just let it roll off their back like water off a duck's back, and never seems to bother them at all. I kind of admire those who do that but was never quite like that. In the back of my mind, I always wondered why and tried to change it sometimes, to no avail. So anyway, how do you feel when someone doesn't like you, and you don't know why?
If it is someone that I am just meeting, and do not have a friendship with, and they do not like me, I really do not let it worry me usually. I know that when I meet people, there are some people that I take to right away and want to be friends, some people I just get a “bad feeling” from and do not want to be around at all, and others that barely leave an impression with me. It seems perfectly natural that if I have those responses that most other people would be that way, too. If a longtime friend started not liking me, and I didn’t know why, then I would definitely be dwelling on it and trying to find out what happened. That relationship is important to me, and if I have inadvertently hurt someone I care about, then I want to make it right.
We try to get along with a certain neighbor, but he seems to have multiple personalities, so to keep peace I just go along with whatever person he is at the time. I learned that it is better to ignore than abhor, [ I just made that one up, think I'll keep it in my famous quotes].
Love the way you word things, Yvonne, it's really understandable to me. They're some posts I read and say what. You sound a lot like the way I feel too, and like I was gonna say too, there were some who passed, or I never saw again and didn't get to ever figure out why they didn't like me. But I've moved on and don't dwell on it anymore. I figure there's nothing else I can do, with them being gone now. I've definitely met some who give me a bad feeling too, and I wanted nothing to do with them, almost like they were evil in some way, and I hate that feeling when that happens.
Most of the time, wife and I know why someone/anyone wouldn't like us. I'm an outgoing person and there are those that don't like "outgoing" people. We have opinions about certain things that others will say "live and let live" and we don't like that saying. We aren't that open-minded and there are those that don't like that attitude. Bottom Line is: We care, but at the same time, we don't care. IOW, can't please everyone!
Well Cody I see your of the Garden Party. I like garden parties, too. I could dedicate two songs to this post alone, Garden Party or ' When Your Strange'.
The neighbor Marie mentioned is a strange one, for some reason, and does seem to be like Sybil to me. I never know who he is gonna be when I encounter him on the road, some days he will speak when spoken to and other days he will ignore you even when you clearly speak to him, he just stares at you.
Sometimes I think I know why, and sometimes I find out, I was wrong, or I never find out why at all. But dealing with it can be a bit trying on the mind if you're the kind who cares and are not one of those who don't let things get to them.
As others have said, it depends on the context. An existing relationship that's taken a turn is different than a stranger at Walmart I say "Hi" to and they tell me to bugger off. I think the older I get, the less it "stings" and the faster I recover. Perhaps there are those who are not bothered by it at all, but let's not assume we can look at someone's outsides and tell what's going on inside. In a sense, having people who don't like us is a good sign. If you please everyone, then you are nothing more than what the moment requires and you don't truly exist. Take occasional rejection as a sign that you have a firm identity. Now, if everyone hates you, it might warrant some investigation. But if you're the type of person that everyone hates, chances are you really don't care.
I have had a bunch of instances when people I know said that when they first met me, they didn’t like me but now….yada, yada, yada. That said, since being liked isn’t my first priority when it comes to interacting with other people, I really do not know what being genuinely liked feels like nor do I care to I guess. I do try to be friendly but I guess because I do not trust anyone, even when someone shows or says that they like me, my inner self is asking the question: okay, what do they want? My real friends are dead and the supposed friends I have now always show up on our doorstep wanting something.