Well, Beth, it's sort of a tough thing. First, my wife literally hates any kind of confrontation with anyone. She knows, without a doubt, that her older sister would confront/ask her "why no more gift exchanges?". This sister knows that my wife makes a nice salary, so she figures we could afford the Visa Cards. However, she was sort of surprised that we got her daughters/grandkids one. My wife would also feel bad, especially with the salary she is getting currently, if we didn't send the family members anything. The one year we didn't send anything, she was unemployed and her sister knew that. No problem with sending nothing. A lot of families "live" for gifts at Christmas. A "guilty" feeling can set in for those that send/give nothing.
I agree with Beth. My family agreed a long time ago that there would be no gifts between the adults. Regarding that wedding cake topper...what are you gonna do with it?
Well, one thing for sure, Hedi, we didn't tell anyone that we wanted Christmas decor for Christmas gifts. The entire family knows that we like western or wildlife stuff/decor, but...........
As for the topper, will just keep it. My wife still has the western hat she wore for our wedding. Guess the older sister started feeling guilty that she had it and it really was ours, but we have it now. John, it's like I just told Beth, there are families that get a real "guilty" feeling when it comes to not giving to each other for Christmas. But, it's sometimes, what is given that is very, very confusing.
Actually, last Christmas, the sister sent us a throw blanket that was way to small for us to use. My wife told her it was too small and the sister requested that we send it back to her. We did. Don't know what she did with it.
Yeh, it's a weird thing. There are lots of families like hers where some members are all hung up on the gift exchange, and the others view it as a burden (both in trying to figure out what to give, and in trying to seem grateful when receiving things they don't want.) The only one who wins is the retailer...and sometimes Goodwill. Our initial thing after saying "No more gifts" was to soften the rule and permit handmade gifts, if people were so inclined. That lasted a couple of years, and then died on its own. Adults should just send cards if they feel the need to keep their hooks in each other stay in touch.
Everyone including myself have a tough time trying to buy that just right gift, so I got family to agree that our gifts to each other will be not to buy any and avoid the hassle, especially returns..
That was my thought exactly ! It seems like the whole reason for Christmas and giving gifts to people we love has gone away nowdays, and it has become something that people do because they feel obligated to buy people a present. What possible sense does it make for people to send each other a money gift card back and forth ? The idea is not that someone is supposed to pay for something we want, or ask them for. It is merely a way to show someone that we care about them, and just buying a gift because we are expected to do so in no way does this. It is different at a job situation where they might have a holiday party and people are expected to bring a small gift to exchange with someone else. There, it is more just the tradition, and not that anyone expects much of a gift, let alone something that they want. When my kids were little, I loved shopping for Christmas presents and finding just the perfect gift for each of them, but as adults, none of us exchange gifts, we all just buy what we need ourselves.
We will see what happens next Christmas, that is if my wife is still working. If not, nothing will be sent and it will be up to her family if they want to send us a Visa Gift Card or not. If my wife is still working, which could definitely be a miracle, we will, most likely, spend the same $300 and send Visa Gift Cards. Ok, why do I say the word "miracle" for my wife's at-home job? Because, originally, the job was to last three months and this coming February, it will be three years. She keeps getting a month extension each month.
I like this (highlighted in red above), but, like I've already told Beth and John, "not all families are alike". In giving a Visa Gift Card, the receiver gets what they want, not what someone else "thinks" they will want or like. For our birthdays, SIL will send each of us a $25 Gift Card to a specific restaurant. Our two favorites are Olive Garden and Longhorn Steakhouse. But, the sender has to know if the restaurant they are sending as a gift, is located where the receiver lives. We have an Olive Garden locally, but no Longhorn. However, we do have an Outback Steakhouse that we've ate at. Delicious Filet Mignon and Lobster Tail.
Most likely, they know you have everything you want, concerning what you are about, and wouldn't know what to get you in that area. So they get something NOT what you're about, and maybe a little off the wall. There is another (although remote) possibility: Yes, it's the thought that counts, but you might be surprised what that thought is. There are people who like to pull your chains, push your buttons, try to get a rise out of you just for their amusement. I would just ignore it, thank them, and pretend you love it. That will annoy them to no end. It's a win-win situation whatever their motive.
Nancy, there is a Boot Barn (western clothing store) locally and they could've bought us a Gift Card to them. I mean, the adult family members could've put some money together and bought one single gift card to them. That would've been fine. But, when all was "said and done", that's exactly what we did................we thanked them and pretended to love what they sent.
I live in a weird family. Mostly we don't give a rip. We are all adults. But I have to brag on my middle daughter. She texted, all proud of herself, that she had gotten us presents. She is mentally challenged but since she has been out on her own a bit, she has grown and understands more. She wrapped her offerings and brought them to the house for hubby, me and sister. For me she brought a quart bag of washed kale and red cabbage--VERY Christmas-y--and a bottle of kefir for keto dressing. It was lovely and very thoughtful as she eats very healthfully after cancer. Thought went into each gift. Not money.
Once you gift something it's theirs to do as they please John B. I use to think that way but I stopped the gift cards are money to buy what you like not to for someone to like it too. IJS my 2 cents. Think about it.