Random Thoughts. Lately I'm feeling out of sorts... kind of depressed and anxious or something. Some days I fall into that "time is running out" mindset that is hard to shake off. I suppose that just goes with the territory since once we become seniors time actually is running out. For instance, I was thinking I'd like to have one more new car before I get too old. But what do I need that for? I never drive anywhere so I don't even know why we still own two vehicles. Plus, I'm not motivated to go look at vehicles or deal with salesmen. We need some updates to the house like painting, new carpet, etc., but I just don't want to deal with people in the house or the work I'd have to do moving stuff around. Last time we had our upstairs carpeted it was like moving. 5 bedrooms full of furniture and "stuff" to move and then put back. Not sure I'm up to it. I also get frustrated by my recent increase in physical limitations. Just bending, squatting, stooping remind me of the new frailty in my previously strong and reliable body. I always understood I'd get old; I just didn't comprehend exactly what that means. I also see my husband slowing down which makes me sad. We need a new ceiling fan in our bedroom but I don't want him up on a ladder and he refuses to ask our son to help "because he's busy." To top off my whining, I have such a lack of enthusiasm and can't seem to get motivated to do things. I just want to sit and watch the world go by, feeling sad and dismayed that the world I grew up in has disappeared and been replaced by stuff I just don't understand. My world just keeps shrinking, but at least here in this house I can still control a few things.
I was just re-reading that and thinking I probably could have kept most of that to myself, lol. Maybe we just have the winter doldrums, Krys! Sending you a hug.
I’m glad you shared. I like knowing I am not the only one feeling all these different emotions. I can’t express myself or communicate as well as many of you all here on SOC so I am semi-silent.
I did, too, and I think that being stuck inside with this endless cold weather all week has affected my outlook a lot. I just hate being frozen all day, and the only time I am actually warm is after I have been bundled under the electric blanket for about an hour and then I can fall asleep. Longing for warmer weather reminds me that we then get to the hot and humid part of the year, and I am huffing and puffing from that and wishing that there was some way i could be cooler. Truly, living in a little apartment somewhere that had decent heating and cooling would make me a lot happier; but that is nowhere in my perspective of life; so I just need to quit muttering to myself and make the best of things. I have lived a lot worse, and (truly) I am grateful that I have a home and a good life.
There's a lot to be said for having basic creature comforts. I seem to forget about that until our power goes out for an extended time. I never expected to be here past 2021 so I should be happier and "living life to the fullest," whatever that means. Sending you a warm hug, too, Yvonne.
Winter + politics + COVID = The World Beatin' On Everyone It's been a suck 3 years. Retirement, age and/or health issues are just the sprinkles on top of it all.