Haggis And Jackals And More, Oh My!

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Jacob Petersheim, Jan 25, 2024.

  1. Jacob Petersheim

    Jacob Petersheim Very Well-Known Member
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    So I'll begin by saying that just as legitimate a gripe can be made the other way around. But I'm not on the other side, so this is a gripe about women. Ok, some women.

    A woman posts:

    "I blah, blah, blah and after some years I met this guy, but after years the relationship didn't meet my needs so I kicked him to the curb.

    "I found this other guy, and he really does it for me in all departments. Outgoing, assertive, funny, great kisser, and a damned good lay who knows what a woman needs. But he refuses to change his life for me and complains that I'm controlling. He doesn't chase after me for sex, and would prefer to be my best friend. After a short time I kicked him to the curb.

    "I really want him back, but should I settle for him having his space as my friend?"​

    A veritable coven of dried up haggises descend on this guy (with no voice in the discussion) like jackals:

    "He's a user!"

    "Abusive! You are better off running away from him."

    "What a turd. He's obviously aggressive and dangerous, why have anything to do with a guy like that?"​

    For good measure a few beta males chime in to give the guy a few kicks in the kidneys, hoping to curry favor with the queen bee.

    WTH is really going on there? Do they hate men despite pretending that they don't? Are they PO'ed that this first woman might find some sort of happiness, so they want her to be another miserable prune like them?

    Or am I the crazy one here?
     
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  2. Jacob Petersheim

    Jacob Petersheim Very Well-Known Member
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    And yeah, these are all seniors.

    But I suppose the silence confirms that I am the crazy one.
     
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  3. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    LOLLLLL!! This is about the truth, and I am a woman un-offended because I see it as truth. Yes, it can be the other way around.

    I'm very sad to say that the one man I met when I was very young, got kicked to the curb for the same reasons you listed above. I think it's very sad I didn't learn more of what I know now, back then as I am very alone, which I've become accustomed to luckily. I stopped looking for a new man to fix me, because I realized no one can do that for me, it's an inside-job.

    Life isn't like the fairytale's I read when I was a child, or like the movies I was addicted to growing up. That's pretty much all I can say for now, except that I wish it were different but I think we live in a throw-away-relationship world. Some are very fortunate to stay with, and appreciate what (who) they have in their lives.

    PS I just noticed that title under my photo, LOL, supreme member! Well, I always wanted to be one of the Supremes :D
     
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  4. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Supreme Member
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    My guess is the original poster is making up the 2 stories. I'll just leave it at that.
     
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  5. Jacob Petersheim

    Jacob Petersheim Very Well-Known Member
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    Sadly, no. It's real. And it is 1 story, a thread at another forum site.
     
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  6. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    It does surprise me a Senior woman would write something like that but aging doesn't necessarily bring wisdom:rolleyes:
     
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  7. Jacob Petersheim

    Jacob Petersheim Very Well-Known Member
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    Oh, there was a little more to it about how this third guy (counting her dead husband) "made her feel alive again" or something like that.

    Her dilemma was whether to try to get him back as just a friend instead of a boyfriend, or not even try to pursue him any more. Her issue was that without caging him she felt too insecure of her hold on him.

    My guess is that even as "a friend" she'd demand complete celibacy of him as well.
     
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  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    The way I see it, it seems to always "take two to Tango" as the old saying goes. Back in the mid 70's, I met my first wife and both marriages to her should have never/ever happened. It took me 21 years to find my wife I have now. Even though, during those 20 years, I never found "Mrs. Right, until that 21st year. Like most couples, we've had our ups and downs, but coming on 23 years of marriage, still together and fully love each other.

    Way too many men and women want to totally blame the other spouse, without looking at themselves in the mirror and saying, "yes, part of the problems were me". I can totally say that about my two marriages to the woman way back when.
     
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  9. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Supreme Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood?

    By the original poster, I meant the woman who complained about the 2 men. She is making it up. Not you.

    How do you know the stories about the two men are true? And the dead husband?
     
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  10. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    Not to mention chief cook and bottle-washer and to be there at anothers beckoned call. That woman needs help but I doubt if she's already a senior citizen she'll ever change.
     
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  11. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    I just think the reality is there are people out there like this. I know it's hard to believe, but I've met up with a few that have some very weird ideas about relationships, of course in my opinion.
     
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  12. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Before my current wife, during those 20 years of looking, (what I highlighted in red above) can be, and is, very true.
     
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  13. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    My thoughts exactly. Some people love to embellish their lives online.
     
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  14. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    You mean that they are exaggerating in a hyper-bawlic manner? Say it isn't so!!!

    And I love the topic of male/female conflict. Makes me wish I were French. All that fatalism sets one's sights pretty low, so it's tough to be disappointed.
     
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  15. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    What we are getting here appears to be maybe a third-hand version of what happened, and in a kind of crazy way. As the OP posted, the woman wrote her side of this story elsewhere.
    He read it, and gave us his interpretation of what she said; so already, we have the she-said/he-said thing happening.
    And no version at all from the man who was involved with the first woman who posted her side of the story.

    At this point, I can see NO way that we can ever even understand totally what went on, let alone make any kind of inference who might have been at fault, or for what.
    Pretty much, relationships depend on both sides working on things and doing their best to work everything out, and even then, stuff is going to be misunderstood and go wrong.
    Once a person gets either hurt or angry, then sensible communication mostly goes right out the door, and all that happens is two people throwing garbage and retaliating.
    I have done this enough times to know that this didn’t ever work for me, and probably does not work for other people either.

    So….. the question that @Jacob Petersheim posed, is why did all of the other women support the first woman’s version unquestioningly, and blame the boyfriend for what happened, and reassure her that she was better off without said boyfriend ?
    I don’t know that either, but I will venture a guess, based on the information provided, which is not a lot.

    I think that maybe the first woman who posted her story was seeking comfort and reassurance from the other women who read the story, and so that is what it sounds like happened.
    If the boyfriend had also been there to give his version of the relationship, there would have been people who sided with him also, and there would have been more of a variety of responses.
     
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