On ongoing soap opera about trials and tribulations of elderly dating and relationships in the Late Internet age. Here we join our story in progress. A link to previous chapters in another thread might be placed here later, but they aren't required reading in order to continue from here. When we last saw Petersheim, he had made a modest flirty post that somehow spiraled into a long distance relationship. That relationship had its ups and downs on a peculiarly regular schedule until one day a misinterpretation blew up the entire thing. Two weeks later things took a turn and the games have returned, although it is very different with both the frequency and amplitude of the ups and down have increased. Flip-flops are now on a 1 to 2 day cycle. Songs have been brought to bear as weapons in this conflict. After the first salvo, Petersheim returned fire by executing his Nuclear Option, though with regrets over the escalation. The nuke seemed effective. But is that a smokescreen covering some new massing of troops? In an attempt to de-escalate and forward peace negotiations, Petersheim attempts to take the high road and humbly offers a compromise: This appears successful. The guns are silent and trade has resumed, albeit at a reduced level. Concern lingers however, the air has the feel of an unseen thunderstorm on its way.
Jacob, I done tol' you, dump the fickle b-tch and find a woman who is steadfast and true. Tune in tomorrow for the latest episode of "As the worn turns,"
Yeah, you may have something there. So last night she went out, came home and phoned with tales of the "male friends" complimenting her and offering to buy her drinks. Today she texts all day until about 4:30 when she texts she's bored. I offer to call, she says no. I send some compliment. 5:00 "Aww how sweet" then she disappears, having gone out again. So far no phone call to tell me all about tonight's wonderful guys orbiting her. I'm not sure I have much choice but to cut the line and let this one run.
Ok, apparently I read the texts incorrectly. I get this link very late, though timestamped as sent about 7:00 PM. Turn on the CC for the lyrics: I listen to that, and... WTF? It's 11:00 PM, but I call anyway because all day she said "call anytime" (except when she said not to). She says she went to the library tonight. Implying that I should have called instead of assuming anything I guess. Then talks about where she might go for her "getaway" come Spring Bermuda, too much crime she says. Bahamas, nothing to do there it is mostly couples. Maybe she'll stay with her sister in Hawaii, but that's a long trip. Cheese and rice, I get the idea that what she wanted was for me to pick such a destination and go there with her. Methinks we live in very different worlds. I have half a day's work tomorrow morning, but I said I'd call her when it is done. I wouldn't remain caught up in this if I wasn't emotionally invested.
I think that's the answer. But where do they keep such creatures? If they exist do any live here on Planet Earth?
Ignoring the drama, I don't see where a simple man fits into that lifestyle. I'm no prize: no money worth taking, ugly as a toad, my share of health issues including wearing these damned compression stockings - all of which she knows. Hell, she's even an inch taller than I am. She's rolling in dough, a few years younger and looks 10 years younger than that, and doesn't have anything going on healthwise but her age. She claims none of that matters. How? Anyone hazard a guess? Surely humor and wit only go so far? And I won't try to claim I'm bursting out with either one. It's an enigma to me. I can't fathom what I bring to the table.
Just curious. Does her Face Book page look like she has more friends than is listed in your local phone book?
Have you met this woman face-to-face? If not, "she" could be a pimply-faced college dropout in his mom's basement. You can be anyone you want on the internet.
Well, we all know that any good soap opera has to have its daily drama to survive, and some people thrive on drama , and others do their best to avoid it. Aside from your enjoyment of the daily drama, all you have said about this relationship is the physical and financial attributes of your drama queen lady. Besides from the drama (or ignoring the drama, as you said); what are the aspects of this person that endear her to you so much that keeping the relationship is worth all of the heartache and anxiety you are going through each and every day, @Jacob Petersheim ? @Shirley Martin advised finding a woman who is steadfast and true, and you asked her where to find such a creature. A good question, and my guess is that she is not going to be found among the drama queens, or in a place where such people congregate; but she is quietly enjoying life somewhere, and getting along happily with people in her life. She is probably not going to tell you how young and rich she is, or how many men are flirting with her, or other physical glamourizations. Instead, she will talk about her daily life, things she enjoys, and share some of her heart feelings with you, and drama will not exist because she does not like soap operas. When I met @Bobby Cole , this was the first thing that I fell in love with; he was utterly and always kind and caring about the people he worked with at the rescue mission, and spent the hours of his day helping other people, and not involved with himself. Both of us had already had more drama in our lives than we ever would want, and are completely happy with a calm, secure and peaceful relationship with each other. What was in our hearts was what mattered to both of us, and not how physically appealing or rich we were. It took me most of my life to find such a man, and my life is complete since God put Bobby in my life. This song says to me Everything that is right and important in my love and life with Bobby, and I could not wish anything better for anyone else.
She doesn't have one. But I take your point. She is actually too paranoid to have one. You'd never see her using an actual photo as an avatar, not even something like a childhood photo. The was an early red flag. One that became a double red flag when I suggested that I had no way of knowing she wasn't really a front for a scammer or somebody playing games and she blew up over my suggestion. "How dare you? I'm deeply hurt!" yadda yadda. That was the first "fight."
You may be misinterpreting me. I don't enjoy it. Or perhaps you aren't misinterpreting me entirely. I have remained engaged with this relationship rather than walking away. She really gets me aside from the times and the points where she doesn't. Overall there is a sincere mutual understanding and appreciation and affection. The mirror is that I really get her too, aside from the times and specific points where I don't. Laugh, but there is mutual love that feels completely sincere. Granted. Though my comment was meant to be semi-humorous, I haven't encountered anyone else in recent times (and I mean since literally 2008) with whom I shared as much mutual appreciation and attraction with. This began as an online chatting friendship that had been started through a pair of mutual flirts. I moved first, a week went by then she flirted second. I "liked" her flirt (this was on a social forum). Another week, and she PM'ed me. From there it was platonic. After a few weeks somehow it changed, gradually escalated. Nothing raunchy she's too paranoid to do that, say for example here in a two-party Conversation. No "sexting" or whatever the young kids call that today. My point being that you are surely correct that such people as you describe are "out there." I just haven't encountered them. This might help: When this developed out of nowhere I wasn't "looking" for anyone. Once my last attempt in the face-to-face world ended with "just be friends" rather than going elsewhere I concluded I just don't bring enough "value" to establish or sustain a relationship. I just moved on without any, and before long I was old and it was even less likely. I developed several health conditions, making such a thing even less likely still. This woman isn't all-around evil. She is involved in her church, takes part in several volunteer-work activities, worries and cares about her adult children, and stays engaged with her widows/widowers support group years after her husband passed. This relationship was already becoming established before any issues of money ever came up, and even there it wasn't detailed. She had seen pictured of me by then, but I had no clue what she looked like or even her age other than "younger than you" (me). I knew which US State she lived in but no more detail. She could have been Indian, Japanese, black, white, or Martian. It didn't matter. Now, I couldn't confirm "she" wasn't an LGBYT.., person. That would have mattered. Or some 13 year old boys laughing their asses off, or a scammer in Pakistan. I pushed that point which caused that first blowup, eventually got a phone number. The person on the other end seemed like the right person, and I wheedled a photo out of her at one point. Thank you for your thoughtful response Yvonne.
No Beth, I have not. Good points. The sheer level of engagement (4 hours of phone time in the last 24 hours), texting throughout each day, etc. would seem to make it harder to conceal that though. If we can arrange video calling secure enough to overcome her objections we'd start doing that. Why haven't we met? Well, several hundreds of miles of distance for one. And I wasn't actually seeking a relationship at this stage of my life. As I said above, I'm not where I'd want to be yet for that first meeting anyway. I have accelerated the process of getting there though, there is far more motivation for me now. We honestly do care a great deal for each other. Even with her erratic behavior, and probably mine as well in response. So no, neither of us has jumped on planes to fly hallway across the continent. Nor both done it to meet somewhere in the middle. Now, it has to happen for anything to progress at all. Nobody is naïve about that. We discuss it every day (when she is talking - LOL). Certainly it is even possible that face-to-face it might be zero chemistry, ending in a handshake and another return flight sooner than hoped. Then at best salvaging a long-distance friendship from the ashes.
The real issue is "trust." She thinks she "caught me" in something that never happened. I'm not going to confess to something heinous like daring to be privately chatting about an innocuous subject with some other woman when it didn't happen. How dare I share something like the retirement plans I was laying out back in 2003 when my youngest was in college. Plans that message specifically said I had long ago abandoned, as well as why I had. How dare I? Such a message couldn't possibly have been for her, just as it was posted! It's not like she had been regularly asking about my background, thoughts, and plans. {heavier sarcasm} Why wait for Chapter 2 about my current plans which I was now considering abandoning because she had entered my world? Or Chapter 3, exploring a new future plan that included her? Well that just makes sense! Obviously there was cheating going on and this is the evidence! She has not been able to "forgive" the non-event admitting error and overreaction and she insists that it isn't about her trust but my honesty. So my only path would be to be dishonest and "admit" to something that never happened. At that point I'd have "admitted" lying and "proved" myself dishonest. Sorry, I won't back down on that. I'd lose on two counts as well as my integrity and her respect. F*** that noise!