Today I hereby resolve not to put the box back in the cupboard with only two crackers left in it. But "I reserve the right..." LOL
Today I hereby resolve to be a perfect human being. (But reserve the right to be a bitch when necessary.)
Today I hereby resolve to look at my “to do” list more seriously but reserve the right to procrastinate.
Resolutions don't usually work, so can you resolve not to resolve to make any, because if you did you would be resolving which you don't want to do because they don't usually work.