Today I Hereby Resolve - But Reserve The Right

Today I hereby resolve not to put the box back in the cupboard with only two crackers left in it. But "I reserve
the right..." LOL

 

Today I hereby resolve to put in a little time on the stationary bike every day. But...

 

Today I hereby resolve to be a perfect human being. (But reserve the right to be a bitch when necessary.)

 

Today I hereby resolve to wash and put away the produce the same day I bring it home. But...

 

Today I hereby resolve to do less bantering on SoC but

 

Today I hereby resolve to look at my “to do” list more seriously but reserve the right to procrastinate.

 

Resolutions don't usually work, so can you resolve not to resolve to make any, because if you did you would be resolving which you don't want to do because they don't usually work.

 

Today I hereby resolve to make my attempts at humor less subtle. But...

 

Today I hereby resolve to count to 10 before reacting more often. But...

 

Makes perfectly good sense to me.

 

Today I hereby resolve to go through my emails and delete all the ones I don't want to keep but

 

Today I hereby resolve (once again) not to argue with a woman. Even when you win, you lose. But...

 

Today I hereby resolve to let @Jacob Petersheim win the next argument but

 

Today I hereby resolve to ... oh, never mind.