Is it classed as rude …..or just stating fact ….if you say to someone who associates with an obnoxious male/ lover whom she’s known ….6. months …...I’ve known 12 years … This woman is acting like him ….…foul mouthed ….. and I’m tempted to say next time she says something smart to me ….. usually about dancing / or she refers to me “ scar face” cause I had a bad skin cancer removed about 2 years ago which resulted in t having to have a skin graft about the size of a old 50 cent coin which is about 1.1/4 inches wide ….just below my ear ….its not my fault I had cancer… .. Just shows the morals of some ….. Would this statement be or is it classed as rude / crude ?? to say to her ……. “I’m not be surprised what comes out of your mouth …..seeming you’re going out with him ……. yep her language has got worse since she met him … We are usually mild mannered / mind our own business ……but sometimes people get under your skin , this man in his 70s she’s seeing recently abused DH by yelling at him …..…for simply complementing him for having a tie on at a dance which was once common ……but rare to seen now days ….. We ….know and are fully aware this man’s reputation and he’s got a repetition at a thief . and I think that’s why DH was abused …..cause we both seen him going though cupboards in a kitchen after supper with the lights turned off ……and where ladies normally put their purses while dancing . DH just smiled at him ..no sense arguing with idiots …..the man ended up waking away yelling I’m going to get my lawyers onto you …… I’m sure lawyers would have a good chuckle This man got banned from dancing in our area for unwanted sexual advances towards many ladies he’s never been married/ lives in a caravan park So this smart mouth woman/ his girlfriend is about to get a bit of bite back from me real soon Personally IMO it says allot about her…… MORALS …dating a man like that, but she seems to latch onto men with no family ….not hard to guess why ..
Kate, you will never win with uncouth loudmouthed people. Chances are that if you say something to them, they'll just escalate the ugliness. Personally, I would just avoid them if possible.
The older I get, the less I am willing to pay the price of biting my tongue when something needs to be said. And the more I say "that-which-needs-to-be-said" in the moment that it needs-to-be-said, the more measured I can be, because I've not let it eat at me until the vitriol finally spews forth. "Unless you brought a purse, you don't need to be going in there." Yeh, I would say that...and I'd say it just loud enough for others to hear. People like that do not deserve consideration. I address things like that immediately so the person learns that that will be the immediate effect of saying such things, and so I don't have to carry it around in my gut, since it does not belong to me. It's been a tough lesson to learn. I'm not perfect at it, but I carry around a lot less negative stuff than I used to. And I get less negative stuff. People like that can find another target. ps: I'm glad you took care of your health and the only price you had to pay was a barely noticeable imperfection. You made the right choice. I got a dent in my nose from the same thing.
This does not, to me, seem like the statement of a real friend — or, if not a friend, a person with friendly intent. If it were me, I'd see to it that this toxic person never came around me. I applaud you for taking steps to keep the guy from rummaging through the ladies' purses.
She’s not a friend she’s just a lady who gos to the dances we attend ..in fact I’ve hardly ever spoken to her, in prob 6 years we’ve attended that venue dance ( we didn’t attend for over a 18 months due to Covid ) as most were closed on and off @Jenna Parnellson
I like to keep-the-peace. First off 'Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.' Keep the peace with yourself. Since you do not like what she is saying avoid her. She may not like it and may even ask why. Say you feel uncomfortable around her lately but don't tell her why. Why not not tell her? because she will only go ballistic on you to save face. You don't want that. On the other hand just to get it off your chest and you do give her that 'bite' she may do it then too.
Agree with you @Beth Gallagher some seniors are really spiteful / nasty especially so if they think someone else is a better dancer than them ( it’s not competition dancing only social ) Soon after we started dancing in about 2013 a man who now deceased, … said how well we done and how far we’d come since starting which was about 5 months after starting …….well that didn’t go down well, at all ….…with the would be’s if they could be’s … …we were accused of bragging about ourselves . Which we didn’t do ….
Agree @Ken Anderson He and she are loud mouth idiot s and she’s a gold digger in my opinion cause she latches onto single men without any family the last one died not long ago and left his home and $$$ to her so if she’s thinking Harold has got any money / assets think she’s barking up the wrong tree …. ….I've known him 12 years he lived in a town about 50 km from me …….he recently swapped that HOME for a very old onsite caravan in a semi permanent caravan park , I was told by him …himself ….a few months back when he first moved to the outer northern suburbs of Adelaide it was a clean swap .
Surely you don't still regard this woman as a friend? Cut her out of your life....you don't need toxic people like her.
NO NOT A FRIEND …..this is a lady at a dancing venue we attend for social only (Not competition ) ballroom. dancing for seniors , and the man is the same …..attends to the dance we go to @Celia Jenkins
The man and woman I mentioned in first post are NOT FRIENDS ….no way, I’ve barely said a dozen words to her in 6 years we’ve attended the venue …… .Hoarold I mentioned is a different story …he lived in the same country area / attended dances where we did ( in the country areas ) so I know his reputation and he’s been banned / asked to not attend from several dances because of suspected theft and touching women inappropriately. He has just recently started a relationship with the above mentioned woman
We have feelings from people's comments. It is a natural social cohesive response. But people abuse it as they abuse weapons, because they can--it gives them power. But only if you let it give them power. Yes, of course it stings till you remember you know the history. Scars can be badges of courage. It would seem these people go to dances to 'get' something; not because they are social like normal people. Watch out for what they get.
Just keep your cool when around them and don't let them see that anything they do upsets you. It can be difficult to do, but if you prepare yourself before you go the the dances you should be able to pull it off. You can try to prepare responses if you wish, but the best thing to do is just to smile at them and not respond verbally at all.