Just a thought. When I feel the need to do some physical effort, I have a ski machine and a 'total gym' in my basement--the one Chuck Norris represents. I got them very reasonably on craigslist. I like the ski machine most because I can use it standing up as opposed to trying to figure how to get back on my feet after the total gym. No, it is not swimming but it is something and you might like it. I watch a movie or listen to something while I use the ski machine and after a while, I am surprised at how much time has gone by.
@Yvonne Smith - I understand about the balance issue. Since the doctor here took me of Amlodipine - I walk real good. In fact have improved on several areas and have been amazed. Was on that for 7 years! No more foot and leg swelling either. I am very pleased he changed my meds. I still use my cane when outside, as I am terrified of falling. But can stand straight up and walk like I own the cane vs hunched over. Back issues can bring me down though. Oddly Mark is on a higher dose of Amlodipine and does not affect him? @Johnny Forster -thank you .
I had no idea there was such a thing as a "Death With Dignity cocktail", but apparently this has been in place in CA for 8 years, as a result of the End of Life Option Act. Physician-assisted suicide, which licenses clinicians to prescribe lethal drugs for patients to self-ingest, is currently legal in many states and countries. (Info here https://deathwithdignity.org/states/ ) In addition, euthanasia in which clinicians inject lethal drugs intravenously to end a patient’s life, is practiced in many countries. I think I could deal with the physician-assisted version but I don't know if I could actually self-ingest drugs that will kill me. That would really be hard to do for me. When an 85-year-old terminal cancer patient from Santa Rosa CA chose to end his life, he wanted his story told in the hope it would help others. This video is a bit difficult to watch, and sad. (20 min video)
I can't leave the paranormal part of existence included in exitance. The concept of a multi-universe is intriguing as well. The energy that started the universe is said to be greater than that of all the stars in the universe. As vast as existence is why is their intelligent life? What the heck are we supposed to do? To be born then die does not meet my concept of logic. I have no answers, and I am content with that because I don't believe we are supposed to know the answer at this stage.
Are other older people like this? Occasionally I go through periods of "not much time left" thinking. For instance, I bought a new car last week and since then, my thoughts are along the line of, "I really didn't need that car; I don't have much time left." For the most part I feel physically OK and often have to remind myself how old I am. But then I will feel something weird in my body someplace and think that the cancer is back and wonder if I have what it takes to go through that again. Just morbid thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. Getting old is a drag, I have to say.
That's how I felt when we took Bubba in. I started doing math, starting with the fact that my cats usually live into their mid-20s, and considering how old I'll be when Bubba reaches that point, wondering if I have enough time left for another cat. There is something reasonable there, I suppose. I do that when it comes to home repairs, as well. Do I need this to last another forty years?
I'm a bit surprised at how many of us have these thoughts. I suppose it is to be expected, though. I'm a year younger than my mother was when she died, which of course means nothing in the grand scheme of things... but I consider it nonetheless.
Not to brag or seem courageous, but I have no fear of death. I have a fear of poor quality of life - not being able to do things like house cleaning, yard work, driving, any type of independence, etc. Even now, at 71, I often complain (with 4-letter words) about needing to rest after doing some things.
I am with you @Tony Nathanson. No real fear here, but I feel bad for the people I would leave behind and the things I have left undone. I cannot do so many of the things I once did with ease. Some of that is due to age, and some is a result of my broken back and subsequent issues. Hearing loss has made life more difficult as well. I am grateful that I am as capable as I am, and that the TSA people always contest the fact I am over 75 when I leave my shoes on going through screening. (For those of you who don't fly much, shoe removal is no longer required if you are over 75 for some reason)
I was around 41-42 years old when my mother died. She was 67 years old when she died; one month away from turning 68. When I approached 67, (I’m 69) for the most of that year, I thought about me being the same age as she was when she died. I remember thinking at that time that 67 didn’t really seem that old, and it was too young to die. And---I was told that was normal to have a little anxiety as you reached the age that your parent(s) died. I think as we get older, we can’t help thinking about dying because we have less time in front of us than behind us now.
I have these same thoughts when we discuss getting another puppy. We miss having a little furry companion but we don't want to worry about what will happen to them "in the unfortunate event." I'm positive that any of our kids would take our dog since they are all dog people, but still it enters the thoughts. I have been having one of my depressed moods lately, too. For the past several days I have been waking up in the morning, feeling like a weight is pressing on me mentally. I don't "shake it off" as easily as I used to do so I mope around with no interest in anything.