We had been to the wake of a former colleague who died of cancer. His colon cancer spread to his lungs and that's what killed him. It was his sister who was talking with us. Unfortunately, that sister has stage 3 breast cancer. So sad to learn that their 2 siblings, aside from my former colleague, also died of cancer. Their parents were also casualties of cancer. I really am lost for words. What bad genes they have. Come to think of it, man is born, grows to be an adult then grows old, gets sick and die. No matter what we do, we would reach the end of the road. Maybe that fact tells us to accept that we are only tenants in this material world. But what is the purpose of our existence here? Oh, there would be an endless number of answer for that, I'm sure. For me, we existed because of a purpose we do not know so to play it safe, why not enjoy life in this world? It's like being a house guest where you admire the garden, the swimming pool and the food of the host. Wouldn't the host be glad with that reaction of yours?
My childhood best friend belonged to a family like that, I'm surprised she's still alive, she had a big family, lots of aunts and uncles, etc. everyone on her mother's side died of some type of cancer. Her only sister died at 23 of leukemia. Her mom died young of some other cancer. We were seniors in HS when that happened. At first they thought it was her gall bladder but when they opened her up, it was everywhere. I don't know why we're here or if we have a purpose but we will all die, some sooner, some later. Just the way it is. Doesn't bother me, as long as it's quick. It will be over in a flash. Best way is to just not wake up.
The basic thing is that we all have to leave. No one gets to stay. We exit because of the consequences of our bad habits, poor genetics, exposure to toxins, or by accident. Our purpose is to commune with each other and with God. To help when we can, encourage others when we can, to love and be loved. Most of us do nothing that calls for national attention. What matters at the time of death? Were we happy? What do other remember of us? What we did to them and what we did for them.
@Corie Henson This line from the "Gambler" has stuck with me over many years: "The best we can hope for, is to die in our sleep". How appropriate, when you think about it!
I've thought of things like this though maybe not related to cancer. My mother survived Nazi Germany and the bombings of Dresden. And I've actually wondered for what. She married an American GI. That didn't end well. Three kids and I don't think any of us have been particularly happy. We are all working law abiding citizens but I'm not so sure life has been easy for any of us. Both my older brothers have kids. I'm the youngest and never had kids. I've wondered why I've even been here.
I'm sure you meant something to somebody, Kitty. We are here because our parents had sex and we were the outcome of that. Just perfect timing that it was us. 5 minutes later and it could be some other person that would be the oldest child in my family. At this point in life though, I feel I don't have much of a purpose anymore and maybe that's good, makes it easier to accept a scary diagnoses, to not fear death....kind of gloomy but that's how I feel.
Life is filled with triumphs, as well as tragedies,and we need to handle them both well. I thank God for my life....for being born....for living in this world, and for finding his help every day! We are mortals, bound for eternity, and I trust God and his promises of eternal life!
That's a fateful post, @Chrissy Page, I don't know what to say. But I think you are right with that line in accepting than fearing. It is natural for people to desire live for long but with no major health issues. Yesterday I visited my mother and she's looking good compared to my previous visit. But she's still bed-ridden, couldn't talk and couldn't even feed herself. In short, she is a vegetable to be taken care of otherwise she wouldn't survive. Sometimes I think of how my mother feels now. Can she still taste the food? Does she understand what we are talking about since she sometimes laugh when there is something funny? So many questions in my mind that sometimes I pray that my mother can rest in peace.
It's very hard to see you're mother like that I'm sure, Corie. It's really not living anymore and in the end my mom was in a similar way. Only thing keeping her alive was the ventilator, feeding tube and antibiotics she was being given to fight infection after infection. They were giving her meds to raise her falling BP. June 3 rd I got the call to make the decision to put her on palliative care. Besides the day that she died, June 4th that was one of the worst days of my life. I'm hoping she died in peace like they said. I'm just not coping very well since then....I get through my day somehow but I only start to perk up a little when I know it's bedtime soon.
Chrissy reading some of your posts makes my heart ache for you. I pray that your heart finds its wings again soon.
From my experience at the death of my elder brother, the worst regret I had to face was the fact that towards the end there were a few days that i wasn't there all day. On the day of his death, I have an uncontrollable urge to visit him in the hospital, I did go but I went home at early dawn to catch my sleep. He died as I was sleeping at home. I had a bad time later dealing with my conscious that i wasn't with him at the crucial time of his crossing.
@Chrissy Page Sleep is a healing essence, Chrissy, an "anointment" for the mind, if you will. I myself use sleep to erase thoughts of my wife's brother, whom I loved and respected, and who died on his 25th. birthday of natural causes. His death alone threw my own life into turmoil, divorce, moving, fear, uncertainty. My Mother helped sustain me. My Dad was by then dead 5 years, she had weathered the loss well. She spoke up in my behalf when I told her we were separating, insisting she leave her home near Chicago to help me weather the difficulties (I was in my last semester at UNLV, trying to secure my BS Degree). I was distraught, felt betrayed by my young wife of 12 years standing, though I fully understood her feelings. I thought about how sweet death appeared to be. My Mother sensed it. She talked good, common sense into her only son's misguided head, and I continued my studies, obtaining my B.S. Engineering Degree, thanks in large part to her unwavering belief in a son gone temporarily "round the bend". Frank
Yes, it's when other things happen besides the death of a loved one that it's harder. I experienced the death of my husband and went through the grieving process but I coped. With my mom something snapped in me and I can't shake it, I haven't even really thought of my moms death yet. I would never think of suicide but I just don't care anymore.