I think that people can disagree on something and as long as each person is being respectful of the other person's opinion, and is stating reasons why they think differently, and not just saying that the other person is wrong, or even that their opinion about something is wrong or stupid (even when we think it is), then the discussion can be productive. If someone posts something that I disagree with, then I should be explaining my reasoning why I disagree. Then that person can read what my reasons were and give a rebuttal of why they think my reasons are wrong. Even if we never come to an agreement about the subject, we have each explained why we think/feel as we do , and been respectful of how the other person thinks/feels about that subject. The subject of gun control is a great example of this kind of discussion. People who live in other countries where they have never had the right to own whatever weapons they wanted to simply can't understand why Americans want to own guns, and they have a totally different mindset about our gun laws than many of us that live here in the United States have. Just saying that guns should or should not be banned is not the same as discussing the reasons why they should or should not be allowed. I seems like most of the time we manage to stay on topic here and not take offense at the person with opposite thoughts, and I think people usually feel safe posting in any subject that interests them. I hate arguments, but I love discussions. Since I know that most of the time, people are not going to change their opinions by what I say, arguing about it doesn't make any sense, once I have said what I think and why I think it, unless there are new valid points to consider and discuss.
I understand but trying to prove a point is very hard when of course what you're trying to prove will be from sources that state your view and the other person uses sources that state theirs. There really aren't any neutral sites anymore.
I think that leeway is vital, @Ken Anderson . If a forum gets overly strict and starts dictating what people can and can't say, then it's stepping on amendment rights... and truthfully, so many of our constitutional rights are being taken away, not many people would put up with it on a forum unless it's a no-brainer that's crossing the line. I certainly agree that you don't need to (and shouldn't) step in to stop disagreements. It's hard, but there's the free speech thing. Now, that said, there are lines that can't be crossed. First and biggest to me is name-calling. I've seen some horrid things in comment sections of things like news stories on Facebook. When things cross from "I disagree and here's why" to "you idiot!" then I sure wouldn't let it go. Truly can't see *that* happening here, though. As for some thinking you should step in sooner... I don't agree with that. Everyone here is over 50, not 15 where someone may have to "step in with a stick" when there's an argument. To go a step further, someone thinking you should have "cracked the whip" instead of letting *adults* settle their differences just *may* be trying to stir up drama. Don't know, but... possibility. I see some opinions sometimes (yes, even here ) that make me cringe and I may be get a tad "loud" sometimes... but by golly, you won't be hearing me calling anyone names. At least not in public. JUST kidding!
I've been thinking about this one and I can't figure out how I feel. I think personally if someone would say my ideas and beliefs are stupid, I wouldn't be a very happy Mari. On the other hand, if *I* think someone's ideas are stupid, I'm not going to probably shut up and feel stifled about it, but I'd probably be a little more gentle and say something like "I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me" and then go on to explain why.
I think that depends on what follows. For myself at least, I'm thinking that if you say, "That's a stupid idea," and then go on to explain why it's a stupid idea, I might have wished you'd have used a gentler word but I don't know that I would describe it as a personal attack, while if you were to simply say, "That's stupid," and then leave it at that, it starts to look more like a personal attack.
Stupid is the wrong word, I shouldn't have used that but sometimes I'll read something that is off the wall impossible but I can't find a link to prove it, I was just wondering how can you say that without insulting the person? Also when you don't believe the source of links people post and they don't believe yours...in the end it's all pointless. I see very little truth on the internet.
Ohhhhhhhhh! Well then absolutely I'm with you there. It's happened to me in the past. I see something here (or did back then rather) and I know it's propaganda and I get worried that someone might actually believe it, and I feel I need to swoop in and set the record straight because my main peeve is injustice... yes. It *is* pointless sometimes. I do understand that no matter what I say, someone who has a great need to push his or her own agenda, or that of a group I think is wacko, will be able to find some other wacko posting something on the 'Net to make their point and post it as if it's gospel. It's maddening. How to say something is ridiculous without insulting the person... golly, you got me there. Some people are so touchy that you say nothing more than "I don't agree" and they have a hissy fit.
The problem is I think by the time we've gotten to the nasty point, were all upset and BPs are rising and people are calling in the troops to whichever side they're on. You can tell ahead of time if you've been on the forum who will like what post. Then things get out of hand and it has nothing to do with the topic anymore. Some people can remain cool and don't give a rats behind the personalities on a forum but there are those like me who take things personally and have a need to right every wrong. It's my personality and I've found that it's very hard to have a honest debate or discussion on a forum when you have people that think differently. But it also means you are passionate about the forum. If you can post and just walk away and it doesn't affect you I feel you really don't care about the forum. This is just my opinion and how I see things. What is a pet peeve with me is name calling and that goes for public figures you don't care for. I didn't vote for Obama in either election and I don't care for him but it gets my goat when people call him all kinds of stupid made up names. I also hate it when the left call Trump names too. Even if I'm on your side in the argument, doing that just puts me off. Rant over....going to the store.
I agree Janice but you do need differing opinions or it can become very boring. Everybody agreeing with everything that is said. I think the trick is to find the perfect balance without people getting so upset that they can't sleep. I'm sure there are people that don't take things to heart but I'm not one of them. I admit I can get ugly when pushed and I'm working on that. I'm really not all angel.
Sure, people have a wide range of opinions on probably every topic that exists, but it's the approach that matters.
Yes - this is why this forum is working for me so far. I've found that the few discussions (I've not been here long) in which I've participated and in which I've held different opinions to some other participants have been respectful and balanced. And - most enjoyably - made me think !
I like that this is a supportive environment where people don't go out of their way to irritate others. There are some threads I prefer over other ones, and I tend to hang in those sections. I like the people here, and it's a nice place to come with a lot of variety, and as someone mentioned, it's not a dead site, like some of the ones I visit, so it's not boring. I have enough stress and conflict in my life that I'm not looking for that sort of engagement online, and there's always something to learn on here, since it's a diverse group, and everyone has different areas of knowledge and experience.
I like that this site has humor, the posters are not ill spirited, and that it contains all kinds of opinions. It is nice to go some place where my age group is the focus and that we remember the same songs, the same tv and movie shows.
I'm sitting here reading all this good stuff, smacking into my harmonica some of the old songs I remember, and in spite of all the world's problems, thinking life is good.