We all know certain little things we do as individuals tend to irritate our spouses. Some of them are repeat offenders. In my case, some things my wife finds irritating, just make no sense to me at all, which encourages me to repeat the offense now and then, on purpose. Example: My car door remote. One click locks all the doors, but two clicks locks the doors, and "chirps" the horn. If I do the horn bit, she gets very displeased! Try to explain that the horn confirms that the computer has detected all locks set, to no avail. Do you experience any such moments? C'mon now, 'fess up! Frank
I'm so glad someone started this thread. The mention of doing things on purpose is all to familiar to me with Johnny. He is passive agressive and instead of telling me things that I do that annoy him he does things 'on purpose' to annoy me. One thing is leaving hair in the sink after he shaves. Ughhh!
It annoys me that men call it 'nagging' The 'only' reason we have to repeat the request is because its never adhered to, they keep doing the same thing ! Why ? ................I only have to be told 'once' and I never do the nuisance thing again - truth In all me married life, there has only been 2 times, that I have been told. I am fully aware a repetitive action is irritating Whereas the husband - too many times ......................
My X wifey used to babble. She'd babble on and on and on and.....You get the idea. It went like this. "I saw Cathy in town today, and she said, Blah blah blah". "Then I said, Blah blahblah blah". "And she told me, Blah, blah". Sometimes these dialogs would go on for some time, until silence. Story was over. But, not knowing when to shut up, I would say, "So, what did you say then"? "I just said, blah blahblah". "What did she say then"? About here is where my X would catch on and yell something sounding very much like, "Oh, just STFU".
I read this thread, and thought about it a lot. With any two people, married or not, there will always be differences in how we do things. As an example, @Frank Sanoica and the car locks. We seldom even lock the car; but if we do have to lock it, I always stand right beside it and push the button and watch the locks go down. I had no idea that pushing it twice would make the horn chirp to let me know it was locked; but even so, I don't see any reason to "chirp " it when I can see it locking right in front of my eyes. However, that would not upset me if Bobby did chirp it when we locked it, and he would never continue to do something just because it did upset me. Nor would I continue to do it, if I knew it upset him. That rationality simply does not make sense to me. Why deliberately annoy someone that you love ? In any case, here is my take on the whole thing, and I think that @Bobby Cole feels about the same way as I do. We have both been married before, and mine was a very abusive relationship, physically and mentally. I can't stress how totally HAPPY I am to have a husband who treats me the best that he can, doesn't berate me for my faults, and is my best moral support. I feel SAFE living with Bobby, and even if we have little habits that irritate each other, they are like nothing compared to what my life was like before.
@Yvonne Smith - great post and agree totally with you I may make light of the thread but even though we have been married a long time and are devoted he does irk me, 'cos I do have to mention things a lot I just think, if I can do it, why can't you ......... Then - as you say, things could be a lot worse I appreciate 'all' the good things in our marriage and tolerate the little things that send me loopy
One thing that many people do not realize is that there are times when we guys actually hear you ladies but cannot listen. I say "Cannot" because we find it hard to listen to two things at the same time. In test studies, men and women were both seated in front of a TV with a show playing while another person would be reading something from a book to them. When asked what they saw and heard women scored much higher on the tests. They could recall what was being read and what they saw and heard on the TV. Men however, rarely got both right. They either recalled what was said and seen on the TV or heard what was being read. It has everything to do with how a gender's brains are wired. Another thing that happens is that men compartmentalize thoughts and actions whereas women have a great tendency to group everything togeather. While we guys might be fairly good at multi-tasking but we cannot stand up to things such as watching 3 kids at the same time the way the ladies can. We do very well at solving problems one problem at a time whereas the ladies have a habit of trying to solve all of them at one time which generally winds up as a stress factor for both parties. Guys, you're gonna hate me for this but if you ladies would just give us a list and let us go through them one at a time in the order that we deem important then all might be a little better on the home front.
Good post Bobby I won't do the list, I'll just keep on trying, although its pointless I guess we're all set in our ways, that's why I stay calm and use humour, we are both on the same page there thank goodness - no need to fight when you can laugh at being irked - does that make sense, I hope so
Sometimes, my wife will spend too much time on her iPhone playing games. When she does that, she doesn't go thru some of the paperwork stuff, in plastic bins, she needs to go thru and put in the trash so we don't have to pay Movers to take the stuff to wherever we move. Basically, she has to give herself a "push", along with my complaining to do it. Because of the work environment I was in, and around, for years (warehousing/forklifts, CNC Machines/Drill Presses, driving 5-ton truck) and being in the Navy, I automatically can have a loud voice. That is, when the tv, washer/drying, dishwasher, AC/Heat is on, etc.. Basically, my wife has one level of voice, because most of her working career was inside an office. Sometimes she thinks I yelling something at here and then I have to let her know what is on/running in the apartment. My higher voice sounds like I'm yelling, but in reality, I'm just talking above noise in our apartment. There are times that she will drive faster that I think she should. I'll look at her and say, "Hey, weren't not at the Daytona Race Track". We will both laugh and she will slow down. Other than that, my Queen does absolutely nothing to annoy me. In fact, every morning, before she goes to work, I bow to her..........only kidding, but LOL.
My husband is a sort of perfectionist that he would always call my attention on petty matters like leaving the slippers (when I change to shoes) there should be a "perfect" place for the slippers. So petty that I sometimes would answer back to spite him. But as years pass, I have learned to adapt to his style of living that I have become a good follower. And I was right because we were able to maintain harmony that way - he leads, I follow.
There is no such thing as two people who live together, who do not at some or many points, get aggravated at the other. It's natural but it's how we handle said problems that makes us a good couple or not so much. My wife and I will always have something we disagree upon because we are two different people with different ideas concerning a multitude of subjects. That said we do absolutely know which *buttons* to stay away from and which ones we can push at certain times to tease each other just for fun. We know each other's looks such as her "knitting look" which stands as a pretty good warning that there is either confusion or a bit of anxiety in the mix. Long and short, we're not a perfect couple by any means but we're pretty much perfect for each other. Neither one of us continually leads but instead work to make each other happy thereby making ourselves happy as well. She's the lady of the house and I'm the man and we both have pretty much left the sandbox behind us and do things as loving adults. And that's all I have to say about that or maybe I should ask my wife if that's all I have to say about that...............
Something along these lines occurs quite often in my house. I will be in my office or upstairs talking to one of my cats, when my wife calls from her office. Her: "What?" Me: "I didn't say anything." Then I go back to talking to my cat. Her: "What do you want?" Me: "I don't want anything. What are you talking about?" Her: "You're saying something." Me: "I'm talking to Cutie. Quit butting in on our conversation." Her: "Oh. I thought you were talking to me." Her: "Wait a minute. Cutie is deaf." Me: "That's why I'm talking so loudly. Besides, I think she can read lips."
The things my Honey does that irritate me are: He often leaves the toilet seat up...this is not a good thing to do when his wife gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. He asks me to set the alarm for a certain time, but then when the alarm goes off he hits the snooze button 4 or 5 times before getting up...which wakes me up every time the alarm goes off again and again. Other than that...I married Mr. Perfect for me!