When is it too late to start over? This question has been at the front of my subconscious for sometime now. Sometimes our whole way of being, and lifestyle, changes or disappears, without concern for our desires. So we must let it all go. We have no choice in the matter. That way of life has died. Not so easy to do, I find. There is no going back, so we must go forward. But how to accomplish this is the difficulty. When I was younger, and my world blew up, I always had someone that needed caring for, so on my struggles would continued. Plus there was the knowledge that my future could be long, and must be filled someway. But I always needed to travel on with some sort of meaning, or those dependent on me would suffer as well. In less than two months, I will have lived longer than any of the women in my family, and the future does not seem so long. Now the plan is to sell all, move to a small town, and try to rebuild my life once again. There is nothing here for me anymore. But I seem to be so tired, and it seems as if things just blew up, instead of almost two years ago. So how do I fight now? Where do I find the motivation? How would you start all over at 65 or older?
Ina You are still young at age 65 to start over. I am 82 and had to start a new life for myself two years ago so I do relate to your situation somewhat. Much of starting over has to do with our personal finances, present and long term. I have no problem with personal finances but there are other things that have made it difficult for me.
I wish I knew the answer, @Ina I. Wonder ..we are almost the same age and almost in the same boat but different sets of circumstances (don't know if that's the right word). I'm having a difficult time making a decision to leave Fresno and move in with my daughter. I'm tired. The whole thing scares me sometimes, I'm not happy here but will I be happy there?.....don't know what to do and when to do it either. I'm no help....
Actually @Chrissy Page, you have been quite a bit of help in the last almost 3 years I've known you. I have watched you fight to find meaning in your life as well. And, you have some grand babies to keep you young at heart. I think you'd be happier if you lived with your daughter. Her children are older than your son's, and although they will need you, they probably won't run you ragged. That would cut your driving travel time down quite a bit, and you would have more energy for air travel and your son's boys. But I can also see that you might have to give up some of your independence. But you would also be more active, and that would maybe give you the energy to take on more social activities.
I relate to every word Ina. For me it's a feeling that comes over me, more often than not lately. Staying busy at something is what I have to try to do, but I haven't been at all lately. The weather I can blame for not getting outdoors, which really does help me. I don't have anyone family-wise, and I get this "call of the wild" that makes me want to turn my truck into a camper and just wander. I have income, but not having roots and a home would be stupid for me. But when I was younger, I loved that freedom. I think I start over every day now. Right now I am sitting in my recliner wondering if I should take some Naproxin my doc just prescribed today. I hate taking stuff, but it hurts so maybe I'll try a dose. I know it's also over the counter, but this is a larger/prescription dose. It's sunny out, so I'll try a little walk too. Anyway, I don't know if it helps Ina, but I think the same things some days. I'm so blessed, and nice folks living all around me in these Senior Apartments I live in, beautiful place, the ocean is just 1.5 miles. Maybe we both just need to count our blessings I'm grateful we have folks here to talk to, and we have internet hugs, denise
@Chrissy Page it really does get scarey, moving as we get older. And losing all our privacy, when we want it etc. I wish there were a happy medium. I don't think I could live with anyone. Is there a way you could just move into your own place but be much closer to your daughter? I wish it could be like on The Golden Girls (but that wasn't reality). All those gals lived together and were great friends, even though they definitely had their differences/fights. I just feel afraid a lot of the time to be honest. But I think that whoever said "the only thing to fear is fear itself" something like that. I feel like I am at a weird age, still to young and able for some things, but too old for others Mom tried to tell me there would be times like this, LOL!
@Ina I. Wonder , yes I think you are right. The pros definitely outway the cons. Now that my life is settled....let's work on yours....thanks. It's funny how are lives have weaved through forums and FB through the years......now here we are, at a crossroads....you in your moccasins and me in my flip flops. Thanks for being my friend.
@Denise Happyfeet , that would be financial suicide for me....I'd have a hard time. Places are more expensive on the coast by her. Yes, the Golden Girls would be great if life was like that.....wishful thinking!
Ina, my friend, you sure have rolled a barrel full of questions through the door! I like the word "adapt" better than "start over". As we age. we all ask that same question "When is it too late to adapt"? The answer is it is never too late. We live one day's worth of life at a time, and then lay our heads to sleep and rest. We awake to a new world, that has changed overnight. With Divine help, we find the strength and peace to carry us through each new day. We adapt, and move forward, eager to finish the race that is set before us. If you root through your barrel, you will find that you have many answers there, as well. You have spent a lifetime adapting, and have a deep wisdom within you, You will not become overwhelmed by life's changes. God bless you!
@Denise Happyfeet, you my lady are an inspiration. How you manage to hold yourself together in the last few years I envy. You my friend are a very strong minded person. So love yourself a bit, and go get that puppy. A little doggy doesn't eat that much, and a lot of shelter's have senior prices for continued vet care. A pup would keep you company, talk to you, walk with you, and just plain give you lots of loving kisses.
Thank you @Joe Riley for reminding me. Sometimes it is easy to forget. I think I just need to get my health in balance again so that my spirits can rise again. But I admit it's good to hear how other's deal with the doldrums.
I don't feel tough, but after reading @Joe Riley's words, I know we can carry on no matter what. I think you are right too about the doggy. There are so many in need of homes, and I can only have a little one here at my place. They don't allow over 25 lbs, so, that's ok for me, easy to bath, and wouldn't drag my arm out of the socket when walking, LOL @Joe Riley is so right, we've come all this way, and I forgot to remember that God's gotten us this far, He isn't going to leave us now When I did my last move, I was afraid, but when I got busy packing etc. I started to get excited, and off on a new adventure I think I am an adventure junkie But staying in one place and having roots will be good
Yes. At my daughter's my widows benefits would be mine etc to spend as I please. She wouldn't ask me to contribute anything and living there I would have all the luxuries they do. I could actually save money. My own place, rent would eat most of my money and all that goes with living on your own. I'd have to find a place that allows dogs...most do allow small ones but not all....here and there I just open the door and let him out...in apt I'd have to get up early and walk him which ive never done with him to pee. I could go on and on....so not just financial but comforts too.
Oh wow, that sounds wonderful, if I remember right, their place is big too! You would probably be able to spend "alone" time in your room which could be like a little apartment anyway!! That's still in CA right @Chrissy Page ? Hope so, I like knowing some of you are here on the West Coast