Dozing a bit this morning after having my breakfast of the last slice of Plum Kolach, my wife suddenly hollered from the kitchen: She spotted an obituary in the Fort Wayne (IN) paper: Gary DeCamp, died Oct 19. I met Gary in 1991, we both worked for Sears in Phoenix. During the '90s, he and I travelled extensively, often together, often meeting at the Store designated. We went as far as El Paso, Farmington (NM), Roswell (NM), and all over AZ. Gary was born in a little town in Ohio, not far from Fort Wayne, IN. He was an excellent storyteller. I learned he quit smoking due to his kids tearfully asking him to stop; they didn't want him to die. Moved by their request, he quit. He and his wife moved from Ohio to Arizona on medical advice. Marie had extreme allergies, and the thought was the drier climate would be beneficial. He greatly resembled Ned Beatty, a fact I mentioned once. He admitted to having been mistaken now and then for Ned! The last time I saw him was in the late '90s, before I left the Phoenix area. Thought of him, now and then, over the years, and now, the nice, smiling, face of Gary DeCamp looks up at me from the tabletop, in his obituary. I once asked him about the T-V personality, Rosemary DeCamp. He said, yep, no relation. Obit says he worked for Sears until 2009; I quit in 1999. His wife preceded him in death, and I gather he moved back to the Fort Wayne area after retiring, to be near his kids. Rest in Peace, old friend! Frank
This obit thing is what I am avoiding to read. Even in the social media, I am saddened to read announcement of deaths in the family mostly of people I do not really know. But still, it is about death. Maybe I am over acting but isn't it like we are being reminded of where we are going when we read obituaries? In the olden days, the obituaries are usually in the daily paper but now it is more in the social media. Everything changes except death, huh.
The last person I know who's death had a real impact on me was my second cousin, simply because she was really quite young. Someone posted on her obit, that she was the nicest person they ever knew. I was thinking cynically to myself, but yeah, what did it get her? Caring too much about others, and not enough about yourself is not good either. Also, my sister's father in law's death was surprising, because I didn't know he was ill. He was nearly dead from cancer, before his son's intervened and insisted he go to the hospital. I think he was in there less than 24 hours.
@K E Gordon Is it really preferable to detect a serious illness like that through routine check-ups? If untoward symptoms are not present, and cancer is detected, I guess more of them are today curable than years back. But some types are not curable at all. Some cause intense pain, which cannot be ignored, even if the disease was not previously detected. I just don't know....... Frank
My most favorite aunt died of pancreatic cancer. She didn't like going to the doctor. I don't know when that started because she had two pregnancies, gave birth to two daughters... Anyway, I believe she knew she was ill and still didn't go to get checked out. Her husband told my Mom that she said if she was going to die then let her die which threw my mother into an awful spin. They were very close. My uncle called an ambulance when she was so bad he couldn't take it any more. At the hospital her youngest daughter convinced her to take one test and promised her that nothing else would be done. That test proved that cancer was present and beyond any type of treatment. They kept her comfortable until she passed on. I also believe that my uncle knew because he passed on a year later.
@Von Jones So very often I have heard this expressed: a couple together for many years is so inexplicably close emotionally, that when one passes on, for whatever reason, the other, in reasonably good health, follows. I have never resolved this in my mind realistically. My own Grandma, my Mother's mother, having lived with "Old Joe", (I don't believe they were ever married), since my Grandpa committed suicide, passed away leaving Joe alone. We loved him. He was a most hard-working provider, totally dedicated to my Grandma in every way. He had no health issues we knew of, yet, a few months after her passing, he died in his sleep. We believe he just could not live without her. I missed them both terribly. For they had met, and endorsed, my first and only girlfriend, Sue, whom I married after they were both gone. They welcomed her into our family early on, as though they knew we would be married, thinking perhaps they would leave before. Joe loved Sue, calling her "Soo-see", in his middle-European dialect. My Grandma died late in the Fall of 1964, old Joe in February, 1965. Sue and I married on July 18, 1965. How I miss all of them! Frank
@Frank Sanoica I also have heard of this happening to couples who have shared a very long life together. Many have described it as a broken heart. My grandparents died four years apart but I feel that my grandmother died of a lonely and broken heart. These two departures were my first experience with death and affected me deeply especially my grandfather who passed away first.