One Liners

This is one of the funniest comedians from Hawaii Any Bumatai:




Another comedian is Frank Delima

 

Winston Churchill said 'All babies look like me when they're born'

 

He thought he was wrong once but he was mistaken.

 

If I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

 

yesterday i went to buy some rat poison. the gal behind the counter said you want me to wrap it up or eat it here??

vaaboooom

 

May you be in heaven 30 minutes,before the devil finds out.......John Wayne in The Undefeated

 

@Gloria Mitchell - ha ha - I used to have that saying on the wall of me porch
It was on a plate from Ireland with little shamrocks around the quote

 

Yes...believe Babe Ruth said that.

 

Just realised, this thread is in the wrong place - oh well, it was early days for me
Here we go again …..
Famous footballer who was also an alcoholic said - 'In 1969 I gave up sex and booze ………… It was the worst
20 minutes of my life !'

One tequila - two tequila, three tequila - floor !

 

To err is human.....to really screw up, you need a computer.

 

"I don't care if your name is Santa Claus; get your hand out of my stocking!"

 

Saw a comedian last night, the compere said - 'what's in the bag ?'
He replies - 'me nerves - the bag always comes with me'

(get it - bag of nerves )

 

That last line is from the Bard of Avon.
Harry

 

Babe Ruth