A businessman went into the office and found a pretty blonde painting the walls. The woman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked her why she was wearing the parkas on such a hot day. She then showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.”
"Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery." "Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night." *PMSL*
One day a man with an elephant walks into a movie theater. “I’m afraid I can’t let your elephant in here, sir,” the manager says. “Oh, I assure you, he’s very well behaved,” the man says. “All right then,” the manager says. “If you’re sure. …” After the movie, the manager says to the man, “I’m very surprised! Your elephant was well behaved, and he even seemed to enjoy the movie!” “Yes, I was surprised, too,” says the man. “He hated the book.”
How dare they delete one of my pics. A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”