I know that I'm not immune to envy, probably none of us are. Envy and jealousy are powerful emotions. Their force comes from the fact that they propel people into destroying themselves If you find yourself overspending just to keep up with the “social media Joneses”, you might want to reconsider your strategy. I have found that those who have learned to be content with who they are, and what they have, are the people who have lives others are truly envious of
I envy no one or no object. Got what I need and even tho it may not match or be pleasing to a visiting eye..it is mine or ours and we owe no one
I envy people who have no health issues. I also envy people with faith, who never question their beliefs.
The problem with The Jonses ("social media" or otherwise) is that appearances can be deceiving. There can be tons of debt behind that lifestyle...or tons of B.S. I've been fortunate in growing up with very little materially (not that I knew it at the time), so rather than my memories being that of "never enough," they have mostly been of finding ways to be satisfied that have not required cash outlays or "stuff"...and those ways have stuck with me. I'm extremely grateful that at this point of my life I do not worry about my needs being met.
As it is written in that Fantastic thread, Your Philosophical One Liners, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but it’s also harder to mow”. To be honest, people who envy others for what they have in the material world tick me off. Generally speaking, they do not want something “like” another person has, they want “WHAT” that person has. They want someone else’s spouse, money, fame, house, car, body or whatever else someone else has and because they can’t have it they hate the person who does. If I like what someone else has and I can’t figure out how to do it or get it, I go and ask how they did it or got it and go from there.
I sometimes will envy someone who has a nice boat, house or vehicle. People who own horses or run a ranch or farm. When we watch one of the "house remodeling" programs on HGTV, like Property Brothers or Love It or List It, I get jealous of those young folks who end up paying out so much money for a remodel of their home or are able to buy a very nice home. I can envy those that can take Cruises or travel to places that I'd love to see. However, I love it when I know there are folks that envy my marriage, like my wife's older sister. Her husband didn't help her clean their condo and was always complaining about his wife flying somewhere.
My take on "The Haves": In most cases that have made sacrifices I am unwilling to make (assuming I have the knowledge and skills to even "be them.") Those who have so much often have little time to enjoy it. They are "living to work." I've often acknowledged my gratitude for people like that, because they are making the sacrifices required to keep my sources of employment alive and well. They kill themselves so that I don't have to...I can choose a "middle way" of being. I imagine we've all put in extra work hours when required, but generally speaking we've mostly had the very real/very modern luxury of being reasonably secure and having an abundance of free time, historically speaking. I thank those who are so driven (or even obsessed) by whatever it is that pushes them, because in large measure I benefit directly from the fruits of their labor...and I can [reasonably] choose which lifestyle I wish to pursue. I have no right to be envious of them. In fact, they have every right to be resentful of me (should they chose to play this game) as they look down from their penthouse offices at me driving out of the parking lot at 5PM every afternoon to enjoy the rest of my day, while theirs is just getting started. We all know that having a good job is something to be grateful for...that's why politicians are always trying to steal credit for "creating" them. Lastly, we are not resentful of what other people have, we are resentful at what we think they have, or what those things represent to us. And how in the heck could I envy someone's marriage???? That's beyond creepy. I got no idea what really goes on behind closed doors, nor do I really care, other than wishing folks success and happiness. Most likely, there are times that they envy my being single and unattached (not that either state of being is all good or all bad...nothing is perfect.)
What I find much more prevalent, than envy of the Joneses, is resentment of the guy down the street because he is getting food stamps, or unemployment benefits. This "baffles" me.
If you mean there are people who resent food stamp recipients, I imagine that's more anger than resentment.
I understand the sentiment. If someone is drawing unemployment then at some point they had a job. Rather than resent that fellow I feel a little sorry that I have so much. What does drive me a little crazy though is when I see folks spending $50 or so at the convenience store buying soda, potato chips and candy with their food stamps. The other thing is when a food stamp recipient is out there pimping off their food stamps for alcohol, tobacco or drugs. Nothing to envy there.
I guess what I don't understand is, things like you describe are the exception, not the rule. It's not worth even thinking about them, imo. But some obsess over it. Even those that pay no taxes.
@Beth Gallagher There is no one on this beautiful planet who is free from problems, one way or the other. As the old saying goes and not widely accepted, "we have to suffer for the sins of our forefathers". About faith and belief, its each individual's choice. I get great comfort in my belief. About the Joneses, rightly so "all show and no substance "
For the 22 years I was single/divorced, I really envied those couples that I saw in happy marriages, or what appeared to be a happy marriage. Since I was a "marriage minded" type of guy, I definitely didn't like it when my wife filed for divorce. Then again, she ended up not wanting a "cowboy" type who spent money on his horse and entering rodeos. Actually, I should've known better not to marry her, or even get involved with her. She came from a much, much wealthier family than I did. Some people love being single, while others, like wife and I, hated it. Now, what's really funny, when it comes to the word "envy", is those that think wife and I are rich. Why? Because we have a boat. That hilarious, since our boat is a 1992. Definitely not new or close to it. Some folks aren't bothered at all by living the "no thrills" lifestyle. Very little for electronic and very little-to-no travel at all. And, they have the money for both.