My Mother Past Away Last Year

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Thomas Stillhere, Dec 15, 2021.

  1. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    She was close to 90 but had a very bad infection from a long ago knee replacement. She was tough as nails and the center piece of the family for the past 50 years. My Grandmother raised me from 4 days. I spent all my young life in Houston and was born at a very small two story Doctors Hospital. The building is still there but it is only a matter of time before it will be bulldozed. Recently they installed trail rail in front so I know time is not in the buildings future. Just about every landmark of Houston in my life has already gone. I am out living many of the people who were close to me and I feel so bad for them. My ex wife of years ago died 2 years ago and one week later my younger brother, then 6 months later it was my Mother. I am still staying one or two paces in front of the reaper, he will have to run faster. ;0)

    My Mother at 4, 5 and a teen at the opening of WWII going to Catholic School while my Grandmother worked at Todd shipyard welding on Liberty ships. For a time Grandmother was welding on Army Tanks in a small factory hastily setup just off the now Gulf Freeway. I never saw the Tank making place because it was removed for new business but I do know it was very close to the old Buff Stadium.

    Mother 4 years OKC.jpg Mother 5 years.jpg Mother Girls Catholic School Bellaire Tx 1942.jpg
     
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  2. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your family members, Thomas. I'm right there with you, except on a different time scale.

    My British mother passed away younger than yours (82) and was born before yours (1924.) She lived outside of London during WW2, and met my father when he was over there fighting the big one. About 3 years ago, I experienced the deaths of other people close to me, all clustered together. One of them died of liver cancer from a blood transfusion she got decades earlier from a hysterectomy. I've commented elsewhere that my male relatives all die young: father at 55, older brother at 53, younger brother at 60 (coming up on 3 years ago.) I'll be 68 next spring and still wonder how I got these bonus years.

    I've not visited where I spent my early years (lived in Indiana until I turned 9), but the town I lived in outside of DC since the early 60s changed so many times over that I long ago lost track of "what used to be there." The stupid thing about towns in the Northern Virginia region is that all the original business districts got abandoned for indoor malls, strip malls and the like. Then those fell into disfavor (humans have such sort attention spans.) After people tired of the malls, the old business districts got revitalized (at least, those that had not been razed), but this time they were populated with high-dollar boutique industries ($7 ice cream cones), specialty clothing stores and expensive restaurants...definitely not for the folks who were raised there.

    This is the G.C. Murphy store in Arlington VA my father managed years ago. The sales floors are ground level and basement, while the stockrooms and offices are the two upper floors, accessed by manually-operated freight elevators with the folding wooden gates.

    The area is now a small city.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Bruce Andrew

    Bruce Andrew Very Well-Known Member
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    Eh, Moms. :)

    Mine died in 2002 at age 86. We lost our father two years previously. My mom was a farm girl, growing up dirt poor in rural SW New York State -- her ancestors settled there in 1802.

    Mom and her brother at home, circa 1921 - 1922(?)

    Flo and Floyd nc.jpg

    My grandpa, who died before I was born:


    Grandpa.jpg
     
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    Last edited: Dec 16, 2021
  4. Kate Ellery

    Kate Ellery Supreme Member
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    My mother died at 61, I might sound harsh but…….what a wasted life she had with my stepfather :(:(sitting in the pub day after day drinking / smoking … then spending her last 10 years with alcohol induced dementia
    My youngest brother was only 9 when he “lost” both parents ( his father died ) mother in care due to what I mentioned up here ^^^^^

    I’m 75 ..76 in Feb …so I’ve well and truly outlived my mother and stepfather who died at 60.

    I’ve never touched alcohol or smoked
     
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  5. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    my mom died at 52 in 1966 my dad at 73 in 1987
     
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  6. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    My younger Brother was also an alcoholic, a good person and intelligent but he lacked the will power to make his life better. Alcoholism was the main factor in his death, an unattended broken leg that he allowed to slowly die. Low blood pressure and poisoning internally. I truly understand your hurt you feel, I also felt that way about my Brother. No matter how much we love a family member that is alcoholic there is nothing we can do, it is all upon the individual to fight the disease. I have met a person that kicked the alcohol, he was a mechanic that worked at the same shop I worked in while living in Nevada. He was originally born in California which I think it was named Victorville , ironically the same place Roy Rogers and Dale Evans lived back in their early careers. So he kicked the drinking habit but he told me had it not been for his Mother helping him he would not be alive. He always kept a cooler in the back of his truck filled with Dr Peppers. He would drink the Dr Pepper because it helped him fill the sugar need. He was a good person and liked to restore old Chevy Trucks. One Thanksgiving he came home the day before and let his German Shepard loose to run a while, he told me the dog came home later and had a raw turkey that someone had placed outside to thaw. He ask me if I thought it would be alright to cook the turkey if he just washed it off where the dog had took a grip :0) I told him heck yeah only next time tell the dog to grab a ham heh
     
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  7. Thomas Stillhere

    Thomas Stillhere Very Well-Known Member
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    I know you miss them both and it is sad your Mom passed so young. Most of my family members were above 90 when they passed.
     
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  8. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    Hi @Thomas Stillhere Thanks for sharing your heart with us. I wanted to share a Christmas photo on another thread I made here awhile back, but I went through the family photos to find it and could not. I think it was one of the only ones I had with almost every, family member in it. But reading your OP got to me because I went through mine this a.m. and trying to decide to keep them or not. I looked at the pile and thought "how can I throw" them away, and teared up. I don't have anyone close at all, not geographically. I call or write them but little in replies.

    Anyway, you've lost a lot in a short, period of time, and sometimes I really think I am feeling someone else's pain, but I think selfishly, it's my own it reminds me of. Please stick around here. I think it really helps for us to get to talk about real, life things. I love your pictures, and maybe I'll post a couple of the oldies I have. I was born in 52, and my hospital is long gone, and the beautiful countryside house I was born in is surrounded by fancy, Californian homes of the rich, and some famous. Big deal, I wouldn't trade my lowly beginnings, or even where I am now in a one-bedroom senior housing apartment, for all that material things in the world.
     
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  9. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    I so love the Turkey story, memories of reading Patrick McManus. Wow, @Yvonne Smith I did NOT know Patrick McManus was born in Sandpoint Idaho. I wonder if any of the Evans clan knew him, or maybe your family ;)

    Sorry @Thomas Stillhere got sidetracked there ;) My dad died in his 90s, but I never got to know him. I didn't know where he was until his other family (first marriage) found my younger brother and I. I went up to meet them and it was wonderful to hear about him, bitter-sweet I guess I should say. My mom passed when she was the age I am 68, but really much more 69 as of this month the 28th of Dec. ;)

    I'll tell you one, little story I remember well about one Christmas. My mom was a practical joker, and my young nephew knew Gramma too well to let her pull one on him. But he came walking down the hallway at their home in Eugene Oregon, he was about 12 I think, and saw one of Gramma's gags, a pile of doggy stuff (fake puke) and we heard him yell "oh no you don't gramma, I'm not fallin for it" and he kicked and it went everywhere! Their little poodle had had too much Christmas goodies I guess! We laughed and would bring that story up threw the years ;)
     
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  10. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    I love Patrick McManus, too, @Denise Happyfeet ! He was older than I am, so any of your people that knew him would be ones older than we are.
    I know that he grew up on North Boyer, somewhere out past the airport, and lived close to Sand Creek, because he talked about fishing there and riding down the Sand Creek bridge on his bike when the brakes went out.
    Some of the places he went were places I remember from riding horseback in the area around Sandpoint.

    I don’t think that my folks knew him either, although my dad worked for Northern Lights (the electric company for that area), so he might have known them possibly. I know that they did know some of the Evans that lived in Sandpoint, but I think that you and I talked about that, and it was a different family.
    It is amazing that you and I both have roots in both Sandpoint and Bonners Ferry. My mom and dad also lived in Southern California for a while, and we had relatives in Oregon; so you and I have a lot in common.
     
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  11. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    For me, it has been over 20 years since my mom and dad passed away, and I still think about them almost every day. Growing up as an only child, I was very close to both of my parents, and they were around 40 before I was even born, so they were glad to have a child. I was well-loved and had a happy childhood, and grew up living in the same house in the same little Idaho town.
    My folks were both in their 80’s when they passed away, and still ran a small community hotel that had mostly pensioners living there. The hotel had an old sawdust furnace in the basement, so every year, my dad got sawdust from the local sawmills and they put it in the basement to use for keeping the hotel warm enough in the winter.

    This is a picture of the hotel in Priest River, Idaho, where they lived until they passed away, although the picture is one that my son took a few years back.

    56B8C99C-FADE-4473-9839-61C8B62D3EF1.jpeg
     
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  12. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    It's beautiful up there. I wanted to go up awhile back but just felt that long of a trip wouldn't be good for me to try in my old truck. It was near new, 94, when I went up before.

    I loved Texas @Thomas Stillhere and have friends that lived in Llano quite awhile, but moved over closer to Dallas now. Also, a dear friend I met here, Ina, sweetest friend I ever met online. To me she was like the sister I never had, and even motherly although we were only a couple years apart in age. I always said she had an "old soul". She lived in what really must have been very country, but it was outside of Houston. @Yvonne Smith and @Bobby Cole got to meet her in person even. She passed away near Christmas, has it been 2 or 3 years Yvonne? I don't remember dates but seems a very, short time ago. I still miss her. There were posts of her's on here that showed pictures of her Log home that was over a 100 years old, an amazing woman with an amazing life. Here's my fave photo of her, to me she was family.
    Ina sweet friend.jpg
     
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  13. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    My mom died in her 40s, I think she was. I was thirteen. Most times, I can't remember what she looked like.
     
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  14. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    It has been just 4 years this month since Ina passed away. @Denise Happyfeet . We have an “In Memorium” section where we say our last goodbyes to our friends from the forum, and one of them is our dearest Ina.
    Here is the link to her memorial thread.

    http://www.seniorsonly.club/threads/today-our-beloved-ina-has-passed-away.8326/
     
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  15. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    Thanks @Yvonne Smith I don't see all the pics I saved of her home! It truly amazed me how she lived so very humbly. I didn't know how much I loved her til she was gone :(
     
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