Husband And Wife Relationships

The only thing that men and women can equally relate to is the fact that we’re both human. After that, as we all know we are totally different.
We are built differently, walk differently, talk differently, argue differently, solve problems differently and even process foods differently so how is it that we think we can totally understand each other and live together as if we are the same?

Yvonne and I are as different as night and day but in celebration of those differences we can love and live in our own worlds and each other’s as well.
We rarely finish each other’s sentences and have our own views on a myriad of subjects but we also recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses when relating to those subjects which as a couple, is a strength all by itself.

Sometimes I do not understand her, sometimes she doesn’t understand me but all in all we can see how it can all fit together.
In a dispute, it’s not a matter of who is right and who is wrong any longer but how can we best go above all of that to a peaceful resolution which may mean that I take a walk.

To me, it’s like having Balsamic Vinegar and Oil. They are both good all by themselves and are so different they would normally not even be compatible if one threw one into the other but when “properly” mixed together, the emulsion created by the two turns into liquid gold.
If not mixed properly we end up with crap in a bottle. Simple.

 

I think generalities can be made, @Beth Gallagher as long as it is understood that there are always exceptions to every one and that, while the generality may apply to "most", it does not apply to "all". We have been married for 45 years now, and my wife believed she could change me after we married; she was wrong.

 

We didn't have boy's or girl's nites In our 62`years I'm not aware of any time Judy tried to change me except the one time she told, because of excessive time at work, it was the family or work The only thing that I tried to change with her was her smoking. After I quit I tried all kinds of ways to get her to stop. Failed in every attempt.

 

Has anyone ever read the book Men in Groups ?

 

Daughter and I were talking about relationships yesterday and I was telling her not to sweat the small stuff that men don't think like we do, And that is a good thing since they were the major hunter gatherer and we were the care givers.
It became a funny conversation so I thought I'd put it up here.
Many kitchens use to have a plaque that read,
Kissing Don't Last ,Cooking Do". And played her a couple funny songs plus remined her of the Sinbad video about marriage we both thought was hilarious.

 

LOL, thats for sure, guess thats why so many don't endure. Also some are just loners and live happy lives without a spouse. There seems to be a fine line between love and hate at times. But things usually work out thank goodness or there would be lots more fatherless children.
When I met hubby we were both divorced.
John did you see this Simbad,it is funny about marriage, I put it up here somewhere but forgot where.

 

I think it may be a two way street on that . I get frustrated when hubby won't talk he will say well I may as well get up. Men don't ;like to talk.

 

Men like myself have scads of experience talking but that generally means that because we understand ourselves and very little of what someone else says we talk to ourselves a lot.

And then there is a speaker that Yvonne and I listened to a number of years ago who quoted some study that showed that on the average, a woman will speak something like 200,000 words a day whilst men is nearly half of that.
He said that by the time a guy gets home from work he has already said his 100,000 and if his wife hasn’t filled her quota yet, she’s gonna talk so guys get ready.

To be serious though, a man’s greatest problem in the conversational side is that we have a rough time listening. We hear everything but the listening thing is something most of us have to be made aware of and work on.

 

Bobby I think its all according to the conversation too. Want to talk about a tractor his truck he is all ears, but if I want to talk about a trip or my van he is too tired or not involved. He hates my van said it is hard to work on which is true but I've always had a van. its easier dealing with kids plus your never without a place to stay if you need to. I use to have a toddler playpen in my first one, my babies would slide up to front when I stopped and slide back when I took off. That way I could check to see if one needed a change or whatever. We didn't have seat belts back then.

 

We’ve been married for 35 years in September ( 2nd time for both ) and we will still quite often hold hands while out shopping / walking from the car or in the mall.
I’ve known so many who just let their love fizzle out by not doing anything together as you all know we dance as well so it keeps the love / affection alive, as well as close contact / touching …..and I’m not even suggesting bedroom stuff we both believe that should be strictly between the couple and no one else.

On our way to a dance recently we called into a servo to get fuel and the attendant who would have been 60ish said oh are are going to a wedding? ..I said no ballroom dancing his comment was what I’d give to hold someone..
I was sad for him (hubby puts fuel in and I go pay for it unless it’s Costco where you pay at the pump )

Been watching Married at first sight and even tho I'm sure drama is created for the cameras / ratings some things in marriage should never be made public even to friends. …..but I guess I’m just old fashioned

 

That is sweet Kate. Hubby and I hold hands at times too, we even did the Stroll last month. Ever see only two people strolling? We stay isolated during pandemic so no dancing in public.
Not that pandemic changed out life that much we are always isolated out here in the woods 100s of miles from both family's.
We get along ok most of the time but I like people and miss family and friends more than he does. But then when we are around them I understand how he feels after a few days.. My oldest daughter is mad at me now because I said something to her grand kid which of course in my Great grand.
Hubby is looking forward to playing music when his brother visits nest week. Always been a musical family.

 

I love good music @Marie Mallery We are far from religious but tunes that have been written for religious Hymns
make the best tunes for dancing ..of course they are upbeat and sequenced to suit our style of dancing

 

Regarding men and women, and who talks more: I am a very talkative guy. At my high school senior luncheon, I found out that I was voted, "Most Talkative Guy" in our class of 450! They gave me a roll of duct tape to shut my mouth.

Janet is also very talkative. This works very well in our seventeen year, live-in relationship. We are NEVER at a loss for words!