The world has changed so much and U.S. for certain. More money and less religion, I'm no longer religious after years of struggling with it.... And I believe so much changed when TV exploded and then all the programming that messed up the little ones too I believe. My folks stayed married for 63 yrs and divorce was taboo and money was not there to support more than one family, so the old folks stayed, hung in and often lived. quiet lives of desperation. And did their own things .. my folks did anyway. I was married once, divorced once, which was a huge shock to my life, and vowed to NEVER marry again, and it's worked out very good for me. Kept me independent and strong.
Back in the late 70s I worked with a guy who had lived with his girlfriend for over 3 years. They got married. 90 days later it was over. Who understands these things?
My family always loved my first husband and they didn't stop loving him (or he them) when we divorced. They all kept in touch which was fine with me. Happily, my ex and my husband are also amiable; we always get along when at family get-togethers like our grandson's high school graduation party, etc. (Though my ex's wife doesn't like me but that's her problem; everyone knows I'm lovable...haha.)
Your comment says quite a bit of what I've said before. -People in the past lacked choices and lived quiet lives of desperation. -You were able to divorce and then live life as an independent single female. -People these days have choices. What depresses me is that many men and women seem to be unhappy with the state of relationships "these days," yet it never improves. I guess the ideals and the realities are irreconcilable.
When the stigma of divorce was removed it allowed people to move on when unhappy. I believe that's a good thing. Who admires a "life of quiet desperation;" that's just tragic.
The marriages of the past had more commitment to them, and being in love was not always the priority. Just because someone stayed married for a long time, does not always mean it was a happy union. People stayed married regardless of the marriage status way back when. @John Brunner yes for some reason signing on the dotted line changes things. My first marriage I was too young at 18, but it also got my out of a bad situation at home. We were separated for years and after divorce i stayed single by choice for many years. I had just turned 42 when I met my 36 year old husband. We married a year later. Best 31 years ever !
One would think that marrying "for love" is a pretty modern thing, even (or especially) among the elite. "Necessity," power, the merging of kingdoms or corporations, all seemed to be the driving need. In the cases of property and power, the humans involved were merely conduits to those ends...I bet they still are to some degree right here within our shores. While I don't believe this to be a formal practice among America's rich & elite, Arranged Marriages are still common in many countries. One website puts the estimate at 55% of all marriages, worldwide...and not always for the best of motives.
Could the piece of legal paper that does it. I admire Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and their long no license relationship. One of my bf's along my path after divorce and we were living together and things were good as far as I was concerned, he wanted marriage, I did not so I can still see him now pulling out of our driveway leaving CA to had back to MN, where he got married pretty quickly, we stayed in touch but I thought we better drop it...wonder if he and his wife are still alive and together. I know he went back to smoking with the wife......
Homeschool kids and the reason behind the homeschooling varies. Some homeschooled kids are brilliant, and some are not. It depends on the kids, their family situation, the commitment and educational background of the parents, and many other factors. One of the "fathers" of the national homeschool movement referred to public school as "age-segregated herds" of children. They learn to relate to their own age group, but cannot carry on a conversation with those outside their age. People were always amazed that my sons could carry on adult-level conversations with groups of men as well as with younger children. Daughters seemed more flexible, although I don't think that still stands. All our kids but thee youngest graduated form college with at least a bachelor's level education except the youngest, who went to trade school and is foreman of a construction shop at 26 years old with a company truck and a fuel card. The youngest has the highest income, but all the children became members of single-income families, and the daughters were both stay-at-home moms while their children were small. One daughter now works with a sheriff's office now that her kids are mostly grown and out of the house.
Celebrated our 45th yesterday. Attended a birthday party for grandchild #13 during the afternoon, then went out to the only somewhat fancy restaurant in the area for dinner only to be told that our dinner had been picked up by son #4. Really cool to have good kids! I played "You're Still The One" by Orleans, "You're One in a Million" by the Oakridge Boys, and "Forever in Bluejeans" by Neil Diamond for her on my Kindle as we sat on the patio enjoying the evening.
Why is it that married couples get a big party for their 50th , but a successful widow of 50 years gets zip? Doesn't anyone realize the difficulty of a woman staying single for 50 years?