Unless it's someone I need for some reason, I pretty much ignore them. If I am in a position to do so, I might shove it in their face by being overly friendly to them, not to try to win them around but I've found that when someone hates me, it really annoys them when I make a point of saying hello to them every time I come across them. Having been involved in political things, I've made my share of enemies. You might think that, in that case, I know why they dislike me, but I really don't. Some of the people I like best around here are people I've battled with politically. When we ran an Internet cafe twenty years ago, one guy would come in pretty much every day, and sometimes multiple times during the day. We're still friends, although we disagree on pretty much everything political. Because we're both honest, we can still support one another whenever something comes up that we can support. On the other hand, there's another guy who was the head of one of the organizations we were fighting (we won, and he's working at Subway now). I come across him in the grocery store a few times a year and I make a point of saying hello to him when there are other people around so that he feels obligated to return the greeting, although he would pointedly ignore me if no one else was around. So, I make a point of catching him when others are around, and I'll ask him how things are going, which are not great, I know, since he went from being the CEO of an organization he hoped would turn into something big, to working at Subway. Once, I asked how his wife was doing, knowing that she had left him quite a while ago. So, when I come across people who hate me, I will either ignore them or give them a reason to hate me that I can understand.
I think my sense of humor is kind of an acquired taste. I have a rather dry sense of humor not shared by a lot of my relatives except one cousin. He and I will be joking around, laughing like crazy, and everyone just looks at us like "what's so funny?". That makes us laugh even harder!
After almost three months here, I have seen some who clearly, don't like each other here, and I just stay out of it, unless they direct it at me. The site, from what I've seen, is as fair as it gets, in its treatment of everyone. I believe some like strife and reach out for it, just to get it going, or maybe for some attention, as it is everywhere you go this day and time. I still wonder how some are able to just, not be affected, Could be an act, or did they hide it, maybe?
Before the internet, people generally had to talk face to face with someone in order to discover a like or dislike. As in @Ken Anderson’s post, just because someone is at odds in one area doesn’t mean they dislike one another but sometimes it takes some personal contact to establish that kind of relationship. Today, many who write on the internet with opposing views, especially in the realm of politics, tend to go at each other as if they are fighting for their very existence and have made a personal vow to draw and quarter the other without missing a breath. Such probably wouldn’t be the case if they could simply meet each other and really have a conversation. As it is, when someone writes we have to try to see around the words in order to see the person because mere words aren’t the total of what makes up that person. Many are the times I have wished that I had the wherewithal to go and meet with someone that I have had harsh conversations with just so I could shake hands and have a cup of joe with him/her and see if that person is the same as the one I know on the net and the one I have formed a really bad opinion about or someone totally different and someone I could grow to like.
"Very true". Things don't always come out over the internet as we mean for them too. Even I edited things when I realized, it was not what I wanted to say, at all, I just worded it wrong. I also find, if I take a little time away, and think about the conversation, I do better wording things. We live in a different time now, and things are faster than ever before and less physical contact, like handshakes, or even just conversations, face to face. New age and technology have changed everything and not for the better, IMO. I do agree it changes everything, and it's more understandable, face-to-face, with expressions and all.
Talents like Zane Grey, Louis L‘Amour, Dickens, Steinbeck and others had the ability to bring the reader into the world that was being painted through the written word. Just by reading, a person knows the characters intimately and the scenes displayed are as if one were standing there examining them with their own eyes and ears. One example is that Zane Grey would use several paragraphs just to describe a leaf, someone’s smile or the look in someone’s eyes. If it was food or drink being consumed, one walked away knowing exactly how something tasted or smelled. Sadly, I’m not that kind of writer nor it seems, am I easily understood in real life which brings me to the reason why I do not concentrate on whether I’m liked or disliked. I know I do not show a lot of emotions and guard them as if they were my life’s savings so I have no misconceptions as to why people would form negative opinions at our first meetings. I was told by a therapist that I’m a hard study and to be truthful, I have no problem with that.
I've read a lot of Louie Lamour, and find it true about what you're saying, about a true talent in making you feel or understand exactly what they're writing about, and I definitely don't have any of those talents like that either. As far as liked or disliked, I've been told more than once, that I'm too nice, and that folks don't know how to take me. I usually don't say anything back, when I've been told that, but wonder how I can fix it, to be not so nice, and to not be told that by them. As I posted earlier in this thread, I think that I overthink things too much. But everyone is different and has some kind of hangups.
Unless it creates fear rather than respect, overthinking isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Looking for the possible failings in what seems to be a good idea or even a good contract is the mark of a careful man. Checking one’s tools to make sure that they’re in good order before using them is also a good thing but, picturing oneself being injured whilst using a good tool is a type of overthinking that creates fear. We humans are weird though. When we look at each other, we automatically come to a conclusion as to whether we like them or not. We tend to overthink a body marking or the way someone speaks or even how they are dressed. Just like the opinions we arrive at on a forum; we think that we know that we know everything there is to glean about a person yet have never actually spoken to them. Then, there’s the example set by Charlie Brown and his lack of thinking things totally through, we have Lucy who pulls the football every time Charlie tries to kick it hence Einstein’s definition of insanity. In Charlie’s case, he should have been an over thinker from the very beginning. I mean, Lucy’s dress is above her knees and she’s always grinning so what good can possibly come of getting to know her? Yeah, this time maybe overthinking would have been a bad thing because they turned out to be good friends.
The last time it mattered to me, I guess, was in high school. Being a psychopath, I probably thought there was a magic way to control people that I didn't have. I ended up getting a few good friends, not a lot, but enough. I was not in the in crowd. But when teased, I mostly ignored unless I had a great 'come back'. One needs to be 'liked' when applying for a job. Fortunately I had a confident presence when I needed one.
Ttrue and thats is why I'm trying to stay out of politics, we are all stressed out from all the bad things going on these days and at times take it out on others. I find myself apologizing more than ever and misunderstanding the message. Also it doesn't help the seemingly constant attacks indirectly or directly against the Caucasian and victimhood of all others. When the truth is no race or tribe is any worse than the other. So I find myself defending my heritage and ancestors. Now I'm trying to just ignore ignorance and fake history. And hope we all realize none of us is perfect or without blame.
PS my mom told me the secret. To have a friend, you have to be a friend. Sometimes that is too much work for some people--thus, no friends.