Great point. Actually, the whole post was good. We're all made differently, and we develop differently. When a problem is posed, some people view that as a request for a solution, while others are satisfied to commiserate with the situation. A common source of marital discord in my experience has been that when I voice something that I'm upset with at the moment, my wife often hears that as a complaint against her because she hasn't solved the problem or because she allowed it to happen. In reality, at least from my perspective, I am simply voicing a problem that's on my mind at the moment. I am neither blaming her for it nor expecting her to come up with a solution. I voice the problem because the simple act of voicing reduces the stress involved with it, and I voice problems to my wife because sometimes my cats get tired of hearing about them. Cats never feel the need to solve a problem unless it's their own. It's pretty cool the way I made it all about me, isn't it?
Yep, that is what dogs and cats are for, and I guess some use horses for that as well, but few people have horses in the house, so you have to go outside to talk with them. I feel for my brother who is going through his first holiday season without his partner of 50+ years. He seems to be doing okay though.
I see this thread is over a year old, and as I see it I can think of one couple still together and he is about 90 and she is maybe close to 80, a second marriage for both of them. I chose NOT to remarry when my "dream marriage" went sour 7 yrs or so into the reunion. I can't imagine anyone here with me all the time, unless a HUGE house to get lost in.
That reminds me of a married couple who purchased 2 homes next door to each other. They really had their own space. It worked for them...
I just read that Jeanie Buss and her recent husband, live in their own spaces, same 3 story bldg but each have their own "home".... https://brobible.com/sports/article/jeanie-buss-jay-mohr-living-arrangement/
My mom tired to sleep with her hubsand, my father, for 40 yrs or so and FINALLY moved herself to the spare room and her OWN double bed and slept for yrs, no snoring, burping etc that she tried to sleep with...
Our marriage is our 3rd each and we absolutely love being together at least 90% of the time. We don't want any "alone" time, except for when I get a haircut and she is working at home during that time. She doesn't have any girlfriends anymore and I don't have any buddies. Only time we've ever slept alone in 23 years is when either of us were in a hospital. We both love being married and share everything. No separate banking accounts, bedrooms or anything else. Just the kind of married we love.
If it works for y'all, @Cody Fousnaugh , that's great. But I'd feel like I was being smothered if I was her.
She never does (feel smothered)! That was one the major reasons we matched after we met. We are both "clingy".
I see this recently resurrected thread is a suitable place to put these thoughts....... I lost my wife of 40 years 4 years ago and am bloody lonely at times here on my 40 acre wooded hideaway, I have looked for an older lady companion willing to share conversation and part of the housekeeping in return for free accommodation. My circle of friends is very small and I have to date been unable to find any takers, indeed few have applied! I can say with some authority that too many hours sitting alone for most of the time does strange things to an old fellow and could be the fastest way to the funny farm. I suspect my words here are proof of that!