Who Cheats On A Lover?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Richard Whiting, Feb 18, 2023.

  1. Jessica Morgan

    Jessica Morgan Very Well-Known Member
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    An ex partner cheated on me. I read the signs about 2 weeks in. He wouldn't let me use his phone, he would listen to different music, he even stopped having dinner at home. Turned out that he had messages on his phone that he didn't want me to see, he listened to new music that he enjoyed with her, and he was having dinner with her instead of 'going fishing'.
    I packed up and ditched him, good riddance I told him as I walked away with my pride and head held high! (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)
     
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  2. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    Note that I’m not in any way trying to do you any discredit but I take it that you moved in with the guy after only 2 weeks in a relationship?
    Granted, I see no reason for someone to cheat on another person period but that said, a couple of weeks doesn’t seem like enough time to establish another’s character.
     
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  3. Jessica Morgan

    Jessica Morgan Very Well-Known Member
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    Oh gosh no way! Lol.
    I'll rephrase it. I was in a long term relationship with him, I noticed the signs that he was cheating after 2 weeks of him trying to hide it. He wasn't very good at covering his tracks, I was onto him and watching him until I confronted him.
     
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  4. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    LOL. I kinda thought so but during my days of slinging drinks, I have seen some pretty strange things.
    I knew one guy who, after a couple of drinks at the bar, gave his apartment key to a gal he’d only met the day before. It ended with him sitting by himself at the bar a few days later complaining that his new found lady was “entertaining” another guy in his apartment.
     
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  5. Jessica Morgan

    Jessica Morgan Very Well-Known Member
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    Lol! I hope he got his key back after this.
    When I walked out on my cheating partner I left the keys there, I literally walked out with the clothes I was wearing and 2 bags of belongings, I started over from scratch. I'm proud of that (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)
     
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  6. Jaspurr Miller

    Jaspurr Miller Well-Known Member
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    It would be impossible to guess how many people (either male or female) cheat on their partners, don't you think? Most cheaters don't admit it until they get caught. Some never do get caught.

    It happened to me twice, when I was in my 20s. The first was a five-year relationship (not living together). Near the end of the relationship, he started making the odd comment about my weight gain (I've been chubby all my life). Turns out he was having an affair with the secretary in his office. How cliche, right? LOL She was a skinny little thing, so I guess he got what he wanted. They are still together to this day.

    The second time was a one-year relationship. We were crazy about each other, so I thought. He ended up leaving me for a woman in his building who left a note on his car in the parking lot, saying she wanted to get to know him better. He initially told me, out of the blue, that he "needed a break" from our relationship and wouldn't tell me why. I kept pushing for an answer and after a couple of weeks, he confessed. I dodged a bullet with this guy. He was an alcoholic and he died young...in his 40s. Not sure if it was from his addiction.

    In both cases, I was absolutely devastated. I take my relationships very seriously, and have always done my best to be a kind, caring, respectful and loving partner. To me, cheating is the ultimate betrayal and I can't forgive it. If these two guys had been honest and told me that they no longer wanted to be in the relationship for whatever reason, I could have accepted it better. But sneaking around like a coward is despicable. I would never, ever hurt someone by cheating, even if I "fell out of love."

    Fortunately, my love life has a happy ending. This year, my husband and I will celebrate 30 wonderful years of marriage, based on a strong foundation of love and deep respect for each other. We are truly each other's best friends. We both agree we are lucky to have found each other in this crazy and sometimes cruel world. :)
     
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  7. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I've been "cheated" on, but have never done it myself. To be that way makes no sense to me. But there are some number of people who approach such things in a highly casual manner. I can't pat myself on the back for not being this way, because I have no such inclinations in the first place; therefore, I'm not resisting a temptation that I don't even have. I don't mind being alone, so I don't feel the need to be with "just anyone" as a distraction. I've broken off relationships for my own reasons, but never because I already had a replacement lined up.

    I'm sure it's already been said, but if you "hook up" with someone who is already in a relationship, then exactly how trusting of that person are you going to be? Maybe people don't even care about that. Maybe it's a strange sense of self-validation to be able to lure another person's mate. Maybe the original relationship wasn't all that great to begin with (or wasn't what the participants believed it to be, or people got into it too quickly), and an opportunity to jump ship sailed by. But that ship you jump to has gotta know that other ships sail by all the time.
     
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  8. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    I have often wondered if it's possible to "Steal" someone's love. The old country songs sometimes say s/he stole his/her love from me. But if the love is real, can it be stolen?

     
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    John Brunner and Don Alaska like this.
  9. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    This is what I taught my daughters: If she can take him from you, let her have him. :D
     
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  10. Kate Ellery

    Kate Ellery Supreme Member
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    We often dance to the tune called Tennessee waltz …I’d think most would know the words to that tune @Shirley Martin

    Who knows what the cheating stats are ….lots I’d imagine … with the openness of social media being so easy to pick up at “date” on the likes of Tinder ….. I only know about that site cause the sons of our neighbours use it quite a bit

    I’ve been cheated on while married , in fact I caught him red handed ….( he was a member of JW’s ) and he was teaching her the bible……. I’ve got no doubts my husband of almost 37 years cheated on me in our early years together , I have evidence but not 100% proof… if that makes sense ;) he denied it when I asked.
    but I chose to brush it off ….but NEVER forget….
     
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    Last edited: Feb 21, 2023
  11. Jessica Morgan

    Jessica Morgan Very Well-Known Member
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    My cheating ex partner expected me to let him keep some of the utility bills in my name, not a chance, I got everything that was in my name shut off (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠) he had to reapply for them in his name which would've caused him some problems as he owed them money from his previous address!
     
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