Adult Children Who Live at Home

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Jenn Windey, Jan 22, 2015.

  1. Michelle Stevens

    Michelle Stevens Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    128
    I appreciate your advice @Val Carey . We really haven't started looking around yet, but I really don't think a retirement village is the right place for me. I want a little house in a complex where I can have a little garden of my own for my trees and would like to adopt a dog too when my life is more organised. Some of those places have great facilities like shared swimming pools too, so I'd like to think I'll meet people that way, even if they're not young. And I really want to keep my Mom with me for as long as possible.
     
    #16
  2. Jenn Windey

    Jenn Windey Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    341
    Likes Received:
    264
    Michelle have you ever considered taking a position or volunteering for something where you work with kids on occasion? or maybe younger people? Years ago I was a docent for our zoo and I loved it, You had to do a minimum of like 3 hours a month. I think what happens, especially when we care for our grown kids, their children or even our parents, is we forget to do things for ourselves. That can be dangerous because life changes all the time. Just try to think of something that you always felt like you wanted to do. You said about a garden, maybe volunteer to do a garden somewhere? At the condo's where I work the majority of the flowers are all done by ladies on the garden committee, there are stronger young folk around to help with the tough stuff, but the ladies pick the plants and get them in. They do some deadheading and watering. It is all very social.

    I remember my grandmother was in her 80's and she would watch a neighbors baby a few days a week. She would hold that baby and sing to him. Talk about hitting the baby jackpot. What was interesting is that grandma could not even get up on her own anymore, she had aids in and we would cook for her and take her places. Just those couple of hours a day with that child made a world of difference.
     
    #17
  3. Val Carey

    Val Carey Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    28
    This retirement complex has extensive garden areas that the residents are welcome to use or if they aren't up to it the maintenance people do the necessary. Most of us like to potter a little and there seems to be no boundaries of which bit of garden is who's, they overlap and plant things where there's a gap and tend each others' areas when they feel like it. There are no fences or delineated areas, our dwellings all open onto the garden areas as shared space. We're a bunch of happy little planters. It works well as some of us feel better some days than others but seldom do we all fall in a heap at the same time so the shared garden duties make sense. There's no formal arrangement to it, no committee as such, it just happens.

    I was given a 5month old pup just weeks after I had to put Mum into aged care. I always wanted another one but couldn't have one around Mum who was so frail by then that I couldn't risk it knocking her over. The pup was a JR who was bouncing, as JRs do, on a toddler and knocking him over flat so the family wanted rid of her (the dog, not the toddler) and I put my hand up.
    She was my best friend for 7 years but when it became necessary for me to move here I couldn't bring her and we had to part company. I still miss my bossy little friend something fierce, but wouldn't swap a day of those 7 years, she was wonderful company and is hopefully still good company for her new 'companion'. That is the one big drawback with some, not all, retirement complexes they ban cats and dogs, too many disturbances over them. siiiiiigh.:(
     
    #18
    Yvonne Smith likes this.
  4. Michelle Stevens

    Michelle Stevens Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    128
    @Jenn Windey , that's something for me to consider for the future, though I really can't spare the time to get involved with anything new right now. I've still got a lot to do in connection with wrapping up my Dad's estate and having to move is going to be a lot of work after living in the same house for nearly 50 years. There is so much clutter that needs to be disposed of and I don't now where to start. I've always been very sentimental about my stuff. Also, I'm not good with crowds and lack of self-confidence means I'd probably struggle with something like what you suggest, but maybe one day...

    @Val Carey , unfortunately that kind of garden wouldn't really work for me as I'm very involved with my bonsai trees and they need special care. Many of them are kept in a greenhouse or need to be moved indoors during winter. Even where I live now I'm really careful to see that they're kept secure behind a high wall so that nobody can interfere with them.
     
    #19
  5. Val Carey

    Val Carey Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    28
    Granted Michelle, bonsai are a very specialised kind of 'gardening.' One I failed miserably at on a small foray into it many years ago. The novelty wore off in no time at all when I realised how much care and thought had to go into it. I gave them away gladly.
     
    #20
  6. Michelle Stevens

    Michelle Stevens Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    128
    @Val Carey , I've put too much time and effort into mine to give them away. Besides, my Bonsai club really is my social life and I'd be lost without it.
     
    #21
  7. Val Carey

    Val Carey Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    28
    Oh I admire people who can produce those wonderful plants. A neighbour, a rough and ready plumber who was the last person you would expect to indulge in the intricacies of bonsai had a marvelous collection of them, he'd been working on them since he was a kid so many were 40 years old by then. I don't have that kind of attention span I'm afraid.
     
    #22
  8. Michelle Stevens

    Michelle Stevens Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2015
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    128
    It's easier for men to create good bonsai as some of the work requires a lot of strength. Luckily I'm able to get help from some of the men at our club workshops. I get to see some amazing trees at the club and I'm really quite jealous. Although I've been a member for just over seven years now, I still regard myself as a beginner and can only hope that one day I'll be able to achieve half of what some of them have done.
     
    #23

Share This Page