Yes, you read the title of my thread correctly. In today's world, being too, aka overly, friendly can mean trouble. In just being friendly, in a restaurant or store, there are some people that will give me the look of "you talking to me?" or "why are you talking to me?" I'm a talker, but sometimes, that's not a good thing. I'm also a joker, and, again, that can be a bad thing. I see someone's t-shirt or ball cap that says something I like or know and I will say something to them. Or, can it be what I'm asking them about, like "do you live here and like it?". Once in a great while, I'll have a resident say to me, "I do live here, but I don't like it." Then, there is something in-common to talk about. Now, if a person tells me "I love it here", I will ask them "why" and the friendliness seems to go right out the door. Funny, but I complain to my wife about how unfriendly she seems to be and yet, she is better than myself. Big/huge question is, how to change your personality at our age?
When a person is being friendly, don't talk about how the other person looks or what they are doing? There are those young folks that can take being friendly towards them offensive, just by saying one word to them like "Goodmorning". Just saying "Goodmorning" has gotten me a look of "you talking to me?". Still believe "friendliness" can be obtained more in small city/town populations than in large ones.
Aye, I've always been friendly. Moto was: "It's better to draw people with honey instead of vinegar..." However, I've found that sometimes people just take advantage of yous cause they see your friendliness as weakness... Aye right! As an Aries woman, I'm very nice, polite and straightforward and to the point, but cross me or take advantage and you'll get burned by my Fiery side, LOL LOL LOL!
Being Southern that friendly attitude came naturally..moved farther north over 7 years ago..people are not this way..hardly look towards you...neighbors different too...it's very difficult
Funny, but my ex-wife was an Aries and she'd take on Mohammad Ali in the ring! She could get a temper going. My wife now is completely opposite (thank God).
Just don't know completely what it is. Perhaps trying to speak thru a mask during the Pandemic or all of the crime that goes on today? And, sometimes I think that many of the younger generation simply don't want to talk to Seniors. When I was in my 30's/40's, I didn't know anyone that was an older Senior in their 70's, like us. IOW, very little in common, if anything.
Southern rural regions are much better at smiling ...greetings and hollerin over to you...plus.. change in our culture..hatred..fear..growing..take heart..howdy over there to ya'll
Of course, but you insist on living in large cities. Therein lies the problem, perhaps. I have trouble figuring out how you find yourself in some of the predicaments you speak of here, though. When I lived in Southern California apartments, I rarely knew the names of the people who lived next door to me, except for the place where I lived the past five or six years in Anaheim. Since it was near where I worked, I recommended it to a couple of people I worked with, so I had a couple of neighbors who I knew. While acknowledging the distancing that comes naturally to people who live close together, I don't think I was unfriendly, however, as I would say hello to people I recognized as living near me, and they generally responded in kind. Once in a while, I would come across someone who was rude, but since I didn't know them anyhow, I didn't let that ruin my day. Apart from a brief greeting, I'm not one to start conversations with people I don't know; that's my wife's job. As for how others feel about how I dressed, I don't know how I would even notice how someone felt about how I dressed. I would hope that someone would let me know if my zipper was undone, but then I might wonder why they were looking there to begin with. Maybe I don't pay enough attention to other people. At restaurants, I usually can't remember which waitress was ours. Since I don't look at people closely, maybe I assume they don't either. That said, I recognize most of the people I come across here in the small town I live in and know the names of a fair number of them. I have had altercations with some, while others have been allies, but few are friends. Most are friendly, however; even those I have sparred with. In a city, the chances are you'll never see someone you come across again, but in a small town, you will. It can be entertaining to have a couple of enemies, but you don't want to have too many of them.
You can't change your personality, you just learn to manage it better. If you're aware of the downsides of certain behaviours, you resist the impulse to act on them.
Well, Loveland, Colorado, where we use to live, could be considered a small city with a population of 78,000, whereas Henderson, NV has almost 300,000 people and nearby Vegas over 3,000,000. It was still an unfriendly area and long-time residents blamed it on young newcomers. When people have to live in an apartment, small towns don't offer them due to the cost of building them and trying to fill all apartments. I like talking to people, period. Doesn't make any difference if it's about what written on their ball cap or t-shirt, I simply like talking to folks. To a point, my wife is very much the opposite, but I've seen her talking so much to someone that I could hardly get in a word. She also not nearly as observant as I am to what people look like or are wearing. Seems like, with age, she has gotten more quiet. We basically moved here to put our boat on Lake Mead, but sure didn't realize just how low the water is at the launch ramp. IOW, Ken, we didn't research the area and the lake nearly enough and couldn't visit either. We've also found out that we don't like living in the desert. And, we definitely picked the wrong area for anything "western" related. Nobody here is like us at all! And, it doesn't make me feel very good when people aren't friendly towards us. We are always having to say "hello" or something before anyone will even talk to us.
I live in a town of about 4,000, with about ten apartment buildings, possibly more, which is where many people move when they are no longer able or willing to maintain their homes. That's not counting the apartments that are available above some of the commercial buildings downtown. I grew up near an unincorporated town of about 200, which even has an apartment building. You're unlikely to find a big city where people walk around looking like they're ready to rope cattle, or where they want to get to know their neighbors. You need a smaller town for that, but you're intent on living in a big city, where you'll always wish people were different than they are.
Actually, the last city, Loveland, there were a few people that we saw wearing western attire at breakfast, but they were more of our age. There was also a store, down at the intersection from our apt. complex, that sold some ranch/rodeo equipment in the parking lot, ropes (like I use to use in rodeo) and some livestock feed in the store. Even sold ranch/rodeo toys. But, never once did I see someone walk in the store wearing a cowboy hat, like a did several times. Unfortunately, with more and more ''big city" kids moving into the city, it was growing fast and becoming a "big city" type city. That, and the winters there, is what made us leave. Amazon was finishing a gigantic Distribution Center there and, that in itself, will make the population explode. Carson City, Nevada is much, much smaller that here, with only about 59,000 people. We were told that the population is so small there because they do get a winter, but not as bad as northern Colorado, and a very grim job situation. Heck, Reno even has a lower population than Henderson here. Since nobody in this forum is like us, IOW, rodeo/western like (at times) it's super hard explaining anything. But, can't say we haven't tried. LOL
The best way to be less friendly is to keep your mouth shut and your nose out of other people's business.
What an unfriendly group of people you are. It doesn't hurt to acknowledge and respond to a good day or good morning. But, then again, some folks are born unpleasant.