One Liners

An established comedian here of many years, once said .............
'When I told them I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed - well they're not laughing now are they'

I love this line - heard any that give you a good giggle ? ...........

 

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

 

Yeah, them Hoover's suck.

 

I bought a dog and named him shark, now I'm banned from every beach in California.

 

Henny Youngman, King of the one-liners!

 

You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

 

Probably the worst thing you can hear, while wearing a bikini, is "Good for you."

 

@K E Gordon
LOL Karen !

 

Heard a great line from Judge Judy - she says to a weird, off the wall, girl
'Are you on medication ?'
Girl - 'No'
Judy - 'Well you should be'

(me ribs ached )

 

It pains me to say this....



But I have a sore throat!

 

My wife thinks I'm too old fashioned
and will leave me if i dont change my ways..

me thinks the wench doth protest too much!

 

Wife and I love all the Lines that the Minions say on Facebook. A lot of them, simply hilarious!

 

LOL That's me favourite !