There is probably not one of us on this Forum who at some time (past, or present) has not experienced loss and grief. We often don't know the right things to say to help someone through this season of their lives, and yet because we care about the people going through this...we try our best to bring comfort to them. I'm terribly sorry for you loss, as we all are and I hope in some small way these articles will be of help to those going through a "season" of loss and grief at this time. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful. You may experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like the pain and sadness you're experiencing will never let up. These are normal reactions to a significant loss. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can renew you and permit you to move on...
I learned about grief early. My mom died when I was 21 and my Dad when I was 27. I am now losing my siblings and watching the family I grew up with slowly disintegrate. Loss is very hard and none of us can escape it.
I was lucky in that I didn't lose anyone at a very young age but loss is loss if you loved that person. I also think that who you lose will affect you differently. You still hurt but it's a different type of hurt, at least that's been my experience so far. Also...and I don't want to dwell on this but someone's insensitivity (someone I thought a friend) at the time my mother died made something snap in me. From that moment I quit thinking about my mom and obsessed about this person, then that made me more upset...the fact that she robbed me of those days after my mom died and I just couldn't get past that. It made me physically ill to the point I had to go the dr. It put me in a downward spiral to the point of not wanting to wake up most mornings. Seeing Mari pop up out of the blue kind of snapped me out of it, so now I can hopefully mourn my mom like she deserved. I've had the most miserable 3 weeks and it's going to be a struggle to climb back up and out, hopefully I haven't done too much damage to my body with my diet and lack of movement but I don't think it's been long enough. I promise this is the last I'll allude to any of this but I had no other outlet and it was bottled up.
Oh, your parents were surely young when they left you before you reached age 30. But they say that you become stronger as you experience grief and sorrow. Pardon me if this is a segue. When my father died in 1994, I felt heartbroken because I was the closest among his 12 children and I know that I was his favorite. But thanks to my husband who gave me his full support in those dark times that I was able to recover after a few days of mourning. When our first dog died in 2007 due to renal failure, I was devastated, much more grief than when my father died. I felt like losing a child. I cried all day on that 19th of May. My husband was also devastated that on the next morning, we both woke up crying. My husband went to the computer and after an hour, he came up with a song bearing that title - May 19, all about Jedi, our first dog. If you care to see the video of the song, here is the link - When our second dog died after 5 years, I was again devastated but not as much as in 2007. Maybe the old folks are right in saying that you get used to the loss as you go on in life for loss will always be hounding us.
@Chrissy Page Chrissy, you just go ahead and write whatever seems to help! Nothing you could write about which bolsters you up could ever be looked down upon, by any of us, I am sure. But I should speak only for myself. Frank