I did not grow up with Grace being said at meals or as a married adult with one child. I have always enjoyed listening to others saying Grace and the way different people do it.
We never said grace except at Thanksgiving. I've been asked in my adult years, and I've always accepted.
I never did when I was married before or single/divorced. However, a few years ago we started saying Grace before eating supper. My wife loves having me say Grace, because she can, sometimes, stumble around too much when saying it. A lot of times, when I'm about to eat breakfast at my desktop, and she is in the spare bedroom working (job), I will say it softly. We both really, really believe in pray, so saying Grace helps us. During two of my 3-month driving trips, trying to relocate to Wyoming from So California, but didn't work, and to Oklahoma from So California, didn't work either, I'd say a pray before I'd leave each motel I spent the night in.
When I say Grace, I thank the Farmers, Cattlemen, Dairymen and others who produce the food we consume. Then I thank the Railroaders and Truckers who bring this bounty to Market. Then I thank all those retail Food Workers who offer these foods to the Public for their consumption. Finally, I thank my Wife, who sets a wonderful Table for us and our guests to enjoy. THESE are who deserve my thanks...REAL PEOPLE, not some Spirit in the Sky. Hal
Hal! You do know that God is listening and reading your post here, right? You do know that there are those that could care less about what farmers, cattlemen and dairymen do, right? Vegetarians, for one group. The only family members in either my wife's family or mine, don't give a hoot about farming, ranching or dairy's. Wife and I do, but then again, even though we don't do the "lifestyle" of any of the three, we still love what they do and what they contribute to society.
Hal, what I was talking about is what I have highlighted in red above. "REAL PEOPLE, not some Spirit in the Sky". Is that "Spirit in the Sky" referring to God as not real? Another thing, you didn't mention anything about what I said about what some folks think about farmers, cattlemen and dairymen. The vegetarians in society who don't eat meat and those that don't like milk products. Those that don't care where their cereal or other grain products come from, just as long as they are at the market to be bought/ate.
We generally say grace with the evening meal, but my wife and I don't always eat breakfast and lunch at the same time. The Japanese have an old customary grace before the meal and at the end of the meal, which translates (roughly) to, "I gratefully partake" and "I thank all who made this meal possible". The ending prayer thanks not only the farmers, etc., but also the truckers, cooks, the utility workers providing the heat to cook with, and others.
Growing up: "Bless us oh Lord for these thy gifts which we are about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen." After which dad would sometimes add, "Bless this here food and us that eats it."
The practice in my immediate family was to say your personal prayer silently. We always ate at the table and everyone waited until all the food was served and on the individual plates and then a moment of silence in respect for those that needed a chat with God. At the big family Texas gatherings where most were fundamental Christian churchgoers, then the eldest was always asked to say a prayer. However, if the eldest didn't fit the expected protocol, then the next in line was asked. Great Uncle Earnest Lee was the oldest but also a free thinker. He was only asked once that I remember because he always looked up explaining that his God was in the sky not down in the hot melting core of the earth and he would be damned before he gave thanks to the Devil for the food he worked hard to raise and the hour's Aunt Eveley Fay spent preparing it. I was blessed to spend a month with them one year. Great Uncle EL taught me how to pray aloud. He explained that out loud prayers are for the listeners more than God. God likes silent prayers. Out loud prayers should always put a constructive spin on the events of the day. No two prayers should be alike. God does not like repetition he would say and repetition is for brainwashing. God does not need brainwashing, he would say. His verbal prayers were my favorite as he thanked God for things like giving him the strength to hold on to the oak tree and survive the tornado that destroyed the chicken coop. The old worthless hens weren't laying anyway and the coop was in need of serious repair and piled high with poo, so thank you God for taking care of that pending project. He even thanked God for me coming to visit and collecting green persimmons so Auntie EF could formulate her effective hemorrhoid cream. They were both getting crippled up and she could no longer walk down in the rough pasture to get the persimmons. I now understand how my getting these magical fruits was a blessing for her. Others in the family would say the same old prayers asking a blessing for the hands that grew and prepared the food etc etc etc. I never understood how this did anything but fulfill a tradition. I don't pray out loud, but if I was asked I would pattern my praise after my Great Uncle EL.
Usually my dad said grace at every dinner, sometimes mom, less often my brother and I were pressured to. The habit never caught on with me until one of my Pagan friends taught me a chant sung either during cooking or before eating. I painted it over my kitchen doorways so I wouldn't forget it. I don't sing it every day, but it always feels good when I do.