Does Anyone Remember Healthy Families Any More ?

Discussion in 'Health & Wellness' started by Jeff Elohim, May 15, 2021.

  1. Jeff Elohim

    Jeff Elohim Very Well-Known Member
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    LIke,
    when someone Amish falls down, there's half a dozen relatives present either already or within minutes to help. Not one electronic alert needed nor wanted to replace the human family.

    Sometimes two dozen ? i.e. big strong family.

    How long has it been since the 'normal'? 'average' citizen of the usa has had a good healthy family ? (not needing electronic gadgets or devices)
     
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  2. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    The Amish live in settlements. Many of the rest of us go our own way when we become of adult age. That's not necessarily unhealthy, it's cultural.

    That being said, I live in a very rural county where there are neighborhoods consisting of people who are related to each other, and some number of households with multiple generations under one roof. Most of the folks I go to church with are my age and older, and several of them have their adult children moving back to the neighborhood to help their aging parents.

    Let's not fool ourselves into believing one way is all good and the other way is all bad. Each situation is unique. I'm sure many enjoy the support system, while others are trapped in their situations, having their lives stolen from them. Most of the offspring I know of who are rallying around their aging parents have at least one sibling who is off living their own life...I can sense the resentment.
     
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  3. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    I have a friend in England whose cultural boundaries hail from China. I wrote “boundaries” because there are some distinct family traditions that have to be followed in order to remain accepted in that community.
    Her parents are both very old and her father has had some medical difficulties for the last 4 years or so and she has become their caregiver. She’s the younger of two siblings and her brother enjoys the life in London whilst she must stay at her parents home and take care of business.
    She went to Harvard University, she’s extremely smart, is a great writer and very attractive but all that has to stay in the closet somewhere until her parents are no longer.
    She loves her parents for which there is no doubt but it’s her JOB as the female of the two kids to be the caregiver whist her brother enjoys whatever he wishes to do.
    Yeah, she resents that just a tad.

    One other incident I know of revolves around my brother. He’s been going with the same lady in Germany for about 15 years but even though he’s retired, he can’t move back to the states because she has to take care of her parents. She has other siblings but again, it seems to be her Job to be the caregiver whilst everyone else goes about their lives at whatever pace they wish.
     
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  4. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    In those culture where such duties are seemingly universally assigned (gender, eldest, youngest, etc) I wonder if they are ever compromised. In other words, I wonder if the daughter who is culturally obligated to fulfill the role is able to sluff it off onto others. Absent cultural expectations, the family dynamics that cause one person to be "it" can be the stuff of nightmares, and is a furtherance of the "you don't matter" messages that person has been hearing since Day One.

    Quite frankly I am aghast at some of the older women I know who are "entitled" to disrupt the lives of their adult children. I know one who was relocating to be near her daughter and her daughter's family "whether she wants me there or not." Disrespect of boundaries (especially such overt matter-of-fact disrespect) makes my blood boil.

    On the other hand, I am sure other cultures are shocked that we contract this stuff out, and put "our own parents" in human warehouse situations. Sometimes I am, too.
     
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    Last edited: May 16, 2021
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  5. Jeff Elohim

    Jeff Elohim Very Well-Known Member
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    When the children do what is right , they are blessed, and their families too.
     
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  6. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    Ya just gotta read the entire post and soak it in Jeff.
    No one is denying that it is right for children to take care of their aging parents. What IS wrong is that cultural and societal mandates cause a single child of 2 or more children to care for the parents.
    That said, in II Corinthians we have Paul saying that it is not the children’s job to save up for the parents but the parents job to save for the children.
    On the other hand, in II Timothy, we read that it is right that children take care of the parents.

    Morally and ethically it is right whether by Biblical terms or secular that aging parents should be looked after by the children, but just not one child but all of them if there are more than 1.
     
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  7. Jeff Elohim

    Jeff Elohim Very Well-Known Member
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    Since it is rare enough to find even one person at all doing what is right ,
    they are blessed 'more' (and it is rare) if they have even only one child doing what is right.
     
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  8. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    On the other hand, sometimes parents reap what they sow.
     
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  9. Jeff Elohim

    Jeff Elohim Very Well-Known Member
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    Actually, even if the parents are harsh,

    the family is blessed if the child/ children does what is right. (according to the Creator)
     
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